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filed under: Ben Affleck
July 18, 2008
Jennifer Garner Incubating Another Spawn
It seems that the press has had their fingers crossed that Jennifer Garner had another Fleck in her baby maker pretty much since little Violet was crowning. Well, it looks like they've finally got their wish, as Jen is reportedly all full o' fetus once again. Reports Us Weekly: Jennifer Garner and husband Ben Affleck are expecting another baby, Garners former Alias co-star Victor Garber confirms to Usmagazine.com.That Garber sure does have a big mouth. We're sure that right after he spilled the beans he said, "See, I'm worth talking to, Mr. Reporterman. I know famous people. They tell me secrets. And I'll tell you everything, if you watch my show, Eli Stone. Katie Holmes is going to be on it. She's famous. And Jonny Lee Miller! He was married to Angelina Jolie. She's famous too! Do you want to know about her babies? Because I know. I'm hip." more »
"Yes, she is," Garber, who currently stars on ABC's Eli Stone, told Us in a taped interview when asked if recent speculation was true that the couple is expecting.
(Garber officiated the couple's 2005 wedding.)
A source adds, "She is five months pregnant. They are very happy."
Garner, 36, and Affleck, 35, are parents to two-year-old daughter Violet - one of Us' Babies of the Year.
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May 13, 2008
Jennifer Lopez: Career Killer
The video for "Jenny from the Block" was a lot of things. A pretty awesome jam. Where we learned that it takes hard work to cash checks. A good place to ogle Jennifer Lopez's ass and bare stomach. The downfall of Ben Affleck. Wait, what? Entertainmentwise reports: Ben Affleck credits starring in then-fiancee Jennifer Lopezs Jenny From The Block video with nearly ruining his career.True, Ben Affleck's career had some high points before the video and some low points after it, but let's just take a look at some of Fleck's credits prior to "Jenny from the Block": Armageddon. Forces of Nature. Dogma. Reindeer Games. Bounce. Changing Lanes. Sure, J.Lo can shoulder some of the responsibility for Gigli and Jersey Girl and even Paycheck, but the rest were all you, old boy. Once a shitty-movie-maker always a shitty-movie-maker. Ain't no broad gonna change that. more »
The actor who began dating the Latina singer in 2002 featured prominently in the promo, and at one point is seen rubbing sun tan lotion onto Lopez's bottom.
The couple's high-profile romance went on to provoke a tabloid backlash, culminating in the 2003 box office flop Gigli.
And the actor is now convinced that bringing his personal life into the spotlight was damaging to his career.
He says, "If I have a big regret, it was doing the music video. But that happened years ago. I've moved on."
But Affleck insists he isn't blaming Lopez for his career nosedive: "It not only makes me look like a petulant fool (to blame Lopez), but it surely qualifies as ungentlemanly? For the record, did she hurt my career? No."
The pair became engaged in 2002 but called off their relationship in 2003.
April 11, 2008
Ms. Pammy Goes To Washington
Sometimes celebrities and politics mix just fine. Ben Affleck seems to have a genuine interest and know just a little bit more than Barack Obama's favorite color. Sonny Bono did a fine job as far as we can tell. But sometimes it's best for celebs to stick to things like slapping their name on a new brand of perfume or not-so-discreetly leaking nude photos of themselves to the press. Because if we were a foreign dignitary and we popped into the White House for a frank chat on foreign policy and we saw a red carpet outside with Pam Anderson, Perez Hilton, and some chick from Laguna Hills or whichever, we'd probably hightail back to our home country and promptly ready an A-bomb. Us Weekly reports: The Hills' Lauren Conrad and Pamela Anderson are among the celebs on the list to attend the White House Press Correspondents Association Dinner on April 26, Usmagazine.com has confirmed.We wonder if Pam and Lauren will get to really tough questions at the event, like, "When will this horrible war in Iran end?" and "On a scale of one to ten, how dreamy is Barack Obama?" more »
Like Conrad, blogger (and enemy) Perez Hilton, another attendee, will be a guest of the Bloomberg financial network.
They could hobnob with Ben Affleck, Eric Dane, Tim Daly, Hayden Panettiere and Marcia Cross all of whom are also on the list, a Correspondents rep tells Us.
Started in 1920, the WHCA's annual dinner has become a Washington, D.C. tradition and is usually attended by the President and Vice President.
September 11, 2006
The Whole World's Topsy-Turvy: Fleck Wins Acting Award
As the Venice Film Festival wraps up, the powers-that-be are handing out awards to honor the festival's best and brightest, and the top acting honors went to Helen Mirren and Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck? more »
September 08, 2006
Fleck Cops a Feel
Here we thought we had Ben Affleck pegged. He's a washed up actor who was effortlessly upstaged by a seven-year-old in Please Stop Making Movies, Kevin Smith (Or was that one called Jersey Girl? We can't remember.) and by a shovel in Surviving Christmas, and in his personal life he tags along carrying little Violet in the Baby Bjorn while his wife calls the shots, and he tries to get away for a ball game or a round of poker when the wife lets go of his balls. All in all rather a boring chap. But today he's just full of surprises. more »
May 31, 2006
CNW Junk Drawer: "You're So [Bleeping] Retarded!"
