Frankly, there's not much going on in the way of celebrity dirt today. Everyone's still hiding out in their bomb shelters, doing Lamaze breathing and gobbling Oxycontin, trying to wrap their heads around this whole RenÈe Zellweger-Kenny Chesney thing. We have to admit that we spent a good solid seventeen hours yesterday trying to come up with a clever "Bennifer" nickname for the merry couple. After half-heartedly deciding on "Chesweger", we realized that we kinda didn't care, and they're probably just going to split up in a few months anyway.
In an official statement released yesterday, the bald-pated hillbilly hubby said, "I am incredibly happy. I may well be the luckiest man alive. To be so in love with someone who is so perfect for me. It's just hard to imagine that I'm not going to wake up." Listen, we don't know about you guys, but there is something highly, highly creepy about this whole stunt. These two met four months ago and have reportedly only been involved in a romance for a few weeks. Chesney wrote a song about RenÈe long before he met her and had always said she was his favorite actress. There is something undeniably chilling about marrying a star with whom you have been obsessed for years. And, well, I guess it goes without saying that a surprise wedding after being together for a few weeks may just mean that there is a tiny, puffy-cheeked zygote wearing a cowboy hat residing in Zellweger's baby-chamber. Anyway, we're doing speculating. Now we just have to sit back and wait for RenÈe to start appearing in public sans wedding ring while Kenny goes on a hookers n' coke bender in Vegas with Kevin Federline and Pat O'Brien.
See Kenny Chesney's wife's Nude Review at MrSkin.com!
