CelebNewsWire - The skinny. The scoop. The Hollywood poop. Wherever there is a nipple slip, we'll be there. If there's a party, you'll find us doing shots with Lindsay Lohan and upskirt flashing alongside Britney Spears. Wherever Paris Hilton is breaking the law, you'll see us. If there's a celebrity sex tape, we will find it. Nude stars, drunk stars, scandals, hookups, breakups? Let CelebNewsWire be your guide. Hold our hands. Come inside.
Today we read a list of stars' rider demands for the VMAs and wondered: what, exactly, would happen if Kid Rock's yogurts were full fat? What would go down if Christina Aguilera's candles were presented with a lighter instead of a pack of matches? Would these singers be thrown into a tailspin and rendered unable to perform? Would they wither and die like hothouse flowers? Here's In Touch Weekly's list (via Celebitchy) of who needed what at the VMAs:
Christina Aguilera
- 1 large boom box that plays CDs, no alarm clock stereos
- 1 full length mirror
- 1 space heater
- 1 table just for makeup and dressing
- 2 bottles of Veuve Clicquot champagne
- 3 L’Occitane vanilla-scented candles with matches
- 1 cozy blanket
- 4 black bath towels
- 1 case of Arrowhead water
Rihanna
- 1 lighted professional makeup mirror
- 2 Trish McEvoy blueberry candles
- 1 large, comfy sofa
- 24 Buffalo wings, hot sauce on the side
- 1 whole roasted chicken, spiced with jerk seasoning and cut into parts
Kid Rock
- 1 toaster
- 1 tube of ChapStick
- 1 pack of white crew socks
- 2 bottles of Grey Goose or Ketel One vodka
- 2 low fat yogurts (raspberry)
- 1 package of baby wipes
Jonas Brothers
- 8 Red Bull Sugarfree beverages, plus 6 regular Red Bulls
- 2 plastic bottles of room-temperature apple juice
- 12 bath-size towels (must be freshly laundered)
- 24 pieces of California sushi rolls
- 1 package of Oreo Double Stuff
- 6 bottles Vitaminwater (yellow, red, orange)
- 3 packages of Listerine Pocket-packs breath strips
They say you can learn a lot about a person by how they dress or how they treat their mother. We think you can learn more about a person by what they have on their rider. For example, we now know that Rihanna is cool and has great taste in food. And that Christina Aguilera needs to set a mood before she performs. And that the Jonas Brothers' rider was most likely manufactured by their publicist in a bid to seem as wholesome as their image (apple juice and Oreos? Come on) , when in reality they probably demanded German scat porn and some speedballs. And that Kid Rock has chapped lips and a dirty anus. And enjoys Eggos. more »
It's now time to check in on the non-bikini-ensconced life of one Ms. Britney Jean Spears. Where will life find her today? Doing laundry and changing diapers like any typical mother of two toddlers? Probably not. Planning her 1,278th comeback? Now you're talking. Our girl will once again be opening the MTV Video Music Awards, airing this Sunday. Brit said in a statement:
MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs? I'm excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated.
And according to TMZ, Brit won't sing or dance at the awards, but that's not so shocking. She didn't actually sing or dance during her performance last year either, so maybe Spears will end up hitting the stage. Semantics. We're sort of hoping that Brit will appear onstage in a straight jacket, her polyester hair all wild and disheveled. That, or she should come out in manpris and cornrows as a tribute to early Kevin Federline and the beginning of her own decline.
And speaking of men who have visited Brit's clam chute, her mommy claims Britney was humping like mad at fourteen. According to our gossip baby mama, FemaleFirst:
Britney Spears had sex at 14 and started taking drugs aged 15, according to her mother.
Lynne Spears' shocking revelations also include claims Britney began drinking at 13 and was introduced to drugs when she went to Los Angeles to record her first hit.
The 'Toxic' singer was even allegedly caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet when she was just 16.