Michelle Rodriguez is out of jail again, and she says, "I'm moving to France... People don't bother you there." Which we take to mean "The pigs don't hassle me when I kick back a carafe of red wine and then go for a spin in a Renault." Ooh la la!
Thank you, Mira Sorvino, for giving your new son a normal name. Teach your Hollywood brethren, Mira Sorvino. Show them the way.
No link here, but seriously: When was the last time we saw Britney and Kevin together? Just wondering.
Robin Tunney is pretty. Robin Tunney has a nipple. Pretty Robin Tunney shows us her nipple.
Christina Aguilera's husband, proboscis monkey Jordan Bratman, won't let his wife pose topless. What a brat, man.
No, no, the old saying isn't "Mom, baseball, and apple pie." It's "baseball, braces, and Alyssa Milano's pokies."
Mariah Carey: That tomato's got billion dollah pegs, I tells ya.
Ben Affleck rushed to the hospital because of a headache. The rest of us rushed to the hospital because we just heard the name Ben Affleck.
Mischa Barton calls her mother "retarded." Yeah, but who's the one who willingly had sexual congress with Brandon Davis? Huh? Huh??? Who's retarded now, Mischa? Who's retarded now????
Thank you, Mira Sorvino, for giving your new son a normal name. Teach your Hollywood brethren, Mira Sorvino. Show them the way.
No link here, but seriously: When was the last time we saw Britney and Kevin together? Just wondering.
Robin Tunney is pretty. Robin Tunney has a nipple. Pretty Robin Tunney shows us her nipple.
Christina Aguilera's husband, proboscis monkey Jordan Bratman, won't let his wife pose topless. What a brat, man.
No, no, the old saying isn't "Mom, baseball, and apple pie." It's "baseball, braces, and Alyssa Milano's pokies."
Mariah Carey: That tomato's got billion dollah pegs, I tells ya.
Ben Affleck rushed to the hospital because of a headache. The rest of us rushed to the hospital because we just heard the name Ben Affleck.
Mischa Barton calls her mother "retarded." Yeah, but who's the one who willingly had sexual congress with Brandon Davis? Huh? Huh??? Who's retarded now, Mischa? Who's retarded now????
March 29, 2006
CNW Junk Drawer: "Be Silent and Make All Physical Movements Slow"
Large billboards instructing Katie Holmes to make like a silent, slow-moving three-toed sloth arrive at the Cruisian birth chamber. Chilling.
And, according to the headline at FemaleFirst, she's about to deliver a bouncing baby iPod.
Pam Mamderson is getting a little long in the tooth, and realizes that it isn't proper for mature women to bare their breasts. Instead, they wear see-through shirts. How positively demure!
Star Jones babbles about her new boob job, Joy Behar tells her to shut her fat mouth, Star responds by calling Joy a bitch. Finally, a reason to watch The View.
With those new fake lips, Jessica Simpson really makes an excellent Real Doll.
Whoops, scratch that. Actually, Christina Aguilera makes the better inflatable hump toy.
Madonna learns how to . . . c'mon! Krump! Let your body move to the music! Krump! Krump! Let your body go with the flow!
Spawn of Affleck . . . revealed! Wait, where are its little horns, its eensy cloven feet?
And, according to the headline at FemaleFirst, she's about to deliver a bouncing baby iPod.
Pam Mamderson is getting a little long in the tooth, and realizes that it isn't proper for mature women to bare their breasts. Instead, they wear see-through shirts. How positively demure!
Star Jones babbles about her new boob job, Joy Behar tells her to shut her fat mouth, Star responds by calling Joy a bitch. Finally, a reason to watch The View.
With those new fake lips, Jessica Simpson really makes an excellent Real Doll.
Whoops, scratch that. Actually, Christina Aguilera makes the better inflatable hump toy.
Madonna learns how to . . . c'mon! Krump! Let your body move to the music! Krump! Krump! Let your body go with the flow!
Spawn of Affleck . . . revealed! Wait, where are its little horns, its eensy cloven feet?
January 03, 2006
Ben Affleck Kisses Diapers! No, Wait. Ben Affleck BUYS Diapers with Kisses.
Ben Affleck found himself in a bit of a bind recently when he went to a convenience store to buy diapers and, after finding he was short on cash, was forced to kiss a fan so she'd pay for the Huggies. That reminds us of the time we went to buy Scotch tape and forgot our wallet so we had to kiss a fan. Only it wasn't Scotch tape, it was Vagisil. And it wasn't a fan, it was a homeless man. And it wasn't a kiss, it was anal sex. more »
December 02, 2005
Baby Affleck Is Here! Baby Affleck Is Here!
Jennifer Garner, who has seriously been pregnant for over two years, finally belched that wee babe out of her Fleck-tainted womb yesterday. It's a girl, and they have reportedly named her Violet Affleck. Violent Affect. Violate Afflack. Violin Affluence. Silent Chaffsex. Pilates Calf-flex. more »
November 30, 2005
Daredevil and Elektra Say, "Drink Your Buckies!"
