Uptown Girl Ditched for Hamptons Girl

When we heard yesterday about Christie Brinkley's husband cheating on her with a nineteen-year-old and the horrible, public way in which she found out, we thought it had all the good makings of a low-level celebrity scandal. But we thought the story was a little thin. There were no salacious quotes, not even from a Hamptons restaurant busboy, there were no objects thrown, presumably no public screaming matches. This is not the type of behavior we expect from former models (see Campbell, Naomi). But today's edition of Christie Brinkley's Asshat Husband (Name Not Important) Schtups a Nineteen-year-old has a bright shiny sticker on the front cover that reads: Now with 30% more references to sex and 100% more lawyers!!

So to recap, yesterday we learned that Christie Brinkley was leaving her fourth husband, Peter Cook, after learning of his affair with his nineteen-year-old personal assistant. (Note to ageing-yet-still-hot rich ladies: Pay attention to whom your husband employs as his personal assistant. If she is young, pert, and looks anything like Jessica Alba, your husband is cheating pile of feces. If the assistant is anything like Entourage's gaysian Lloyd, you might be in the clear.) The National Enquirer dug up a squawking macaw they like to refer to as a "source" for this quote:

The girl's stepdad is a local cop in Southampton (New York) and he initially went to Cook and told him to end the romance.
But nothing happened and then the stepfather found out where Christie and Peter were going to be at an event.
He went up to both of them and said right in front of Christie, "If I were not worried about getting my pension, you'd be a dead man. Stop dating my daughter."

But where is Christie's reaction? Where is the filthy liar saying, "Please, baby, ya gotta believe me. I never touched the girl. She tried to come on to me, I swear"? Where are the eyewitnesses? C'mon, Enquirer, give us something. It's not like you're People and worried about facts and the truth. Can't you at least make something up? We're sure it wouldn't be the first time.
Today we got to hear from the assistant herself, aspiring pop star Diana Bianchi, who is now thinking about suing Cook for sexual harassment. In Bianchi's interview with The New York Post, she basically said, He touched me inappropriately, he bought me gifts and gave me money and paid for my Nissan, and, sure, I had sex with him, but he was totally wrong and inappropriate and shouldn't have done those things. Now the poor innocent fawn just hopes that her youthful indiscretion won't ruin her formative years, and, as The New York Daily News put it, she also has one other hope: "That the celebrity scandal doesn't ruin her chances at pop stardom." We don't think Diana has too much to worry about. At the very least sleeping with her notable married boss could land her in a Sam Kinison video. You know, if he weren't dead.
Remember when Christie was a model married to Billy Joel? MrSkin.com does. She was hot.