Victoria Beckahm Is Literally Covered in Shit

Rich people have it so much better than the rest of us. They get to wear designer clothes, drive fancy cars, live in luxurious homes. And while we have to depend on Noxema and Clearasil, they get to include exotic ingredients in their skin-care regimen. Exotic ingredients like bird shit. There's nothing like the clean feeling you get from smearing bird shit on your face. Reports the Daily Mail:

Nobody likes falling victim to birds' mess dropping on them from above - even though it is supposed to bring good luck.

But for Victoria and David Beckham it is more a case of bird poo bringing them a good look, rather than good luck.

Victoria, who has long battled problem skin, puts her new clear complexion down to a bizarre new beauty regime involving bird poo.

And it seems David has been getting involved too.

It has emerged that the stylish couple have been indulging in beauty treatments to improve their skin.

Victoria, 34, has been regularly indulging in £100 Geisha Facials, using a paste made from nightingale droppings, to combat acne she has suffered since her teens.

A pal told Closer magazine: 'When Victoria was in Japan recently she was admiring the local women’s clear skin and discovered it was down to these facials.

'She was intrigued and when she got back to the US she found that some New York beauty salons now offer the treatment.

'She tried it and loved how great her skin looked. She also uses a cream derived from nightingale poo at home.'

We've been down a similar road, with stories of Wino and Vanessa Williams trickling the tinkle on their visages. But bird poop seems a bit extreme. These sorts of stories always make us imagine the discovery of the magical properties of such a substance. "Hey, Paw, c'mere. I done got a zit on my face. What'mi gonna do?" "Aw don worry, I jus sawr a bird shit in the field ov'r thar. Stick yer face in it and that thing'll clear right up."