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Some clam shuckers got hitched this weekend. Yay California! According to the Daily Mail:
Chat show host Ellen DeGeneres and actress Portia de Rossi were married following an intimate ceremony in the grounds of their LA home.
Fewer than 20 of the couple's family and friends gathered at sunset for the civil service ceremony but the event attracted a swarm of press anxious to get a glimpse of the lesbian couple.
As they posed for official photographers, the loved-up pair were clearly enjoying their big day.
Former comic and sitcom star DeGeneres wore a loose-fitting white chiffon shirt, white waistcoat and trousers while de Rossi wore a cream and pale pink halterneck dress by designer Zac Posen.
The couple have been dating since December 2004 and DeGeneres announced her plans to wed her lover on her chat show in May.
DeGeneres and de Rossi now live together in Beverly Hills with their four cats.
Was it really important to throw in a mention of their four cats? And if so, why stop there? Why not go on to describe the hers and hers power tools in the garage and the cabinet in the kitchen stuffed with hundreds of varieties of herbal tea?
The wonderful and hilarious Yeeeah! has more blurry pics of the lezzie ceremony. more »
• Peaches Geldof and some indie rocker dude had a quickie wedding in Las Vegas. On their registry: deep V shirts, pocohontas headbands, and cocaine. (CelebWarship)
Congratulations are in order for adorable akimbo-toothed songbird and poetess Jewel and her rodeo guy beau Ty Murray, for they have tied the knot. Says People (via Celebitchy):
The singer and her longtime boyfriend, rodeo champion Ty Murray, eloped to the Bahamas and exchanged vows in a private ceremony Thursday night, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.
“She wore a traditional wedding gown, while Ty wore his favorite blue jeans, white shirt and cowboy hat,” says Jewel’s rep. “The couple is very happy and look forward to enjoying their honeymoon.”
We could not find words to adequately express our joy for the union of Jewel and Ty, so instead, we'll let Jewel do the talking. Here is a poem of hers that we think really captures the occasion.
Vincent Said
Vincent said she was like screwing a corpse,
but a 16-year-old corpse with young tits,
so it wasn't bad. She left the door open
while he pretended to be asleep
and did the walk o' shame
through the hotel lobby.
I know his girlfriend, Phyllis,
but I won't tell her.
It's not for me to judge
or to discriminate just because
she does
and he won't.
more »
Take a good look at the picture over to the left. It's as if Lindsay Lohan is remembering the good old days, seeing if she misses the feeling of a rigid tube of flesh poking her in the cheek. And it seems that the answer is no. Nope, girly prefers a big juicy clam in her maw, as word on the street is that Lilo is preparing to permanently play wifey to hat stand Samantha Ronson. According to The Mirror (via Yeeeah!):
Sam splashed out on an [$22,000] Cartier diamond ring for her girlfriend. “Sam took Lindsay shopping to celebrate her 22nd birthday,” says a source. “Although Lindsay is the major breadwinner, Sam has her own money and is very proud. It’s a token of her commitment. Lindsay is thrilled.”
You know, when we were in the habit of watching Mean Girls about once a week, watching Lindsay's glorious gazongas testing the limits of Forever 21 cotton/poly blends, we had dreams about stuff like this. Only in those dreams the girl sticking her digits into LiLo's taco usually looked a bit more like Scarlett Johansson than a mannish mash-up of David Spade and Charlie Chaplin. Be careful what you wish for, kiddos. more »
We've long wondered why America's Next Sexiest Sexy Lady Megan Fox was engaged to Brian Austin Green. Turns out that Megan has long wondered that, too, and on the set of her new movie, she's been acting suspiciously BAGless. According to Star:
An insider on the set of Megan's movie Jennifer's Body says that the 22-year-old didn't act like she was taken. "I've never seen her wearing an engagement ring. I actually thought she and Adam Brody, who's also in the movie, were dating. They were very flirty with each other and were always hanging out together when they weren't working." But her good pal, actress Jennifer Blanc, tells Star that despite her leaving the rock at home, Megan is indeed still engaged. "She does wear it sometimes," insists Jennifer. "I've never asked her why she doesn't always put it on."
