Victoria Beckham claims she looks awful naked. Does that mean we've actually been looking at her naked all these years?
According to England's Daily Mail:
The wife of former England captain David tells a magazine today that having three children and then losing so much weight afterwards has left a rather unsightly legacy on her tummy. 'I've got so much saggy skin on my stomach,' she says.
While despite the efforts of airbrushing experts – working on a recent poster advertising the couple's new fragrance – to make us think otherwise, she actually has 'no bum at all'.
Mrs Beckham added: 'I might fit into jeans but, trust me, I look really awful naked.'
We now present Victoria Beckham Naked: A Verbal Portrait. Beginning with her head, we find an unusual specimen, a twenty pound noggin (this species holds the majority of its weight in the cranium) supported by a two ounce neck, known scientifically as Billyus Corganicus. It sprouts locks of lackluster brown, sprinkled throughout with waxy polyester. On down we notice the ochre skin, pulled tight over shoulders sharp like garden spades and ready to burst from the halved coconut shell inserted atop her chest. From the rear we notice an ass as flat and one-dimensional as her intellect. But the real surprise comes when we reach the abdomen, as we discover what Louis Vuitton corsets are capable of disguising. Freed from its couture confines, Victoria's stomach flesh is finally able to flop free, like folds in a croissant or gently lapping ocean waves. Quick! Find some Dior to wrap her in before her stomach's hunger pains gain strength and break through the flesh in search of sustenance!
Nosh on Posh at MrSkin.com.
