We're happy that Elisha Cuthbert is riding high from . . . what? Starring opposite Paris Hilton in House of Wax? Managing to not get killed on another season of 24? We really don't know what she has to be so proud of. Other than her breasts. Because they're pretty damn awesome. But girl's keeping them to herself. And she's gonna keep on telling us about it. That is until the day that she can't even land a cameo in a Tara Reid vehicle and decides to finally take off her clothes for some cash. Then she'll tell us she never said she wouldn't get naked. And you know what? We'll be able to read this here story and feel pretty good about ourselves. Not as good as seeing her boobs will make us feel, but still.  

It's the week between Christmas and New Year's, when it seems that only about 10% of Americans are working (and if our British gossip site oracles are any indication, all of England is asleep in their figgy puddings right now) and we can't see past our bulging gut thanks to that leftover batch of Santa-shaped sugar cookies we scarfed down for breakfast, so we weren't expecting much from the gossip world today. Of course we had forgotten that during the holiday season celebrities spend time lounging in tropical locales donning very little clothing. So today we're collecting more celebrity breast meat than you can shake your stick at. Happy Holidays!  

We're assuming that yesterday you logged into CelebNewsWire with fevered, expectant fingers, as is your daily wont, and read our story about how Jessica Alba is ready and willing to shuck her duds for the right movie. And we can also assume that you thought lightbulbs would appear over the heads of lesser yet just-as-cute actresses like, say, Eliza Dushku and Elisha Cuthbert and other starlets whose first names begin with E and end in A when they realized that, hey, Alba's doin' it! It must be the hep thing. If you didn't think that, don't worry--we thought it for you. And as it turns out, we were totally wrong, and we don't often admit that, you know.  

Paris Hilton likes to claim that her bubbly personality and proclivity for flashing her poon are due to nothing more than Red Bull and a knowledge that people throw cash at her for the demanding task of simply putting her hand on her hip and jauntily cocking her wonky eye to one side. But her House of Wax co-star Elisha Cuthbert thinks the whiskey might have a little something to do with it.  

We've all seen Carmela's mobster-loving ass on The Sopranos, but few have seen her mafiosi upstairs in the 1997 movie Trouble on the Corner. Hopefully the Toronto-screened film The Quiet will garner a bit more attention for Edie Falco's eclairs. For some reason Edie is having a hard time getting some attention from Martin Donovan, so she strips off her robe and struts around in just her white panties, to no avail (the guy must be blind). That's the only nudity in the film, but up-and-comer Elisha Cuthbert does look damn sexy throughout the movie, often donning a bra-and-panties combo (when she's not dressed in short-shorts or a cheerleading outfit). From Old School to The Girl Next Door, Elisha gets sexier with every performance, so we have faith that she'll join her co-star Edie in the land of the boob-barers before too long.
More Edie at MrSkin.com.
And Elisha too.  

• Jennifer Aniston collapses on movie set, pregnancy rumors sure to follow.

• We previously reported that The Lady Federline was about to pose nude and el preggo on the cover of Vanity Fair. As it turns out, she's not. Her burgeoning bump has grown to such gargantuan proportions that they'd have to spring for a foldout.

• Hurry! Empty your bank account and place all celebrity death pool bets on Zsa Zsa Gabor, pronto!

• Drew Barrymore forced to gently care for eight peckers.

• Because we hate ourselves and can only bolster our fragile self-esteem by mocking others, please enjoy Sky's "Stars Looking Rough".

• First Neneh Cherry, now Daryl Hall . . . why are our best and brightest being struck down with Lyme disease? It's a deer tick conspiracy.

• It's Crazy Eddie's 24-Hour, 24 star liquidation sale! Our prices are crrrrazy! We've got Elisha Cuthberts on sale for the low, low price of $47! Act now, and we'll throw in a couple of Keifers at no extra cost!