• Hilary Duff has dropped her older emo craprocker lover with MySpace hair.

• She's also dropped the lower 2 inches off those much-maligned veneers. Neiggggh!

• J. Lo can't seem to make a baby. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that her husband is a reanimated corpse. That was mean.

• In this crazy age of full-on spread pink Britney labia in our faces, it's kind of refreshing and titillating to see a lady in a bikini. Good on ya, Kelly Brook.

• Rihanna, on the other hand, is taking a page from the Merry Divorcée and serving up lippage.

• Britney has mysteriously pulled out of planned joint Billboard Awards hosting duties, leaving Paris to go it solo. That marks the very first time you've ever heard "Britney" and "pulled out" in the same sentence.

• Borat blamed for the Pam Anderson-Kid Rock split. In related news, Borat causes global warming, racial profiling was Borat's idea, and Borat sold all that vodka to Mel Gibson.

• Note to Snoop: YOU HAVE MONEY. HIRE SOMEONE TO CARRY YOUR DRUGS AND GUNS FOR YOU.

 

Always one to jump on a PETA-approved trend, Pam Anderson has filed for divorce from her husband of less than four months, Kid Rock. We know that the trend-setting abilities of Reese and Ryan and, especially, Britney and KFed are often irresistable to lesser-caliber celebrities, but we thought Pam and Kid's shared love of plastic palookas constrained by teeny bikinis, PBR, and rabbit-like sex in public (we assume) would be enough to last at least a year or two.  

Although Pam Anderson and her handsome talented intelligent charming dirty-blonde husband Kid Rock have only been married a scant week or so, they work fast. She recently revealed that she might already be roasting up baby w.t. royalty in her sexy, sexy womb. Thank God for that--Baby Federspears 2 will need someone to mate with in thirteen years.  

And while we're on the topic of boulder-like man-made titties, Pam Anderson is getting married. We're sure the four of them will be very happy together.  

If you were to ask us to make a list of two celebrities we'd want to see together in a sex tape, "Kid Rock and Scott Stapp" would fall somewhere between "Biz Markie and Carol Channing" and "Harvey Weinstein and a bag of fat sucked out of Star Jones's neck". But alas, nightmares have become reality. Safe for work preview after the jump.  

Kid Rock was arrested early this morning for allegedly clocking a DJ at a strip club in Nashville, TN. Listen, Kid, we're tired of hearing the Crüe's "Girls, Girls, Girls" too, but you don't see us getting all fisty.