• Macauley Culkin and That '70s Show's Mila Kunis have been shopping for engagement rings and getting ready to create the dirtiest sounding hyphenated surname ever: Kunis-Culkin. Penis-Cockin'? Pubis-Caulking?

• Kim Raver: nice boob. We mean, shirt.

• PopBitch sez: "Jake Gyllenhaal was in London last week to promote Jarhead. He was without on-off love Kirsten Dunst but quickly had another girl in tow, whom he attempted to impress by telling her he'd also shagged Chelsea Clinton." Well, we're impressed. And by "impressed", we mean "the opposite of impressed".

• Listen, Lindsay, you had your moment as Owner of the Best Breasts in Young Hollywood but you blew it, OK? You fucked it up. Put the Sharpie down and back away from the bathroom wall. The tiara has been passed. The tiara has been passed.

• White of teeth and gargantuan of boob, Jenna Jameson ruled the AVN Awards.

• Hey cancer, you can ravage Kylie Minogue's breasts but you will never! Take! That ass!!!

• Cindy Crawford pix! Actually, Cindy Crawford picks.  

Bite-sized pop gnome Kylie Minogue has been forced to cancel the Australian leg of her "Showgirls" tour after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Sometimes there is a time for snark in the face of disease (like, what if Usher got leprosy of the nutbag? Now that's comedy!), but we sincerely wish Kylie and her boobs a safe and speedy recovery.  

. . . But whose is bigger? The world may never know.  

During Kylie Minogue's recent appearance on a kids' TV show, the children sitting in the front row were treated to oh so much more than her infectious brand of hooky, homosexual-friendly pop when an errant gust of wind blew up the handkerchiefs masquerading as her skirt.