Brian Austin Green aka David Silver. Adam Brody aka Seth Cohen. Sounds like old Megan has a type: resident dork on FOX show. Well hell, Meg, if we had known that we would have shown up to your house in costume as that wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle ages ago. more »
The novelty of a fleshy South American supermodel frequently seen in her underwear yet untouched by human dongs is about to become a thing of the past--Victoria's Secret star and virginAdriana Lima is about to have her cherry busted. She and her boyfriend of nine months, a half-McDreamy-half-Keanu hybrid called Marko Jaric, are engaged. People mag reports:
"He asked and she said yes. They are both incredibly happy and couldn't be more in love," says publicist James Weir.
Jaric is a Minnesota Timberwolf, which apparently is some sort of professional basketball player and not an actual Timberwolf. Which is probably a good thing, since virginity loss can sometimes be a bloody occasion and were she to lose her maidenhead to an actual timberwolf, it might devour her.
We're pretty sure that most celebrities are Godless sinners who believe that fame gives them an automatic guest-list spot in Heaven (except for Mel Gibson, of course; he loves Jesus), so hearing that Joel Madden won't marry Nicole Richie unless she becomes Christian just confuses us. The National Enquirer reports (via Celebitchy):
“Joel is determined not to marry Nicole until she asks forgiveness for her sins and is willing to raise little Harlow with the same religious upbringing that he had,” a source told The Enquirer. “Joel may look like a rebel, but the truth is he is an old-fashioned conservative guy with hardcore Christian beliefs.
“… The Bible is a big part of his life - so much so that he has a tattoo of Jesus and a Sacred Heart on his arms. Joel went to church regularly as a kid and he believes that God has made him what he is today. He has seen all the problems that spoiled Hollywood children like Nicole encountered, and is determined to prevent Harlow from being the stereotypical Beverly Hills brat.”
In an attempt to break from her checkered past of rehab stints, drunk driving and drug arrests, Nicole has already begun her spiritual transformation, says a close friend. And insiders say she couldn’t be happier. “It looks like Nicole is on the way to fully embracing Joel’s religious beliefs,” said the friend. “She knows how great her life has become thanks to him.”
As The Enquirer reported last week, Nicole has had trouble coping with the stress of motherhood. “Joel thinks God will be the ultimate answer to her problems,” continued the source…. “As much as Joel loves Nicole, and is dedicated to being her rock, he feels like their marriage would never work unless they are on the same page with their religious beliefs,” added the source. “Bottom line, he wants a Christian family.”
"Yeah, baby, you're cool and all, we can live together, I'll screw you when I'm not busy reading my Bible, and you can have my kid, but, sorry, I don't marry heathens."
Most people feel a little bit gypped by weddings. You buy some new clothes, a big black-and-white box from Crate & Barrel, spend an entire day "celebrating love" or some crap, and then another day holding an ice pack to your throbbing head. Plus, you'll likely have to see someone's fat Uncle Bob attempt to cabbage patch during a Will Smith song. If it weren't for the cake and the hope of an open bar, nobody would put up with them. So are Mariah Carey's moneybags comrades getting off easy by being coaxed to send Wedgewood and Waterford without getting some roast beef and lemon chiffon cake first? Page Six dishes on Mimi's gift fishing:
MARIAH Carey's friends and colleagues weren't invited to her impromptu wedding to Nick Cannon, but they can still send a gift. According to an insider, "Mariah's assistant, Gina, sent out over 100 e-mails to her wealthy friends letting them know that she's registered at Bergdorf Goodman if they want to buy her a present. It's odd because she's not even having a big wedding party or anything. It was assumed they'd have a big celebration when they got back, but no. They just want the gifts." On the list are "fine china, very expensive silver stemware" and other items. Carey's rep declined to comment.
