• Yes, you've seen Kate Moss in her underwear before. But that's not going to stop you from looking again.

• David Hasselhoff says that he, like, totally could have done Princess Di if he wanted to, and that they flirted once. She said "You look much better with your clothes on," and then the Hoff replied, "Well Ma'am, so do you." That . . . doesn't . . . make any sense.

• For all you gymnast (we're quite dumb) figure skater-loving old dudes: Katarina Witt upskirt!

• When Britney and Christina kissed Madonna at the MTV awards lo, so many years ago, Christina suggested that she and Britney lock lips, but Brit declined, because she's incredibly classy and very discerning when it comes to whom she lays her mouth upon.

• A man resembling the leather daddy from The Village People is telling all about his affairs with Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, Randy Travis, Andrea Boccelli, and Garth Brooks. Of the latter, he says, "When you're fucking a whale, it seems like an eternity." You're preaching to the choir, pal.

• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are both presently vacationing in Maui. Which is purely a coincidence, we're sure.

• Welcome to Bizarroworld: Ashlee looks stylish, Jessica wears a harem-panted jumpsuit. 2 Legit!

• Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay assaults a throng of Lohan-stalking Pavarottis when he thinks they're interested in him. But he did not do said assaulting in or with a wacky hat, sadly.

• Nicole Richie cries that the media reports saying she's anorexic are stressing her out so bad that she's becoming anorexic!  

As we mentioned before, Kate Hudson's marriage is not only over, she's reportedly saddled up, slipped her dainty feet into the well-worn stirrups, and trotted off on the sinewy back of The Butterscotch Stallion. But the impetus for doing so might not be a simple "irreconcilable differences"--Kate reportedly has grown weary of playing the part of the meat in a Chris Robinson-giggling groupie sandwich.  

Yesterday we were indescribably bored by the break-up of Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson because there were no details. Today we learn that Kate might be getting some sweet, sweet salad tossing from a Stallion of the Butterscotch variety. Way to go, Kate. You caught our interest with nary a slipped nip in sight.  

We warned you, Kate Hudson, but you just wouldn't listen. Let this be a lesson to future scissors-averse starlets: If you allow your son's hair to grow to Cornsilk Cabbage Patch Kid Becky LaRue lengths, you will end up in divorce court. It's simple cause and effect, people.  

We've been on Kate Hudson's Kid's HairWatch for quite some months. The situation has gone from "Hey, Kate, your son's looking like he might feel more comfortable in a dress" to "Is that Sebastian Bach's daughter?" Exhibit A:

And we're guessing that little Ryder getting an ass kicking on the playground might be just a wee bit related to the state of his locks. At least three-year-old bullies have underdeveloped vocabularies and can't yet yell "Pansy!" with every punch.  

There's a very good reason why Hollywood types keep themselves locked up in the VIP sections of exclusive clubs and multimillion-dollar homes in the Hills, only emerging for vital necessities like coke and non-fat, low-foam triple-shot buckywuckyccinos. They're just too beautiful to be seen by people who are used to being surrounded by three-hundred-pound Wal-Mart employees from Joliet who are in desperate need of some expensive dental work and VO5 hot oil. If Kate Hudson can cause a helicopter crash and Eva Longoria can bring down a photographer, just think what kind of destruction Angelina Jolie could cause if she was spotted in a bikini. Maybe that will be the catalyst for the world's ultimate destruction. People magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People will gather on a Malibu beach and hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes and the like will bring about our planet's end.  

Far be it from us (or you, or anyone) to take sex advice that comes clucking out from the coop that is The View. But lovely actress and Hawn-spawn Kate Hudson went on the show yesterday to promote You, Me, & Dupree, and, instead of extolling the virtues of Owen Wilson's method acting skills, she--for an as-yet-unknown reason--started talking about porn. Thankfully, Star Jones Reynolds is gone, sparing viewers her eager assertions that she and Al, normal and loving and seriously totally heterosexual married couple that they are, also enjoy sharing a Peter North viewing or two.  

Yesterday we were saying that we should move to England because a lot of minor British celebrities seem to be caught in various states of undress quite often. But today we're changing our mind. We're moving to L.A., because even in the week before Christmas it is warm enough there for a lady such as Kate Hudson to walk around in a thin, see-through top with no bra. We wear more than that when we're in the shower.  

Some people are fueled by food, some people are fueled by caffeine, and yet others are driven by the nerve-tingling Lohanesque cocktail of Dexatrim mixed with blow. But Kate Hudson says that she's driven by sexual energy . . . just like her mom. Ew. Ew. Ew. EW.