Dispelling claims Britney lost her virginity to her former pop star boyfriend Justin Timberlake, Lynne says in her book 'Through the Storm' her daughter first had sex with an 18-year-old American football player while she attended her local high school in Kentwood, Louisiana, for a year before becoming a teen pop star.
Lynne admits she allowed Britney, aged 16, to sleep with Justin.
A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her."
Does Lynne expect us to be shocked that she has a room in her house equipped with a deluxe king-size pillowtop and lots and lots of lube with a sign on the door that says "Teen Sex Room"? Cause we are. Shocked. Outraged. Appalled. But most of all just wishing that we could go back in time and implant our little fetal self in Lynne Spears's womb. Sure, the genetic crazy would be tough, but that teen sex room sounds awesome. Way better than the Panasonic and Barcalounger room of our teen years. more »
The bitch is back! Elton John: gaptoothed, queeny, favors oversized novelty eyewear and wieners. Lily Allen: has third nipple, drunk, favors tit slips and Courvoisier. Put them together in the same room and it's like putting Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger in a burlap sack and then shaking it up. The pair cohosted the GQ Man of the Year Awards ceremony last night and after Lily began tossing back the sauce, hilarity ensued. Says Yeeeah! (via the Daily Mail):
When Miss Allen came to announce ‘…and now the most important part of the night’, [so-host] Elton John chipped in ‘What? Are you going to have another drink?’ She fired back: ‘Fuck off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!’
The shocked audience fell silent. A clearly rattled Elton replied ‘I could still snort you under the table’. To which she replied: ‘Fuck off. I don’t know what you are talking about.’ When Sir Elton made reference to 82-year-old crooner Tony Bennett’s age as he was given the Inspiration Award, Miss Allen interrupted: “I’ll still fuck him.”
She also drunkenly blurted out the news that her brother had got engaged to girlfriend Jaime Winstone, much to the couple’s shock since they had not even circulated the news among their friends.
Miss Allen could be seen pouring herself champagne from a bottle she had hidden behind the lectern, gulping it down in between awards, and finally slumping down at the back of the stage. Such was her state that she barely made it off the stage after the awards ended. She went on to drink even more champagne at the afterparty and had to be helped out to her car by her ever-present bodyguard.
This is why England is way cooler than we are. England picks a known sloppy-ass inebriate to host an awards ceremony and when she starts launching f-bombs, insulting a knight, and practically falling face first into her own puke, the show rolls on. Here in America, at the first sign of Ellen Degeneres getting a little slurry, we'd yank her off the stage and replace her with Robin Williams doing funky gay rasta man voices for three and a half hours.
• Reggie Bush desires less tush from girlfriend Kim Kardashian. He also hates America, freedom, petting puppies, and ice cream. (Celebitchy)
• Bret Michaels and Ambre Lake have ended their "relationship". Now Bret can spend more time with his hair and the finest European extensions money can buy. (Celeb Warship)
In case you missed last night's airing of the MTV Movie Awards, fear not! MTV will rerun them probably three times a day until next June. You can see famous lady attendees in their finery here, you can peruse the list of winners here, but the big news is that we went all Perez and actually had a CelebNewsWire correspondent backstage at the awards as well as at the afterparty. So without further ado, please enjoy the following EXCLUSIVE!!!!! SECRET!!! SCOOP!!!!!! on the backstage goings-on.
According to our spy:
7. Most sought-after celeb backstage: Christian Siriano from Project Runway.
6. Second most sought-after celeb backstage: Rainn Wilson. "Ladies love him," says Deep Throat. He is also extremely nice and personable, having time for everyone. He was worried about how his teddy-bear-tied-to-dong skit would come off, though he needn't have fretted.
5. Also top dog in the personality category: Anna Faris. Who, apparently, enjoys a cigarette or two but will only bum puffs off others instead of smoking her own.