We understand the inclusion of stemware on the registry, as we're sure that Mariah loves a tipple, but china? What ever could that be used for? A nice game a Frisbee in the 500-square-foot master shower? A possible weapon in case Nick gets uppity and wants Mimi to watch something "scary" and "manly" like Rambo in the in-house deluxe screening room? Because we're pretty sure they're not for when Mariah invites the Beckhams or the Trumps over for a nice home-cooked meal of lasagna and garlic bread. We're pretty sure that Mimi only eats pesticide-free julienned tree bark at this point. She probably heard that it contains negative calories and will completely eliminate cellulite. more »
• Sienna Miller finally cuts loose her improbably-named, leonine lover Rhys Ifans. (CeleBuzz)
• Angry whelp Miley Cyrus wrecks equipment on the set of her new video. "Grrrr! I'm so mad! Like a bear! Grrr! Like a fluffy bear! With a bow around its neck! Grrr . . . awwww." (Drunken Stepfather)
Wedding fever is sweeping famous people land! In the guylinery wake of the Wentz nuptials, every celebrity couple is planning on conceiving a child and/or tying the not. Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are no exception. According to our gossip ring bearer, FemaleFirst:
Justin Timberlake has been shopping for an engagement ring.
The singer is planning to propose to Jessica Biel and is asking her close friends to help him choose the perfect diamond band. A pal of Jessica's told the Chicago Sun Times newspaper: "Justin has been ring shopping, and we're talking serious, major Harry Winston-type shopping here. He has been quizzing Jessica's closest pals and associates, trying to get a take on the kind of engagement rings she has admired. The only comment I ever heard Jessica make was when she complimented a mutual friend's square-cut emerald ring - when a girlfriend of ours got engaged. It was huge!"
Justin's friends claim the 'SexyBack' singer realised he wanted to take his relationship with Jessica to the next level after their busy work schedules kept them apart for long periods.
Last month, it was claimed Justin was ready to marry Jessica on the privately owned island of Mustique in the West Indies. A source said: "Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica."
Smart move, Timberlake. Smart move. When a woman has glutes that cause the most hardened among us to lie in the fetal position and sob uncontrollably. If and when this wedding actually takes place, Biel will probably just put a veil over her ass and walk down the aisle backwards. And when the minister asks, "Do you, butt, take Justin?" she will fart. Kissing the bride will be replaced by full analingus. Butthole jokes: the little black dress of comedy! more »
So you're a 21-year-old already nearly washed-up and somewhat rehabbed actress and you've finally found the lesbian love of your life and you want to declare to the whole world that she's the only one who will be sampling your clam from now on. What do you do next? Go to Dollywood, of course! Our gossip island in the stream, FemaleFirst, reports:
The 'Mean Girls' star was seen sporting a ring at the Dolce and Gabanna party at the Cannes Film Festival, in France, and reportedly told her former lover, British model Calum Best, the pair are engaged.
According to Britain's Daily Star newspaper, the 'Georgia Rule' star has apparently told friends she wants to have a partnership ceremony with Ronson at Dolly Parton's Dollywood theme park in July.
She is also referring to herself as Lindsay Ronson.
Rumours Lohan and Ronson are more than just friends have been circulating for months.Previously leaked emails from Lohan to Ronson said: "Babe, if I don't have you in my life then I should just go die? I want to marry you."
Reports also suggest that since returning from the world famous film festival, Lohan has moved into Ronson's Los Angeles home.
We really think that Dollywood is an inspired location for a Lohan wedding. Not only is Dolly a beloved gay icon and therefore accepting of Lindsay and Sam's love, she also knows a thing or two about using your gigantic bosoms to get ahead in life. Linds could learn something from good ol' Dolly, as LiLo doesn't yet seem to understand that her hooters have a hypnotizing effect on her audience. Used in the right way, Lindsay's headlights could lure millions upon millions of men to repeatedly pay to see a Lindsay Lohan joint, even if it was an imaginative dual sequel to Herbie Fully Loaded and Just My Luck. Those pontoons are just that powerful.
