Friends are worried that during the upcoming Spice Girls tour, Posh Spice's brittle baby bird legs will give out under the weight of her comically rotund chesticle implants, turning her patellae to dust and rendering her unable to ever don Louboutin pumps again. Woe! So the burnt umber Brit has been ordered to gain weight via a nutritionally dense diet. According to The Mirror:
Sources close to the band are worried that Posh is too thin for the gruelling dates, which kick off in December. So, as a result, she's been put on a spinach-rich diet to increase her stamina and energy.
As well as gorging on the green stuff – famous for giving strength to cartoon character Popeye – she has been asked to eat more carbohydrates, with bowls of brown rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
We're told: "Vic is under orders to have at least five small meals a day, to get her body prepared for the tour. She isn't too happy about the plan but understands that it's necessary if she's to stay healthy and not burn out over the coming months."
If fairy tales have taught us anything–and they've taught us plenty, like that poor people live inside giant novelty shoes and dwarves make good friends–it's that gaining weight is super easy. Just get a witch to keep you inside a cage and force-feed you carbs in preparation for your ass getting stuffed with figs and bread and roasted like a Christmas Goose.
Posh brings the spice at MrSkin.com.
