Even though classy giantess Uma Thurman seems to resemble the graceful, lithe gazelle, she's more sees herself as more of a sexual predator than prey, like a flesh-hungry lion. "Flesh-hungry" meaning "horny", you see.
We swear to Christ that we just read pretty recently that Uma was engaged to hotelier Andre Balazs, but she told Grazia magazine that she was "out there and available if anyone's interested." Maybe putting yourself out there in a popular magazine is the movie star's version of trolling Myspace for e-poon?
"How does anybody do it today? It seems harder and harder to make contact, especially for mature women. "As one who adores the male species, I feel compassionately towards them. I've studied them carefully like a hunter watches its prey. I love all the guys out there."
For those of you who failed the reading comprehension section of your third grade ACT tests, allow us to break it down for you. What Uma is saying here, is that she feels old and desperate and is willing to drop her standards. She's likening herself to a jungle cat stealthily stalking a pack of zebras, waiting to pick off the runty one with the gimpy leg and the psoriasis (what's black and white and red all over?). And you, sir, non-famous you with your balding pate and nail fungus, you are that gimpy zebra. Uma has officially lowered her standards and she can actually be yours.
That is, if you do not cower in fear from her abnormally oversized freak-finger.
Yumma Yumma, naked Uma at MrSkin.com.
