Toronto International Film Festival 2007 Features Young People Fucking

For a couple of years now, we've been hounding the powers that be at the Toronto International Film Festival to add a subtitle to their festival's name. We've sent letters, personalized cupcakes, talking parrots, whatever we could think of. But to no avail. They will not even consider changing the name to the Toronto International Film Festival: We Give You Famous Naked Titties. They may be old fuddy-duddies resistant to change and progress, but they can't argue that that's a pretty accurate description. After the cut, Cate Blanchett, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Mena Suvari, and many more.

We reported a few months ago that Elizabeth: The Golden Age should probably change it's title to Elizabeth: The Naked Queen due to the inclusion of Cate Blanchett's fabulous royal boobies. Well, we were wrong. That'll teach us to listen to neighborhood squirrels who give us movie reviews. There are no Cate casabas in the Elizabeth sequel, but there is Cate can. So can it, you complainers.

Quite the opposite of Cate is Jennifer Jason Leigh, who, with eighteen nude movie appearances under her belt, is usually a sure thing for flesh on film. And her boobs show up for number nineteen, Margot at the Wedding. She stars opposite Nicole Kidman, who's also a nudity vet. Nic turns up for a masturbation scene in which her bush may possibly--if you lighten the film and freeze frame and use binoculars and 3-D glasses and X-ray vision and a protractor--be slightly visible. If you're a completist that work may well be worth it, but for the rest of us a repeat viewing of Billy Bathgate will suffice. Although we are quite curious to know if she dies her pubes the same hideous straw color as her hair.

It's about time for a '90s revival to replace the neon legwarmers and ironic Journey t-shirts so popular with the kids, so we'll start with a return to Mena Suvari nudes. She hasn't shown nip since American Beauty, so we're happy to see her return to her youthful ways in Stuck--and she added some A to her T. Now if only Thora Birch would follow Mena's career-resurrecting lead.

And now for the best movie title you will ever hear: Young People Fucking. So direct. So honest. So real. And get this: It actually shows young people fucking. OK, OK, pretending to fuck. And those young people include Wedding Crashers star Diora Baird, who offers up nipples; Popular star Carly Pope throwing in some boobs; Punch hardbody Sonja Bennett giving some boobs and butt; and newcomer Natalie Lisinska showing breasts. Fucking awesome!

Also screened in Toronto were Disengagement, starring Juliette Binoche's full-frontal nudity; two films featuring our old friends, Asia Argento's breasts, The Last Mistress and The Mother of Tears--The Last Mistress even throws in some ass and fur so we don't get bored; and Ang Lee's ode to hardcore sex, Lust, Caution, which has already received an NC-17 rating, thanks in part to Wei Tang's three B's. Ang Lee: Exploring the taboos of sex since Jake and Heath climbed that mountain.