4. Vern Troyer was riding on people's shoulders.
3. Tila Tequila is actually rather attractive in real life (we're having a hard time believing this one).
2. Lindsay Lohan was there with an entire entourage . . . of homosexuals. Of the boy homo and girl homo varieties. She would ONLY hang out with the gays and the lezzies, no mere mortal breeders were allowed to enter the orbit of the Lohan. No Samantha Ronson, however.
1. Paris Hilton was backstage . . . in a display case. No. Really. It was a cordoned-off area where she sat perched on a couch behind curtains and ropes, surrounded by colossal African-American bodyguards, who shielded her from view when she smoked cigarettes. Later, she and Benji Madden were escorted away and Christian Siriano replaced her in the sideshow freak display.
We hear that next year, everyone is expecting to up the ante by having Lindsay Lohan scissor Tila Tequila on top of Vern Troyer's shoulders while smoking. Which, coincidentally, is the basis for the new reality hit planned for VH-1's fall line up. It's called The Lindsay Lohan Scissoring Tila Tequila on Top of Vern Troyer's Shoulders While Smoking Comedy Hour. No idea how they came up with that title.
When it comes to the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards, you can count on one or more of the following events:
1. Tweens screeching louder than America's Next Top Model contestant during Tyra Mail Time
2. Someone gets slimed
3. An errant butthole or nipple jumps out to steal the show
Although it's doubtful that anything will top Lindsay Lohan's storied full ass flash of yore, Rihanna's come forth with a fine 2008 offering of a sliver of nippage nosing its way out of her bustier. After the cut, more of Rihanna's Tom Cruise hair . . . and areola (which thankfully appears to be unCruisian in color and circumference).
more »
Oscar fashion, schmoscar schmashion. Leave lauding cinematic performances up to the untouchable "Academy". When it comes to lauding skinematic perv-formances, there is but one man to whom we all answer: Mr. Skin. This morning, he appeared on Sirus radio's Howard 100 and unveiled (dig that pun!) the winners of his ninth annual Anatomy Awards. Click on that link and you will be magically transported, Wonkavision style, to a land where the best merkin lives in harmony alongside crack slips and thongs, where Breast Picture has nothing to do with oil wells or wedge-haired killers. So make sure your boss is out of the room, and breathe in the thick, loamy air of the very best skin scenes of the past year.
Glamour and glitter! Fashion and fame! It's not just the lyrics to the Jem theme, friends, it's Oscar night! Last night Hollywood's finest donned their gayest frocks and convened to numb their buns in a theater, sans alcohol, while other people got faux gold statuettes and wept. It usually takes a day or two before hawk-eyed Encyclopedia Brown type is able to decode a nipple slip or cheek sneak or two, so we'll wait, patiently twiddling our thumbs and other protruding, fleshy knobs. In the meantime, head over to Egotastic! to peruse all of the Oscar fashions. Marvel, if you will, over the fact that these people have access to borrowed $8000 gowns and millions of dollars worth of jewels, the world's most famous designers, hairdressers, and makeup artists, and STILL, everyone wore a plain black, white, or red gown. Except for Diablo Cody, who donned her own Urban Outfitters leopard curtains (rowrrr!), skull and crossbone earrings (rollergirls RULZ!) and pinup girl tattoo (eat your heart out, Winehouse!). Suicide Girls with a pen! You just know she's got cherries tattooed somewhere on her body.
Back in the year 1986, Junkyard Dog was king of the ring, UB40 won our hearts with a little song called "Red Red Wine", and every female age 12-30 smelled like Exclamation!, a terrifying nasal assault that came armed with the catchphrase "make a statement without saying a word". Another way to make a statement without saying a word--and without smelling curiously of citrus-infused cat urine? Remain mum on the subject of pregnancy rumors, but show up on the red carpet of the Independent Spirit Awards wearing a form-fitting schmatte that shows off some of this:
Oh, Angelina Jolie. We already know that you don't like Shiloh--or white kids in general--much, so why whip up another? On the other hand, doesn't the baby's father, a wax version of Robert Evans in 1974, look positively radiant?
