filed under: Camila Alves

When contemplating what stories to cover this morning, we thought, "Eh, who cares about girls in bikinis or which drug won out in Amy Winehouse's nightly intoxication lottery? We want to hear Matthew McConaughey talking about his newborn son's wiener!" So here you have Mr. JK Livin' with his son, Levi, and high-tech incubation machine, Camila Alves, on the cover of OK! magazine. Notice the look of joy on Camila's face, Matthew's stoic pride, and little Levi's eager-to-please enthusiasm for life. Oh, did we say life? We meant weed. Enthusiasm for weed. It's as if the trio was playing a little puff-puff-give while the photographer set up the snap and the joint had to be cruelly yanked from between McConaughey the younger's lips just seconds before the flash went off. But accompanying this heartwarming profitable family portrait is an even better interview with typical McConaughey nuggets. Some highlights:

• "Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music."
• "We ended up having an epidural because, on the large contractions, the umbilical cord was being compressed. They went in and tried the vacuum. This is where I learned — and no one tells you this — but having a baby is a bloody, pukey, sweaty, primeval thing! And I mean that as a beautiful thing. It is wild. But the vacuum didn't work, and the doctor said, 'C-section.'"
• "I said, 'Come here, little man. I saw the pecker and screamed that we'd been right all along about him being a boy. Then I brought him over to her [Camila].'"

The one thing we think when we encounter interviews with Matthew McConaughey is, "Why can't he be more open? He's just so guarded." We're guessing the full OK! interview holds a description of what a dilated vagina looks like close up.

And just because we can, here's the trailer for Matthew's upcoming cinematic masterpiece Surfer, Dude. We think Matt, Woody Harrelson, and Willie Nelson probably got together one day to concoct a way to make the moviegoing experience truly special by constructing each movie ticket entirely out of weed. But someone probably pulled out the bong before this theatrical marvel could be fully planned out. What a loss.

Hold onto your Huggies, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban, there's a charming new stud in town. Welcome to the world, Baby Boy McConaughey! That's right--golden-bronzed bongo bopper Matthew McConaughey took the toothbrush out of his mouth long enough to help his girlfriend, model Camila Alves, deliver their first child yesterday. US Weekly gives a few more details:

Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves welcomed their first child into the world Monday afternoon in Los Angeles. Alves gave birth to the as-yet-unnamed baby at 6:22 p.m. local time weighing 7 lb., 4 oz.

The baby was reportedly born with sweet abs, wearing Jamz. In lieu of stogies, McCon passed around an "It's a boy!' gravity bong.

UPDATE: The little dude has a name. Mac and Camila released the following statement:

"We welcome Levi Alves McConaughey into this wonderful life and look forward to living in it with him. In the mean time and all times, just keep livin'."

—Matthew David McConaughey and Camila Maria Saraiva de Araujo Alves

And now we know: What to Expect When You're Expecting does not have a chapter on not using your movie character's catchphrases in your baby's birth announcement.

We're guessing that Matthew McConaughey's full o' fetus female friend Camila Alves doesn't expect Matt to stay home nights knitting baby booties and watching America's Got Talent. That's just not his style. So she's probably not all that surprised to hear about him L-I-V-I-N it up in Nicaragua dancing with girls and bellyaching about his lost flip flop. She's more likely sad that she wasn't around to help in the search. We hear she's got a nose like McGruff. The New York Daily News reports of Matt's good time:

Tip No. 1 from Matthew McConaughey's guide for fathers-to-be: Don't let your lady's pregnancy stop you from partying down with other ladies.

Never mind that his Brazilian model girlfriend, Camila Alves, is due to give birth next month. A mighty thirsty McConaughey had to be helped out of a Nicaraguan bar the other night after dancing with an assortment of babes, says a witness.

The "Sahara" star headed there to surf, but ended up on June 6 at a cantina called the Iguana in San Juan Del Sur. Perhaps his wave-riding left him exhausted. McConaughey was said to have been seen later resting in a ditch.

Recharged, McConaughey was back at the Iguana the next night for more fun. A female patron, who gave her name as Amber Poe, says he laid his considerable charm on her and her roommate — but lost his cool when he couldn't find his flip-flops. "He stood on a table, screaming in broken Spanish, ‘I've lost my flip-flops,'" says Poe.

When he realized one lady was taking pictures of his antics, a heavy-lidded McConaughey grabbed her camera, says Poe. Later, she says, he tried to kiss her.

McConaughey denies any untoward advances but admits imbibing. "Drunk?" he told us via e-mail. "Absolutely. Nicaragua is a beautiful place, epic waves, the best surfing I have ever been on. And yes, I'm STILL looking for my left flip-flop. So if anyone finds it floating around down there (it has 6:22 stitched into the side), please send it my way. There is a reward."