Oh, and even Lindsay's dad says, "Duh, she totally boinking Sam."
And in case Lindsay's meager engagement ring up there doesn't fulfill your daily quota of pizazz, witness Dolly Parton singing "9 to 5" with a bunch of be-costumed Disney characters.
Oh Jessica Alba, you irrepressible little rapscallion! Waiting until we're all atizzy over the Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz Tweedledumbass nuptials and then sneaking off and getting hitched on a Monday. People scoops the poop:
Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have gotten married, PEOPLE confirms.
The couple quietly wed Monday, says her rep, Brad Cafarelli.
Alba, 27, is expecting a daughter with Warren, 31, this summer.
The couple met while filming Fantastic Four and were engaged last December.
So if you were spending sleepless nights worrying about the soul of their unborn fetus coming into this world a bastard and therefore destined to forever be filleted in the fiery bowels of hell for all eternity, worry no longer. That one was for our significant Neo-Calvinist readership. Haaaaaay. more »
We'd like to extend a hearty congratulations to Amy Winehouse! Today she and her loving husband, her Blake incarcerated, celebrate one year of wedded matrimony. Truly these are fortuitous days for nuptials, so Ashlee Simpson and her stubby lover Pete Wentz picked a great time to make it legal. Reports People:
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz were married Saturday evening in an intimate ceremony, their spokesperson tells PEOPLE exclusively. “We’re delighted to confirm that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson were married this evening in front of family and close friends,” said the spokesperson.
Simpson, 23, wore an ivory lace wedding gown by Monique Lhuillier accessorized with a diamond necklace and earrings by Neil Lane as she and Wentz, 28, exchanged vows in front of 150 guests at her parents’ Los Angeles area home.
Dad Joe Simpson performed the non-denominational ceremony, while sister Jessica served as maid of honor. Wentz’s English bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring-bearer. Guests included Jessica’s boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, as well as actor Donald Faison with girlfriend CaCee Cobb.
At various times, we've speculated that the wedding would involve straightening irons, hoodies, and copious amounts of cutting, but the happy occasion actually had a very different theme. According to IMDb:
The newlyweds celebrated their new status as husband and wife with an Alice in Wonderland-themed reception, with black beauty roses by Mark's Garden decorating each table. The wedding cake, by Sam Godfrey of Perfect Endings, featured a top hat, a tea pot, a stop watch and a pot of flowers on top.
Because nothing says "eternal love" quite like a anthropomorphic caterpillar smoking a bong.
Your wedding and baby photos: You pay $3.79 at the Walgreens photo kiosk for a stack of glossy 8x10s. Famous people's wedding and baby photos: Magazines pay them millions of dollars to run the images for the whole world to see. That hard-won managerial position at Hot Topic seemed like a pretty sweet gig last week, didn't it? But to think, if only you were Pete Wentz, People magazine would pay you $1 million to show off your MySpace hair on their pages. That's a sweet gig. TMZ reports:
At least someone cares enough to pay cold hard cash for pregnant bride Ashlee Simpson's wedding pics!
Sources tell us People mag is shelling out "well over" one milllll-ion dollars (yes, as in seven figures) for pictures of Ash and guylinered Pete Wentz. That's probably more than she's made -- total -- from her "singing."
For their part, the mag says, "We're thrilled that celebrities continue to choose PEOPLE as the place to share their most intimate photos. We do not comment on specifics of any deals."
That's a lot of money to see some guy in a ripped up hoodie and skinny jeans mumble "Yeah sure" in response to "Do you take this woman . . . "
Also raking in the big bucks for doing a whole bunch of nothing: Matthew McConaughey. TMZ again:
Matthew McConaughey and baby mama Camila Alves are busy doing what all expectant parents do -- fielding million dollar offers for pictures of their kid!
TMZ has learned that McConaughey has hired "brand agent" Todd Shemarya -- who's already brokered deals for Brangelina and Xtina -- to help pull in some serious dough for photos of his child. So far, Mattyboy's gotten offers from three different publications -- EACH OVER A MILLION BUCKS! And the price is still climbing.