Jennifer Garner is still all kinds of full of baby, even though it seems she's been pregnant since the Carter administration. Our money was on the tyke popping out at the Thanksgiving table. "It's coming right now, there's no time for an ambulance! Just throw the turkey on the floor and splay her out on the dining room table. The pumpkin pie will make a nice pillow." It just sounds like a Ben Affleck movie, doesn't it? But at this point the kid has been in there so long maybe it can hang on until Christmas and our prophecy can still be fulfilled. In the meantime we'll tell you about Jen and Ben actually getting paid to carry around those venti caramel-mint-mocha-toothacheacinos you pay $4.95 for. more »
September 27, 2005
Senator Fleck?
Sonny Bono, Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzenegger . . . Ben Affleck? God help us, but its being reported that Fleck might run for a Senate seat. Were moving to Italy, because we think were better off with Cicciolina. more »
August 26, 2005
CNW Junk Drawa: Hookups and Hairdos
Natalie Portman: Last of the Mohicans.
Dear Russell Crowe: PLEASE PUNCH US. WE NEED THE CASH.
Scar-Jo and Josh Hartnett (Jo-Ho?) move in together! Eh, it's destined to fail. "Scarlett Hartnett" just sounds so douchey.
Fleck's million-pound pits.
Annie Hall is porking Ted "Theodore" Logan.
Ohhhh, when Keef says Mick has a laughably tiny weenis, that's supposed to be a compliment. We see, we see.
Does a rapper sire twelve billion babies and have two wives? Mos Def!
Dear Russell Crowe: PLEASE PUNCH US. WE NEED THE CASH.
Scar-Jo and Josh Hartnett (Jo-Ho?) move in together! Eh, it's destined to fail. "Scarlett Hartnett" just sounds so douchey.
Fleck's million-pound pits.
Annie Hall is porking Ted "Theodore" Logan.
Ohhhh, when Keef says Mick has a laughably tiny weenis, that's supposed to be a compliment. We see, we see.
Does a rapper sire twelve billion babies and have two wives? Mos Def!
July 28, 2005
J. Lo Gets Depressed, Damns Gods of Fertility
Jennifer is sad. And for once were not talking about Jennifer Aniston. Rather Jennifer Lopez got bummed the fuck out when a reporter for Elle magazine asked her about Ben Afflecks new marriage and incubating spawn. more »
July 01, 2005
Garner and Affleck Become One
Bennifer II is now official! Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have been joined together in connubial bliss. They were married Wednesday on a beach on the Turks and Caicos island. Goddammit, another celebrity wedding outsourced to an exotic foreign locale. The American wedding industry has taken such a huge hit this year that John Cougar Mellencamp is organizing a benefit concert as we speak. Rain on the scarecrow, blood on the aisle? more »
May 09, 2005
Welcome to the World, Baby GarFleck!
It's (sort of) official: Jennifer Garner is carrying a big ol' hunk of Ben Affleck's love seed. Commence with the shotgun wedding and the Star polls asking readers to decide whether the offspring should be named Bubba or Daredevil. more »
May 03, 2005
Seed of Affleck Rears Ugly Head Again
Hey, remember when everyone (including ourselves) was flappin' gums about Jennifer Garner possibly gestating the Spawn of Fleck? Neither do we. Because it was boring. And then Britney got knocked up, and Demi, and then Brad/Jen/Angelina happened, and then Paris was hacked, and . . . well, we just plum forgot. But now Jennifer is starting to show, or, as Star would say, "sporting a baby bump". Ooooh? Or . . . something? more »
April 19, 2005
Those Who Can't, Teach: Ben Affleck.
Yay! Yayyyyyyyy! Wahoo! Hey, everyone! HOORAY AND HUZZAH!
Why are we celebrating, you ask? Because Ben Affleck has decided to pursue a different vocation! He's going to be a teacher! No more Daredevils! No more Paychecks! Oh, we're as giddy as a spoiled Victorian child on Christmas Day! more »
April 18, 2005
Affleck to Make an Honest Woman of Garner. Maybe. Maybe Not.
It's been reported that Ben Affleck maybe, sort of, probably, most likely proposed to Jennifer Garner yesterday. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . Oops, sorry. Did we just fall asleep? more »
April 14, 2005
Ben Affleck For Rent
Hollywood bloat-bag-turned-director Ben Affleck has auctioned himself off for charity. And someone actually paid $28,300 for the pleasure of his presence. If we don't finish this story, don't worry; we've just retreated to the bomb shelter that we built in case we thought the world was about to end. more »
December 16, 2004
Jen Garner: With Child, or Just Fat
Could Bennifer Part Two be expecting a baby? Star seems to think so. Jennifer Garner has been spotted multiple times recently trying to cover up what might be a baby "bump". The Alias star seems to have filled out around the stomach and hips, typical for expecting mothers, and has been trying to cover it with such clever disguises as extra-long scarves. All that spy work seems to have taught her a trick or two. more »
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