filed under: Benicio Del Toro

• Joanna Krupa gets naked for Maxim. Maxim-um mammage. (The Blemish)

• Mr. Skin asks: who's the hottest dame in a superhero movie? (Mr. Skin)

• Beauty and the Undereye Bags: Catherine Keener is porking Benicio del Toro. (Hollyscoop)

• Shia the Beef will not have to have his pinky amputated. So. Uh. Great, we guess. (Celebitchy)

• 46-21-55. Kim Kardashian in a bikini. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Kate Moss switched lives with her nanny for a day. Which marks the first time Kate has seen her child since its birth. Awww. (Female First)

• Jessica Alba humps a chair like her name was Nomi Malone. (Cityrag)

• Jessica Simpson strips for Tony Romo via webcam. Haw, like we're supposed to believe Jessica Simpson knows how to turn a computer on? (peanut gallery: "Well, she sure know how to turn ME on! Ahahahaha!") (Holy Taco)

• Sienna Miller's friends maintain that she did not wreck Balthazar Getty's marriage. She just stuck a knife in its already rotting corpse and twisted it around and then cut off its head is all. (CelebWarship)

• Morgan Freeman and his wife split. We blame Sienna Miller. (Daily Stab)

Shocker! Of! The! Century! Lindsay Lohan does coke. Oh, and she humps lots of boys too. We may never recover from our shattered illusions. When we're ninety and sipping a creamed corn and mashed potato smoothie on the lanai in our nursing home, we will utter our first words in sixty years: "Can't believe . . . Lindsay does coke." Then we will fall off our rattan chair, never to wake, never having recovered from the great shock of May 2007. more »

You've got to admire a chippie like Lindsay Lohan. Rumored to be dating Jared Leto and Sean Lennon, she's now also been linked to Ryan Adams and Benicio Del Toro. Not even a tragic teacup accident can slow this girl's vagina down. more »

Penelope Cruz and her mother found themselves in a bit of a jam at the Cannes Film Festival, when they were riding in an elevator and it suddenly shut down. Actor Benicio del Toro was on hand to save them . . . right after he sweatily humped them both. more »

We just conducted an informal poll around the CelebNewsWire offices, and 9 out of 10 staffers simply cannot recall if they've had sex with Scarlett Johansson. Which is just one more thing we have in common with Benicio Del Toro, in addition to our exotic good looks and all those Oscars we've won. more »