No word if the baby is a boy or girl -- but either way it's gonna be a cash cow. What happened to the bongo drumming, "just keep living" McConaughey we all knew and loved? Guess he's got to find some way to keep paying for all those shirts -- ya know, the ones he never wears.
The propmaster for the photo shoot may have her work cut out for her, as we're sure little Bud McC will have a toothbrush in one hand and a tallboy in the other. It will be so precious to see how much the little one takes after Daddy.
First he gave her a little baby bundle capable of challenging Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's title as World's Sexiest Baby, and now Modelman has given Halle Berry an engagement ring. According to Showbiz Spy:
New mom Halle Berry is engaged to her boyfriend Gabriel Aubry after he gave her his grandmother’s ring.
“Gabriel felt the time was right to propose. He gave her the family heirloom because he wanted to show her how much she means to him, and how she will be accepted into the Aubry family,” a source close to the couple said.
“The ring belonged to Gabriel’s grandmother – it was her engagement ring.”
The ‘X Men’ actress, 41, was snapped flashing the diamond ring in Hollywood this past weekend.
Berry gave birth to the couple’s first daughter, Nahla Ariela, in March.
Halle and Gabriel, 32, started dating in November 2005.
Way to get a jump on all those other Hollywood unwed mothers, Halle. Nicole Richie and Jessica Alba and Jamie Lynn Spears are going to have to try really hard to keep up with you, you wily minx.
Also contemplating a walk down the aisle, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal, although they're planning on having the wedding first, then moving in together, then having the babies. God, what a coupla squares. Reports OK!:
Sitting in a cozy booth at the Hominy Grill in Charleston, S.C., on May 3, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal were the picture of happiness. Though the cheery couple, who arrived holding hands, brought their appetites, their minds weren't on food.
"They couldn't keep their eyes off each other," Hominy Grill manager Brandy Mangum tells OK!. "The entire time, he was so attentive. It was really sweet. They really do make the perfect couple."
Friends of the pair say it won't be long now before Jake pops the question to his lady love. "They've been talking marriage for a while," a source close to Reese reveals to OK!. "They'll be formally engaged any day now. They want to spend the rest of their lives together."
But don't expect these two to go down the route of so many Hollywood couples who move in together and start families before getting hitched. "This is a very serious relationship," the Oscar-winner's pal explains. "But Reese is very conservative and traditional. I'm sure she doesn't want her kids to see her 'living in sin.'"
When asked about their clients' plans for walking down the aisle, Reese's rep had no comment, while Jake's people claim there are no immediate plans for a wedding.
Aw, Jake will make a lovely bride. We wonder what color his bridesmaids will wear. Probably teal. more »
Love springs a turtle. Or eternal, whatever. Lip-synching, rhinoplastic fantastic celebrity sibling Ashlee Simpson is rumored to be marrying her wang-flashing Fall Out Fiance, Pete Wentz, this coming weekend. Reports Us:
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will wed Saturday, May 17 at a "top secret" location, a source close to the couple told Usmagazine.com.
"Proper invites have not been sent out but instead guests have been given a save the date notice," the source told Us.
The rehearsal dinner – described by the source as "an intimate affair" for "family and close friends only" – will take place on Friday.
On Saturday, "all guests will be transported in shuttles to the wedding location," the source explained.
Regarding Simpson's upcoming wedding, her spokesperson told Us: "This is a private matter. There is nothing to confirm."
It'll be the emoest affair this side of a Taking Back Sunday tour! Those non-invite save-the-date notices were probably sent out via MySpace bulletins. The bride and groom will be taking their own wedding portraits in a bathroom mirror with a point-and-shoot. However, this begs the question: can you put Blingees on a cake?
