filed under: Audrina Patridge

Have you ever watched The Hills (in which case, hey man, we've fallen in that trap before too; deepest sympathies) and thought to yourself, "What the hell is going on here? It's just a bunch of skinny bitches crying all the time. Why doesn't anything ever happen on this show?" If so, Charlize Theron knows your pain. She's been there, been confused by that too. An excerpt from her recent interview with MTV:

MTV: Charlize, you and I have discussed "The Hills" a couple times.

Theron: Yes, you belittled me on television. They were like, "Who's the fucking nana on the TV show who's never seen 'The Hills'?!?"

MTV: I never called you a nana.

Theron: Well, the kids now think I'm a nana, thanks to you.

MTV: You have said that you are now up on "The Hills," so I have a question: Do you think Lo is treating Audrina fairly?

Theron: [Long pause, laughs.] So I watched a couple episodes. I was doing a world tour at the time, so I watched them in a couple languages. I realized that this fucking show is huge. Now I'm going to ask you a question: Why?

MTV: Why what?

Theron: Why is it so big? It's about nothing! This is a free country. Freedom of speech! You can tell me right now to my face that "Reindeer Games" was a piece of shit. That's totally fine. But "The Hills" is about nothing. I think the girls are beautiful and when they cry their mascara runs and that's real, but I don't get it! [Pause.] I am a nana. I'll just take it. I am a nana. Maybe I need to watch the shows some more.

Oooh, oooh, we love getting opportunities like this. Charlize, Reindeer Games was a piece of shit. Oh, and Sweet November too. And we didn't see Mighty Joe Young, but we can pretty much guess that was a piece of shit too. But you were really good on Arrested Development. We liked that. And you have shiny hair. And you're really pretty. Will you still be our friend? Please? Sweet November wasn't your fault. Keanu is an acting albatross. No one can get over that weight. Did we mention you're really pretty? more »

• Dear Jennifer Love Hewitt: You can do side bends or sit-ups. But please don't lose that bust. (Faded Youth)

• Paris Hilton is getting sued. Again. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

• Yesterday Jennifer Aniston broke up with John Mayer. Today she's dating Selma Blair's ex. What does tomorow bring? (Female First)

• Mr. Skin takes to the mean streets of Chicago to uncover Hollywood's greatest ass. (MrSkin.com)

• Let's play Kim Kardashian Ass Detective! It's funner than Cootie! (Cityrag.com)

• Peaches Geldof and some indie rocker dude had a quickie wedding in Las Vegas. On their registry: deep V shirts, pocohontas headbands, and cocaine. (CelebWarship)

• Angelina Jolie is Tom Cruise's understudy. (Hollywire)

• Audrina Patridge in a bikini. We recently noted that her last name actually ISN'T "Partridge" and our minds were blown. (Fatback)

• Hey look. It's Marilyn Manson. Or maybe that's Cher. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

When we think "serious thespians Paul Walker and Jessica Alba in Into the Blue," obviously we also think "sequel!" But in the grand tradition of taking a mildly successful film, not coughing up enough cash to get its stars to return, and instead packing it with boobies (i.e., Poison Ivy 2 and Cruel Intentions 2), Into the Blue 2 will make sure it has a couple of bouncing buoys to grab your attention. Egotastic brings us the poop from a somewhat dubious source:

I can't find the original article, so I'm not 100% sure on this one, but according to National Ledger (ever the bastion of journalistic integrity), Star magazine is reporting that we will see Audrina Patridge topless in her new movie Into the Blue 2. The report also indicates that we will soon see pictures of Audrina nude on the set, but I think that's a stretch.

"Audrina will keep the buzz of her cleavage going this summer with more nude pictures from the set of a film she is working on. According to a report from Star magazine, Audrina will be taking it all off again in the film. The scandal from March has not dissuaded the 23-year-old from stripping it off and the magazine is reporting that is what she will be doing during the filming Into The Blue 2.

"Star Magazine is reporting that it has learned Audrina will have a topless scene in the movie (where she plays Kelsey and stars along side Laura Vandervoort). 'The script calls for a moment where Audrina takes off her bathing-suit top for two seconds,' a source tells the magazine. 'Still, she's a little nervous, because she wants to be seen as a serious actress.'"

A serious actress, huh? We think we'll believe that one right around the time we start believing Heidi Montag really wants more privacy. more »