filed under: Brian Austin Green

Megan Fox knows that she can make men do just about anything. Make her loverman ditch his beloved pooch just because she wants newer, fluffier ones? Sure thing. Make hoards of male viewers pay to see a movie written by Diablo Cody just because she maybe might be sorta kinda naked in it? Of course. Make any man shove a broken PBR bottle up his ass just because she thinks she might find it amusing? Probably. First, about the bitch (via Celebitchy):

Megan Fox has fiance Brian Austin Green on such a short leash that she’s forced him to give up his best friend - his beloved dog Macy!

“Megan claimed she felt threatened by Macy, but that dog was a sweetheart. She wouldn’t hurt a fly,” divulged an insider.

“Brian adored Macy and refused to give her up for the longest time, but Megan nagged him about it until he finally gave in. He was crushed.”

[Brian] adopted 3-year-old Macy, a mastiff-pit bull mix, when she was 3 months old - around the same time he and Megan, 22, began living together, according to sources.

After adopting the dog, 35 year-old Brian enrolled her in rigorous training courses at the Hollywood Dog Training School…

“Macy was really mellow and well-behaved,” the source added. “Whenever Brian went out of town he’d board Macy at the training school.

“The trainers were shocked when Brian’s assistant came in one day and said Brian was being forced to give Macy up for adoption because Megan didn’t get along with her.”

Right after Brian gave Macy up for adoption, Megan adopted two tiny dogs.

We're pretty sure BAG would cut off his own nads with a pair of pinking shears if Megan asked him to, so this doesn't surprise us. What does surprise us? We won't see even a sliver of Megan's maracas in the upcoming flick Jennifer's Body, as that pasties-and-flesh-colored-panties scene so lovingly captured by the paps a few months ago has been cut. Also cut? Men's nads. From their bodies. With pinking shears. At least that's what it feels like knowing Megan Fox naked is now even farther out of reach. more »

• Megan Fox straps her camel toe into some stretch pants for a shopping excursion. (Faded Youth)

• And speaking of Megan Fox, her former(?) fiance Brian Austin Green denies the breakup rumors, says the couple are "solid". Solid as a rock? So nothing's changed it? And what you're saying is that the feeling's still hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hot? (PopCrunch)

• The first look at Jamie Lynn Spears's little baby, Maddie Briann. Maddie's next OK! cover: in thirteen years, when she marries cousin Sean Preston in a romantic toothless ceremony in Louisiana. (Dlisted)

• David Lee Roth choked on some nuts. (TMZ)

• Dane Cook is a shitty neighbor, literally. (Celebitchy)

• Robert Rodriguez traded his wife in for Rose McGowan, and is now trading Rose McGowan for Kat Dennings. Next up: he trades Kat Dennings for Abigail Breslin. (Defamer)

• Jennifer Lopez in a bikini. Post-twins, her abs are still flatter than yours, and her ass is still bigger than the sun. (Flisted)

• Lilo and SamRo ride the pink caterpillar at Disneyland. Ohhhh yeaaaaah. (Holy Taco)

• See Jaime Pressly in a bikini and you'll be nothin' but a horn dog. Eh? Yes? No? Bah. (IDLYITW)

• New Paris Hilton TV show in the works. And no, sadly, it's not a Fear Factor type show involving a rocket sending her to the surface of the moon to see how long she can hold her breath. (Hollywire)

When you're the bitchy rival in a little-seen Lindsay Lohan joint that features a mash-up of Eliza Doolittle and David Bowie (seriously), getting engaged to a former teen soap star/once aspiring white rapper seems like a good idea, a possible career boost. But once you've starred in a huge Michael Bay movie opposite Shia TheBeef and roughly 99.99999% of earth's human population wants to touch your yabbos (Clay Aiken would rather give her a firm handshake and compliment her talent, out of respect), it's time to ditch the loser. Which is precisely what Megan Fox did. According to Contact Music:

TRANSFORMERS star MEGAN FOX has reportedly called off her engagement to actor fiance BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN.