Ashlee Simpson has finally cracked the code to success. She's tried and tried, to no avail, getting engaged, toying with the public's minds over a possible wee Wentz in the womb, but those tactics haven't helped sell records. But you know what works every time? Boobs. Put some nice juicy jugs in a man's face, and he's sure to buy your record. And we thought Ash never took big sis's advice (well, other than every good older sister's passed-down wisdom: "You can't get pregnant if you do it in the butt." Or was that just our sister?). Those Simpsons sure know how to use a set of sweater stuffers to their advantage. And if that doesn't work, maybe a quickie wedding will do the trick. Ash can't let Mimi steal all the profiteering publicity. Reports Hollyscoop:
Ashlee Simpson has a lot on her plate, a new album, a baby on its way and a wedding. The singer is set to have a shotgun wedding next weekend in California to her rocker beau Pete Wentz.
A source close to the couple has told Hollyscoop exclusively, "The wedding invitations have been sent out, its taking place the weekend of May 16. The location will not be revealed until the day of the wedding but guests are told it will be an hour drive from Los Angeles."
Our source also confirmed that Ashlee is 100% pregnant. Papa Joe is probably busy selling off the wedding info and pictures as we speak so expect to see it in the tabloids Memorial weekend.
You know what? We don't really care if Ashlee and Petey are getting married next week or next millennium, and we also don't care about the occupation of Ashlee's womb. We know gossip has been a little sparse lately, but c'mon! It's bikini season. Where are the dastardly waves plotting to wash away famous ladies' tops? Is Kate Moss the only lady of importance who goes to nude beaches anymore? We appreciate Ashlee throwing us the boob bone here, but knowing that her cavernous casabas come from a need for publicity and not a true love of funbag flaunting sort of ruins it. Plus, she's with Pete. Two boobs in one photo are enough for us.
• Megan Fox takes "next Angelina Jolie" title literally, gets lipplants. (ONTD)
• Elisha Cuthbert stalks the sandy landscape in a bikini; cuddles muscular male; gets handsy with own buttocks. (Drunken Stepfather)
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's wedding photos will be in People. And they talk about being "soul mates". Even though they've known each other for six weeks. (Celebitchy)
• What mysterious pull do these Maddens have? Lindsay Lohan was busted trying to pick up Joel (that's Nicole Richie's Madden, not Paris Hilton's Madden) at a club the other night. There's not enough Maddens to go around. (Yeeeah!)
• Angelina Jolie is reportedly going to have twin girls. They'll have their mother's looks and their father's . . . looks. They can't go wrong! (I Don't Like You In That Way)
• Amy Winehouse is slowly devolving from soulful songstress to drunken party girl to crackhead to missing link to ape. Photographic evidence exists. (Holy Taco)
• In other Lohan news, she's still stealing clothing from her friends. Because when girls' daddies don't love them, the fill up their hearts with pilfered fur. (The Blemish)
• Blake Lively may play a high schooler on Gossip Girl, but that rack is alllll freshman year at a state U, baby. (Fatback)
• Post-birth, Halle has some Berry nice cleavage. We knew our childhood obsession with Strawberry Shortcake speak would come in handy some day! (Flisted)
Bazoomy hepatitis-negative blonde Scarlett Johansson is officially engaged to oft shirtless bad-movie specialist Ryan Reynolds. So how long do we have to wait until people start saying they heard from a friend of a friend of a friend of Scarj's hairstylist that she's carrying a tiny little package of chiseled abs in her womb? With Beyonce, we think it was about a week, but with Ashlee Simpson it was probably a matter of hours. Guess we'll just have to wait and see. After all, it's not possible that love is behind this whole thing. That's not how it works in Hollywood. Love doesn't cause marriages, failed EPTs do. According to WENN:
Scarlett Johansson has announced her engagement to actor boyfriend Ryan Reynolds. The couple has been dating since February 2007, shortly after Definitely, Maybe star Reynolds broke off his engagement to singer Alanis Morissette. The actress's representative Marcel Pariseau confirmed the news to People.com, revealing, "They're both thrilled." He added that no wedding date has been set. Johansson, 23, and 31-year-old Reynolds will step out for the first time as husband-and-wife-to-be at New York's Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala on Monday night. Johansson famously keeps her private life under wraps, but previously dated actor Josh Hartnett from 2004 to 2006. The media frenzy surrounding the impending nuptials comes at a great time for Johansson, who is promoting her new debut album of Tom Waits covers, entitled Anywhere I Lay My Head.