Gary Busey is like a dildo secreted away inside a Jello salad at a family reunion: unexpected and fun for everyone! During an interminably long red carpet session prior to last night's Oscar ceremony, the pink-hued mega-star showed up, inexplicably, to zazz up the night with his inimitable grace.
Inimitable grace, tombstone teeth, and a sexual assault upon Jennifer Garner's person.
Paris Hilton's storied opus, The Hottie and the Nottie, a classic tale of the struggle between good and evil, a moral fable for the masses, made $9000 its opening weekend at the box office. That's probably less than Jenna Jameson pays for a-hole bleach. And now, to add insult to injury, she's allegedly been "banned" from attending the Oscars. We have no idea how someone can be blacklisted from the Oscars, but our personal gossip bouncer, FemaleFirst, scoops the poop, quoting a source who states:
"She cried hot, salty tears when she was banned from the Oscars. She's desperate to be taken seriously as an actress and hoped she would be able to network with film executives."
It's OK, Paris. The best networking actually occurs far away from the glittery Academy stage. There's no better place to make special Hollywood contacts than in the back of limos parked behind the theater. Or in the back of El Caminos parked behind the Stop and Swap on West 114th. Last time we went there, we got 14 bootlegged copies of Why Did I Get Married? and a pack of tube socks! Whoo!
The same source says that Paris is planning on surreptitiously attending the afterparties in disguise:
"She's tempted to go to the parties afterwards but might wear her trademark wig to save her dignity."
Dur. If it's a trademark wig, it's not much of a disguise, dingbat. Show up with your nipples covered and your body devoid of burnt umber tanner and we'll talk, sister.
So the Grammys happened last night. Rihanna performed with Morris Day and the Time, making us think that it was 1984 and we were listening to the 45 of "Jungle Love" on our Goofy record player. Also, Herbie Hancock won Album of the Year, making us think that it was 1982 and we were laughing, mouth full of Fruit Wrinkles, at his funny robot leg video before switching the channel to Shirt Tales. In addition, Amy Winehouse won a bunch of stuff, thanked "my Blake, incarcerated" like a straight thug boo should, and appeared lucid, charming, non-slurry, sober, and pretty with-it, making us think it was . . . what year was Amy Winehouse last sober? Let's see, she was born in 1983, made her first album in 2003, hm . . . da da da, carry the two, square root of . . . (frantically counting on fingers) . . . 1989? OK, so we just picked a completely arbitrary year, whatever, we just wanted a chance to revisit Skidz. And Michel'le.
Egotastic! is teeming with Grammy red carpet pics, so have a look.
Oh, Sean Young. How we've missed your wacky antics. Your brand of craziness is so much more fun than Britney's brand of craziness, and so much less sad. You're just a drunk. Ain't nothing wrong with that. God love ya. You know who doesn't love Sean Young, though? The Diving Bell and the Butterfly director Julian Schnabel. Page Six reports:
IF you thought Sean Young - the wacko actress once accused of harassing James Woods - had mellowed with age, you'd be dead wrong.
Young was physically thrown out of the Directors Guild of America bash Saturday night for heckling "La Vie en Rose" star Marion Cotillard, then insulting Julian Schnabel, director of "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly."
LA gossip site Defamer.com reports Young "began screaming in French" when Cotillard took the stage at the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza to present an award. Young could be heard "breaking into song."
But it was when Schnabel took the stage to make a brief speech "that she really went kook, yelling at him to 'get on with it' and to 'move it on' . . . Julian yelled back at her to 'have another drink, honey' and started to leave the stage before the crowd yelled at him to stay," Defamer reports.
"He continued to talk, and Sean stood up and made a big production of putting on her white fur coat, walking around in a circle and then taking her seat again."