Sources claim the pretty brunette, 22, sent business associates correspondence last week (beg23Jun08) alerting them to the sad news.

An insider says, "Megan still cares about Brian, but she now realises she's too young to marry him."

This girl's got brains! We see her career going in a whole new direction now. And we don't mean that whole next-Angelina-Jolie thing she's being saddled with. We see her more filling the shoes of recently-departed-from-television Montel Williams. She would be the perfect person to say, "Honey, get rid of him, he's a loser. Your next boyfriend needs to have three things: 1) a job, 2) a lock on the liquor cabinet, and 3) a full set of teeth." Although we're not sure if she has any experience administering paternity tests, so maybe that career path isn't a well-thought-out option. more »

We've long wondered why America's Next Sexiest Sexy Lady Megan Fox was engaged to Brian Austin Green. Turns out that Megan has long wondered that, too, and on the set of her new movie, she's been acting suspiciously BAGless. According to Star:

An insider on the set of Megan's movie Jennifer's Body says that the 22-year-old didn't act like she was taken. "I've never seen her wearing an engagement ring. I actually thought she and Adam Brody, who's also in the movie, were dating. They were very flirty with each other and were always hanging out together when they weren't working." But her good pal, actress Jennifer Blanc, tells Star that despite her leaving the rock at home, Megan is indeed still engaged. "She does wear it sometimes," insists Jennifer. "I've never asked her why she doesn't always put it on."

Brian Austin Green aka David Silver. Adam Brody aka Seth Cohen. Sounds like old Megan has a type: resident dork on FOX show. Well hell, Meg, if we had known that we would have shown up to your house in costume as that wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle ages ago. more »

Brian Austin Green. Let's review the facts. He was the geekiest and most annoying character on a show full of really irritating people (Although, if memory serves, he was the originator of The Peach Pit After Dark, which might make him a genius). He had a (thankfully) failed rap career. He's easily confused with David Faustino, even if he does have half a foot on little Bud Bundy. His biggest accomplishment in the past ten years has been costarring in Freddie Prinze Jr.'s sitcom, which was so unwatched we weren't even aware of it's existence. He's dating a super hot 21-year-old with terrible tattoos. Which one of those doesn't quite fit? Could it be the last one? Are you wondering how such a pairing works? Easy. She's a demanding shrew and he's a weak little pussy. According to Bauer-Griffin Online:

At approximately 2:00pm at Daily grill in Studio City 90210 ex-star Brian Austin Green was dining with a male friend on the patio.

Our sources, who were seated at the next table, overheard an emotional Green ranting for over a hour about his troubled relationship with actress Megan Fox, who rocketed to stardom after last year's mega-hit blockbuster movie Transformers.

He began comparing Megan to the girl that he had been going out with before her who he'd broken up with for Fox, saying that Fox is behaving just like her. Apparently, the 21-year-old Transformer star is extremely set in her ways. The entire relationship was based on her terms, beginning with a "white board," upon which the pair would document the amount of time allotted to their relationship, family, and work. Green strove to maintain a fifty percent balance between time spent each other, and time spent apart. Fox, however, would sneak behind his back and erase planned dates with Green in order to have more time away from him. In fact, she would regularly cancel plans at the last moment, often by text. Throughout their turbulent relationship, Fox would threaten to get her lawyer involved in their disputes, while Green expressed his shock to his friend as he has never had a personal attorney in his "entire" life. He complained animatedly about how "unfair" their relationship was.

The obviously heart-broken Green went on to say that the young actress and budding star could never sit still and couldn't stand silence yet would moon in bed all day when they had a fight.

After ragging on Fox for close to an hour, the two men realized that the people at the table next to them might have overheard everything they said. Green seemed nervous and his friend asked the other diners if they had been eavesdropping because "that would be really bad." Looks like Fox has finally moved on!

God, she's sounds like a pill. Does she draw up a pre-sex diagram, complete with second-by-second instructions regarding how often he has to tweak her nipples and how many thrusts he has to complete before he can finish?