Ol' Turkey-Neck Beckham Wants To Get Smoothed Out

Posh Spice has a secret shame. And obviously we're not talking about binge eating here. It's her neck. It's super, super ugly. Like, damn woman, buy some scarves or something before you start scaring away the children. Although if those children had any backbone and sense of humor at all, they probably wouldn't be frightened but start gobbling at her instead. Gobble gobble. Turkey Neck Spice. Well, it's a good thing she's planning on spackling the thing with plastic before it has a chance to get much worse. Reports our very own Turkey in the Straw, FemaleFirst:

The former Spice Girls star is said to be worried that her flaws have been exposed since cutting her hair short in a 'pixie' style and she is willing to go under the knife to improve the apparent problem area.

A source said: "All eyes are now on her neck because there's nowhere to hide it, so Victoria wants to see if she can do anything to improve it.

"She's been saying that it looks wrinkled and compromised. She's seriously considering having work done."

We're sure there are plastic surgeons out there who find one area of the anatomy they excel at making look awesome (you know, if by awesome you mean fake, bloated, drugged, and Mickey Rourke-ish) and stick with it. Undoubtedly there are boob-job specialists and rhinoplasty specialists. But is it possible that in the world somewhere there is one Cayman Islands-educated doctor who said to himself, "The neck is the most wonderful and beautiful part of the human body. It is my life's mission to make sure that no 35+ rich lady ever sees flabs or folds or wrinkles upon its pristine surface"? Because that's pretty pathetic, as special purposes go. Especially when compared to Navin R. Johnson's special purpose.