Variety blogger Kristopher Tapley said Young "really ruined Julian's moment and it was kind of sad. He looked into the audience and said, 'Who said that?' . . . and then he said, 'Perhaps you'd like to finish my speech.' He was visibly p - - - ed and upset by the interruption. Sort of sad, actually. It's like you get this big moment where you're one of the five directors honored in a year and then some drunk in the audience ruins a lifetime moment for you."
Finally, when a team of security guards swooped in to remove Young, "she tried to throw a punch at [them]," Tapley writes.
Through her sister, Kathleen, Young told Page Six she would have no comment. Her reps didn't return a call or an e-mail.
Young, 38, whose movies include "Blade Runner" and "No Way Out," is no stranger to wacky behavior. After she and Woods had a fling during their 1988 film "The Boost," Woods filed a lawsuit against her for harassment and what he said was "a jihad of terror" against him. Years later, a bitter Young said she'd star with Woods again if she could beat him up or kill him in the movie.
Young also got weird when she tried to land the role of Catwoman in "Batman Returns," donning a homemade costume and trying to confront director Tim Burton during shooting.
We're pretty sure we know how this Schnabel hating began. When Sean first heard about the film, she figured she would be perfect for the part of the butterfly, whipped out the hot glue and sequins to construct a pair of wings, then presented herself to Schnabel, who responded, "But Sean, the film isn't about a butterfly." Then after spending days and days at her local library researching what the hell a diving bell is and trying to figure out what kind of costume it required, so lost it. And she's been holding onto that rage and confusion ever since.
• However, cops are saying that drug packets were found in his room, along with a $20 bill rolled up in a "suspicious" fashion. Maybe it was origami-folded into the shape of Snidely Whiplash! (TMZ)
• Possibly the last picture of Heath taken (very Depp!), on the set of his movie, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Which sounds like a poor man's Dr. Magorium's Wonder Imporium. (Derek Hail)
• Attention, France! Your do not have supermodel-singer Carla Bruni as a first lady. Haha, France! In your face! You lose! Although you do produce very delicious breads and cheeses and berets. We'll give you that much, France. (Celeb Warship)
• Here is a list of Oscar nominations. Not only are we witty and rich and can bench 550 pounds, we're helpful, too! (Allie Is Wired)
• Mariah Carey actually would rather be onstage with J. Lo than a pig after all. Good to know. (Celebitchy)
• Britney's car was impounded. There was no way for her to avoid bein' grounded. Her parents had to come up from vacation and get me, I'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me. So tell you all the kids all across the land, there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand. Dee doo doo doo. (I Don't Like You In That Way)
Remember that scene in Dirty Dancing when Baby and Johnny are doing their big "Mambo Magic" routine at the hotel, and Baby flakes out on the lift, so she just sticks out her thumbs and does a few truly embarrassing steps? And remember when Ashlee Simpson got busted Milli Vanilling on SNL and did a hoe-down? Well, Britney also attempted to mask her apathetic VMA gyrations with some camo of her own.
So the VMAs were last night. And in between stifled yawns and many, many glasses of Arbor Mist (it's like juice--but with booze!), we made a few observations. First, Beyoncé's boobs are really jiggly. Sarah Silverman is still not funny just because she's mean (AND she has now made us feel sympathy for Paris Hilton TWICE, and for that she must pay). We are old and completely out of touch and have no idea who this Chris Brown fellow is, but boy can dance (though he can't lip sync worth a damn). Kid Rock and Tommy Lee need to chill the fuck out; we're sure Pammy would still screw them both so there's no need to fight over who gets the privilege. Some people were walking around with little silver statues, but we're not sure why; maybe they were cool new accessories, like Kanye West's sunglasses. Dr. Dre looked like he shopped for his awards-show duds in the closet of either Hans or Franz. Rihanna's dress was really, really tight and her hair was inexplicably awesome.
