filed under: Ashley Tisdale

• Sienna Miller finally cuts loose her improbably-named, leonine lover Rhys Ifans. (CeleBuzz)

• Angry whelp Miley Cyrus wrecks equipment on the set of her new video. "Grrrr! I'm so mad! Like a bear! Grrr! Like a fluffy bear! With a bow around its neck! Grrr . . . awwww." (Drunken Stepfather)

• Kim Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo dressed as cheerleaders, Carmen Electra in jazzercise gear. You're welcome, pre-verts. (The Hollywood Gossip)

• The fetus is out there. And by "there" we mean in Gillian Anderson's womb. (F-Listed)

• Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen married Brooke Whatsherguts last weekend. We didn't report on it because it didn't involve insulting Denise Richards. (Allie Is Wired)

• Lily Allen's hair is pink, her face is green, and her liver is pickled yellow. Fun drunk shots! Luv u Lily. (Derek Hail)

• Astley Tisdale: prepare for mass RickRollage. (The Blemish)

• Vanity Fair is in deep shit for implying that Gina Gershon let Bill Clinton's presidential peen into her Oval Office. Crystal Connors, NO! (Defamer)

• Eva Longoria is sporting what appears to be an inflated pregnancy rack, highlighted by the most burnt sienna of tan-spackle. (D-listed)

• Megan Fox seems to have misplaced her shirt. We all win! (Egotastic!)

• Brad Pitt thinks that orphans come from his anus. (Allie Is Wired)

• Britney's not the only one who enjoys mama's lollipops in front of Sean and JJ. Only Daddy's lollipops come in a pretty glass container and smell funny. (Yeeeah!)

• Fergie is coming clean about her dirtied drawers. (Cityrag)

• Ashley Tisdale's new nose gives you glad tidings. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Britney proves she owns undies. (Taxi Driver)

• Tony Parker is not just French, he's litigious. Doubly obnoxious! (Daily Stab)

• Tom Cruise's older children call Katie Holmes "Mom". They call Tom "Intergalactic Overlord Patriarchal Cyborg Unit #6599202B". (Celebitchy)

• Tara Reid sports a bikini. And what appears to be Ashton Kutcher's trucker hat from 2002. (The Blemish)

• Monica Bellucci has thingies. They're, like, round things. Kind of pinkish? They're a little bit below her collarbone. You know, whosiwhatsits. (Hollywood Tuna)

Because you are a dirty, disgusting pervert, you will love seeing your little sister's favorite Disney Channel star slip a big puffy nipple after the cut. Look at it for a good couple of minutes and then call your psychiatrist and tell her to clear her schedule. more »