You guys know about Shark Week, right? It's the week of nonstop Discovery Channel programming all about the vicious, sharp-toothed, slippery killers lurking under the sea. Children and frat boys alike look forward to Shark Week like it was Christmas. Here at CNW it seems that we are unwittingly experiencing our own version of Shark Week. We call it Lesbian Week. First the (false) rumor that Eva Longoria and Beyoncé would be doing the coot-scootin' boogie in a movie, and now that possibly very real rumor that actresses Kristanna Loken and Michelle Rodriguez are embroiled in a lesberado romance. If this were shark week, you'd be donning shark-fin hats and noshing on Goldfish crackers. Since this is Lesbian Week, you should put on your vagina hats and snack on . . . uh . . . vaginas.  

• Maggie Gyllenhaal's been impregnated by, and is now engaged to, Peter Sarsgaard. Congrats, Gaardhaal.

• We told you about Sienna Miller supposedly being snapped doing some career-threateningly embarrassing cavorting at a VF party. Here are the pics. BFD.

• Kristanna Loken: if you're Loken for an upskirt shot, you've found one.

• Jennifer Love Hewitt says that Fez is a dirty liar and that she absolutely did not take a ride on his baloney pony.

• Keri Russell, NAKED in a magazine. However, it's Vanity Fair, so there's no real Felicity felititty.

• Women want Kelly Brook's body. They want her body baaad.

• Paris Hilton shows off her sultry pipes. And for once, we're not talking about her poon chasm.

• That little girl from Pete and Pete is now a plumber.

• Mariah Carey's foxy ex-boyfriend upgrades to Cindy Crawford. She's planning on leaving her husband and moving into her new love's refrigerator box in Shantytown, USA.  

You know what men seem to like? Lesbians. You know what else men like? Pretty lesbians. So when a pretty lady turns out to be a pretty lesbian, we're more than happy to write one of these thingies right here that you're reading and tell you all about the pretty pretty pretty famous lesbian lady, like Bloodrayne's Kristanna Loken.