We are furiously researching Matteo's shoe size and trying to figure out how to stitch into rubber, because we just KNOW that Matthew's idea of a reward is letting you sit in on his naked bongo session and passing the doobie every couple of minutes. Which we'd definitely take over a crisp twenty any day.

And in case Matthew's missing-flip-flop reward isn't enough for you, Star magazine gets into flirting details, complete with drunken pics.

Your wedding and baby photos: You pay $3.79 at the Walgreens photo kiosk for a stack of glossy 8x10s. Famous people's wedding and baby photos: Magazines pay them millions of dollars to run the images for the whole world to see. That hard-won managerial position at Hot Topic seemed like a pretty sweet gig last week, didn't it? But to think, if only you were Pete Wentz, People magazine would pay you $1 million to show off your MySpace hair on their pages. That's a sweet gig. TMZ reports:

At least someone cares enough to pay cold hard cash for pregnant bride Ashlee Simpson's wedding pics!

Sources tell us People mag is shelling out "well over" one milllll-ion dollars (yes, as in seven figures) for pictures of Ash and guylinered Pete Wentz. That's probably more than she's made -- total -- from her "singing."

For their part, the mag says, "We're thrilled that celebrities continue to choose PEOPLE as the place to share their most intimate photos. We do not comment on specifics of any deals."

That's a lot of money to see some guy in a ripped up hoodie and skinny jeans mumble "Yeah sure" in response to "Do you take this woman . . . "

Also raking in the big bucks for doing a whole bunch of nothing: Matthew McConaughey. TMZ again:

Matthew McConaughey and baby mama Camila Alves are busy doing what all expectant parents do -- fielding million dollar offers for pictures of their kid!

TMZ has learned that McConaughey has hired "brand agent" Todd Shemarya -- who's already brokered deals for Brangelina and Xtina -- to help pull in some serious dough for photos of his child. So far, Mattyboy's gotten offers from three different publications -- EACH OVER A MILLION BUCKS! And the price is still climbing.

No word if the baby is a boy or girl -- but either way it's gonna be a cash cow. What happened to the bongo drumming, "just keep living" McConaughey we all knew and loved? Guess he's got to find some way to keep paying for all those shirts -- ya know, the ones he never wears.

The propmaster for the photo shoot may have her work cut out for her, as we're sure little Bud McC will have a toothbrush in one hand and a tallboy in the other. It will be so precious to see how much the little one takes after Daddy.

You remember that girl in your high school who got knocked up junior year and ended up naming the kid Boone because "the little fucker wouldn't exist if it weren't for Strawberry Hill" and then thanked Jeebus that her loser ex-boyfriend couldn't afford Jager? That girl should set up a play date with Matthew McConaughey's forthcoming spawn, who's set to be named after Matt's favorite beer. Our personal brewmaster, FemaleFirst, reports:

Matthew McConaughey wants to name his unborn son after his favourite beer.

The 'Fool's Gold' star - who is expecting his first baby with girlfriend Camila Alves - is planning to pay tribute to his beloved alcoholic beverage, just like his brother.

A source close to the actor said: "Matthew's older brother Michael named his second son Miller Lyte because he loved the beer so much. And Matthew loved the name so much he really wants to name his son after his favourite beer. He is thinking of going for Bud after Budweiser beer."

However, Brazilian model Camila is less than impressed with his choice of name.

The source added: "Camila is pretty old-fashioned. She hates the name and won't let Matthew push her into this."

Miller f'ing Lyte? Seriously? Not Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, or Bartles Jaymes? After that, Matthew's suggestion of Bud seems a bit lame. But ultimately we're disappointed that Matteo has overlooked some of the best baby-naming possibilities. Why not J.K. Livin' McConaughey? Or for a real mindblower, why not Bong O. McConaughey? It works on so many levels and brings Matthew's two true loves together in nomenclatural form.

Just like your 35-year-old spinster sister, Hollywood is baby crazy. We're beginning to think that Governor Arnold secretly passed a law that every showbiz personality must spawn by the year 2010 or be forced to spend two years working the craft services table. Jennifer Aniston better start prepping her uterus, because we hear she's a mess with a chafing dish. more »

In today's "Preposterous rumor, but it's a slow news day so what the hell" news, Matthew McConaughey was spotted walking with his girlfriend, a model named Camilla Alves. And he was wearing a ring on his left hand, so folks are automatically saying that the couple were secretly married. We don't know about you guys, but if we got married and wanted to keep it a secret, we probably would not wear a ring on our wedding finger. Then again, this is Matthew McConaughey, who is not exactly known for his towering intellect or ability to pull one over on the little people. He probably tried to leave the house in a full tuxedo with top hat and tails, empty cans on streamers tied to his belt loops and a "Just Married" sign on his back, saying, "Look, secret wife! I am in dusk-guys! I'm going to shield my face from view with this marriage certificate! No one will ever know!"