When your worldly assets amount to about $87, a cupboard full of Rice-a-Roni, and some broken IKEA furniture, it's hard to understand the need for a pre-nup, but celebrities aren't like us; the poorer of the pair (read: still richer than you'll ever dream of being) usually gets a pretty sweet salary from the deal. After all, it is business. It was rumored last week that Mariah Carey's hasty marriage didn't include the all-important monetary contracts, but FOX News thinks differently:
Miss Mariah and Mr. Cannon have a very nice prenuptial agreement.
Mariah apparently told a mutual pal of ours: "Anyone who thinks we didn't have a prenup is smoking something!"
This is not the Mariah Carey of old. She is a smart, smart businesswoman. For example: Post-Tommy Mottola, Carey nabbed $50 million from her short-lived deal with Virgin Records. After "Glitter," they just paid her all that to walk away!
She’s had three hit albums since then: "Charmbracelet," "Emancipation of Mimi" and the current "E=MC2." She has her own perfume line, as well. Mariah also has substantial real estate holdings, and let’s not forget the publishing royalties. Her name is on every song. This is not Whitney. She has a small fortune, and she’s not about to lose it, even in love.
You're probably thinking, "Of course they have a pre-nup. She's loaded and he's only a misstep or two away from starring in Safe Auto commercials for the rest of his career. What happens when both parties have mountains and mountains of money, like Jay-Z and Beyonce?" Lucky for you, The National Enquirer can answer that (via Celebitchy):
“The prenup calls for Jay-Z to pay Beyonce $10 million if the marriage ends after two years, and $1 million dollars a year for each further year she remains in the marriage, up to 15 years,” revealed a source familiar with the deal.
“If they do split, he’s promised to pony up $10 million to buy her a home.
“He’s promised to pay her an additional $5 million for each child she bears him - for her ‘loss of income’ during the pregnancy and child-rearing years.”
$5 mil for each baby? That's a pretty sweet deal. We wonder if there's any sort of twin clause in the pre-nup. Maybe twins are like a triple-word score and she'd net $15 mil for the set. Twins are the newest Hollywood trend, and that Hova likes to be on top of the latest fads.
Yesterday we heard that Mariah Careywas engaged to famous-for-something-or-other young'n Nick Cannon. Then we heard they were actually already married. But maybe they weren't. And Mariah's ring was recycled from Nick's last till-death-(or-someone-hotter)-do-us-part moment. But then again maybe it just looked a hell of a lot like that ring. We are so confused. Why can't all celebrities be as up front about their possible nuptials as Star Jones was? That whole privacy thing is way overrated anyway, and we're pretty sure that not every celeb who whores out their wedding to OK! or People ends up divorcing their super-gay husband a couple of years later. That was probably a fluke and not a curse. First up, was there a wedding? Was it a sham? MSNBC weighs in:
There’s a ring and rumors of a small ceremony, but is there really a marriage between Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon? Maybe not, said a source who knows Mariah.
“The lady loves publicity. She’s also got a good sense of humor. If no one gets hurt, why wouldn’t she let the rumors swirl a little while longer and maybe help sales?” said the source.
And the pair's families can't quite get their stories straight either. Take it away TMZ:
Exhibit A: Mariah's nephew says not very cryptically on his Facebook page, as Us reports, that "what you may or may not have read or heard is not true," even though he says he was in the Bahamas. Exhibit B: Nick's fam "confirms" the "news," claiming that he told them he's married.
And if they are married, it looks like Mimi didn't learn any lessons from Paul McCartney, reports The New York Post:
"There was no pre-nup - there wasn't time," said another worried source.
