Normally when we link to pictures of celebrities naked in a magazine, the pictures fall into one of two categories: Playboy style (long in the tooth/career on the skids star/former child star with something to prove gets intense bikini wax, shows boobs) or Vanity Fair style (softly-lit, tasteful nude of popular star with legs crossed and arms draped languidly over bosom). After the cut, the pictures of Chloë Sevigny et al fall into the second group, unfortunately, but there's a bright side! You can look at the pictures safely at work, seeing how there are no boobs and pubes and such and such. And if your boss is still outraged, you can say, "It's ART! Look! It's black and white and everything!"  

We have no idea if these photos of Chloë Sevigny are new or old, because we try not to ever look directly at her, as we fear that her twelve-inch zippers and ironic use of gladiator sandals may suck out our soul if we get too close, and frankly we don't care if they're from 1982 (well, actually we would care if they were from 1982, since Chloë was eight in 1982 and that would be disgusting and creepy and illegal). She's bare ass naked. So y'all can kiss a dick. Or, we guess in this instance you'll probably be doing something quite different with a dick. Sorry. We'll come up with a more appropriate K-Fed quote later.  

Last Wednesday, Bill Paxton and Chloe Sevigny appeared on The View to chat with the Gorgons about their polygamy-chic new HBO show, Big Love. Joy Behar asked Chloe about her infamous Brown Bunny knob-gargling scene, reportedly causing her and Paxton to "go ballistic". They also reportedly went "nut-tastic", "cocktabulous", and "scrot-o-riffic".  

We thought that if there was one thing we could trust in this crazy mixed-up world it was Vincent Gallo. But, alas, he has duped our frail and innocent minds. That wasn't really his penis. Now our recurring nightmare must be redirected toward someone else.  

Out of the sewers of New York City it rises, a vision twisted, bulbous, and vile, spewing venomous excrement, a hideous form much-mythologized yet rarely seen. Hey! It's Vincent Gallo's wiener in The Brown Bunny!