Paris Hilton's dress was really, really tight and her hair was explicably horrendous--but still a lovely tribute to Florence Henderson.
The part of Jennifer Garner was filled by her Madame Tussaud's wax figure--and had really awful hair.
And we feel like there was something else we were going to mention. God. What was it? There is nothing left in our head concerning last night's awards ceremony. Did something else happen? We just can't remember.
All of Britney's hard work during the past few weeks--the Federfights, the free-swinging glutes, the baby boozing, the puppy-bashing--these were all hors d'oevres before the main course: the VMAs! America's Sweetfart is preparing to make her triumphant, gallumphant return to MTV. US Weekly reports:
“She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,” says a Spears insider, who adds that the goal is to make it “shocking.” One early idea that was canned? Performing “My Prerogative” amid a medley of hits, as images of exes Justin Timberlake, 26, and Kevin Federline, 29, and other gossip fodder flashed on a screen behind her. As for a report that she’d do a duet with Timberlake? “Totally, patently false,” says a Timberlake source.
After taking a Lady Remington to her skull and then going three rounds with an SUV while brandishing an umbrella, there are few things Britney could do to top herself in the "shocking" category. Maybe by spending some cheddar on a quality wig. Or wearing a well-fitting dress. Yeah, a well-fitting dress without any buffalo wing sauce on it. That would do it. America would be outraged! more »
Like we always say, CelebNewsWire has so much in common with Kate Moss. First, we look fierce in skinny jeans. Also, we've been kicked out of fancy pants British music awards shows for humping our crackhead boyfriend in the alley more times than we can even remember. more »
Hollywood reincarnation shocker! Ellen DeGeneres is Lucille Ball's grandmother! Even more shocking? Lucy's grandfather: a lesbian Chihuahua named Buttercup. more »
With Lindsay currently on her best behavior, Paris skulking around following her embarrassing birthday snafu at the oily hands of Brandon Davis, and Britney safely tucked away within the confines of Promises's manicured grounds, the prospects of spying a little surreptitious celebrity labes is looking grim, friends. But like a phoenix from the vulvaless ashes, Helen Mirren rises. more »
We're finally ready to admit it. We're well into Tuesday and no one seems to have located any errant Oscar night nipples, so there you go. For the first time in quite a while, a truly G-rated ceremony. Perhaps the stars were particularly wary of offending best actress nominee/li'l shaver Abigail Breslin and had their assistants use the ultra-durable boob tape, or maybe we can blame it on post-Britney poon fallout. But, like a Long John Silvers sign emerging from the fog during a lonely cross-country drive, Mr. Skin's Anatomy Awards are here! Thrill to Salma Hayek's mind-bendingly joggling jugs on Ugly Betty! Watch in wonder as you see Rosie O'Donnell's ass encased, haggis-like, in pantyhose! Be knocked sideways by the fact that Gretchen Mol dyed her hair--ALL her hair--for The Notorious Bettie Page! Let's be honest, kids, you're not really interested in the delicacy of Helen Mirren's portrayal of Queen Elizabeth nor the quiet dignity Rinko Kikuchi brought to Babel. You didn't even see those movies. You were too busy flopping your dong to honeys in the Coldwater Creek catalog. So check out the only awards that matter, and stop poring over pictures from Sunday night, trying in vain to spy a half a centimeter of Winslet areola. It's not going to happen. Give up the ghost. more »
According to many, many eyewitnesses, Eddie Murphy took his Oscar loss (to Alan Arkin) particularly hard, storming out of the ceremony never to return, missing his Dreamgirls castmates' performances/Oscar wins. Eddie later told US Weekly:
"It's fine. It happens. It's OK."
Allegedly, after a change of Huggies and a sippy cup of apple juice in front of The Wiggles' Wiggly Safari, Murphy's good cheer has returned, and he's all better and ready to impregnate and leave another Spice Girl. more »