And because we know that all you're really interested in is what the kids in 1890 referred to as "bling," on to the jewelery, via People:
The ring, jeweler Jacob & Co. confirmed to PEOPLE, is crafted from platinum and features a square, emerald-cut fancy light pink diamond in the center, surrounded by 58 intense pink diamonds, flanked by two half-moon diamonds. The total carat weight of the ring – the center stone alone is 10 carats – is a jaw-dropping 17 carats, with a value of $2.5 million.
Though some have speculated that Carey's ring is the same one Cannon gave to his former fiancée, Victoria's Secret model Seltia Ebanks, Ebanks's ring was 12 carats and made of colorless diamonds.
If that's the case, then Nick Cannon is about as creative as Nickelback, because those suckers sure look an awful lot a like. (See, 'cause Nickelback has been writing the same song for ten years, and Nick Cannon . . . designed the . . . same ring . . . twice? Oh, shut up. You come up with a better joke, tough guy. We bet it would go a little something like this: "Mariah and married both start with the letter M. And M's kind of look like boobs. HAHAHAHA!" Good job, Mr. Comedian.)
NOTE: The man in the above photo with Mimi is NOT Nick Cannon, though this whole story would be a hell of a lot more interesting if Mariah were possibly married to a homeless man in a wheelchair. Sorry, Nick, but you're super boring in comparison. And in general too. more »
Our Mimi is going to be a bride! And this time she won't be marrying a creepy old rich dude who will make her a star but keep her in a very glittery cage but instead a young upstart of unknown financial means! The upside to Mariah having to forfeit some of her cherished closet space? We took this chance to look up Nick Cannon on Wikipedia and finally know why he's famous. He was on All That! Just like that guy on SNL. And the other one. Anyway, Access Hollywood reports:
It appears Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are ready to make beautiful music together.
A source close to Mariah has confirmed to Access Hollywood that the music diva is engaged to Nick Cannon.
Reps for both singers were unavailable for comment.
The couple sent the rumor mill into overdrive when 38-year-old Mariah (with Nick on her arm) was seen sporting a dazzling new piece of bling on her ring finger at the after party for her Tribeca film, “Tennessee,” in New York.
When asked at the party what he loved about Mariah, 27-year-old Nick gave a one-word answer.
“Everything,” he told People.
Up until recently, Mariah had been romantically linked to music executive Mark Sudack. However, she never confirmed the romance.
Mariah was previously married to record executive Tommy Mottola from 1993 – 1998.
Nick was previously engaged to Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks in 2007. However, the couple called off the engagement that same year.
This will be the first marriage for the “Drumline” star.
We can picture it now: Mariah will be swathed in a yard or so of the finest fabric known to man, surrounded by rare purple orchids, and after the couple's first marital kiss, a million fluttering butterflies will swarm around them. Then the butterflies will eat Nick alive for stealing their master. Either that, or Nick will just use all the crap he bought for his canceled wedding. According to Hollywood Grind:
Mariah’s engagement ring was previously on Nick’s former fiance’s finger, Vctoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks, in 2007. Same ring, different girl. Nick doesn’t want his investment going to waste.
We doubt Mariah ever even wears her clothes twice, and those were on her body. She will not be pleased with a ring that touched the skin of some sub-semi-famous underwear model. more »
Carmen Electra is continuing her quest to out-Pam-Anderson Pam Anderson by preparing to take on her third husband. We hope her wedding-day attire will be as inspired as Pam's. Reports People:
Carmen Electra is engaged to her boyfriend, guitarist Rob Patterson, her rep Jill Fritzo confirms to PEOPLE.
"He told friends three days ago that he got engaged," adds a source. "The ring is a black diamond set in white diamonds."
Patterson, 37, who is the former touring guitarist for Korn, popped the question over the weekend while he and Electra were in Las Vegas to celebrate her 36th birthday, says the source. The couple have been dating less than a year.
This will be the third marriage for the actress-model, who was previously wed to rocker Dave Navarro and, briefly, to NBA star Dennis Rodman.
Touring guitarist? Carmen sure is moving down the washed-up-rock-s