What is that eerie mollusk looking for a hole? Is that a geoduck? Oh. No, no . . . we've just been informed that it's Austin Powers star Verne Troyer's tongue feverishly inching towards a woman's mouth. TMZ has a clip of this insanely arousing sex tape, and reports:
Yes, that's Mini-Me Verne Troyer in a sex tape shot with his former live-in girlfriend at the couple's apartment. A third party has snatched up the tape and although no deal has been made, we hear dealer Kevin Blatt, who brokered the deal for Paris' video, is entertaining a $100k offer from SugarDVD to distribute the nastiness. We would have thought the tape was worth at least ONE BILLION DOLLARS.
A rep for Troyer could not be reached for comment.
Oh, sure, you can sit there behind your computer screen making barfing noises and spouting internet catchphrases like "do not want!", but the truth of the matter is that these days, porn isn't considered hot unless it involves forked wangs and Go-Gurt enemas and entire legs inserted into ladies, so this is timely. Tame, even. Oh the times, the are a-changing. The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind. They paved paradise and put up a dildo store.
