• A surprise appearance by
Mick Jagger causes a
near-riot at his illegitimate son's grade school. Right, like Brazilian 6-year-olds know who the fuck Mick Jagger is.
• Most women look all glowy and happy and shiny and fresh when they're all knocked up.
Gwyneth Paltrow? Ehhhhh,
not so much.
• Thar she blows! A hump like a snowhill! It's
Britney, breaching and proving that yes, the Murphy's Mart Five and Dime off Cub Run Highway in central Kentucky does, in fact, have a
swimwear line!
• An Olsen twin with her
right teat hanging out? HOW RUDE!
•
PETA urges our vice president to shoot
Eva Longoria in the face. Yes, you read that correctly.
• We're kind of grossing ourselves out over the fact that we think
Avril Lavigne is suddenly
utterly alluring.
• Betty White.
Naked. Eh, she's no Rue McClanahan.
•
Carmen Electra and
Victoria Silvstedt fake
make out, legions of dudes in fake tans and Gotti boy hairdos cream.
• Not satisfied with adopting needy children from across the Earth,
Angelina Jolie and
Brad Pitt branch out and adopt a beautiful new
baby from the planet Owens-Corning and debut their new child in all her rosy, fluffy glory in Paris. Congrats to the new parents!
