That Tom Cruise, what a Renaissance man. He truly can do everything. He has a perfect, totally believable family. He stars is hit movies. He effortlessly conquered a German accent. Oh wait, he pussed out on that last part, we forgot. But what he can do is save the world, one soulless celebrity at a time. He'll start by teaching Britney Spears of the wonders of Scientology. Reports Digital Spy:
Britney Spears had reportedly contacted Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to learn more about Scientology.The singer is apparently interested in using the controversial faith to help her come to terms with her recent problems.
According to Heat, Spears told a friend: "I have met Katie a few times, so I called her up and just started asking questions about Scientology. I'm always open to new things.
"Katie told me she wasn't so sure about it at first either, but once Tom explained it to her and she read the books and took some classes, it really started to work for her.
"Then Tom wanted to talk to me about it, so I did. He was nice and answered all my questions and sent me books."
Cruise has reportedly encouraged celebrities including David Beckham and Kirsten Dunst to discover Scientology.
Yeah, that's exactly what Britney needs, to believe in alien overlords and e-meters. We think she was better off thinking that all of her problems would be solved by a $25 piece of red string.
But Tommy's sage advice doesn't stop at the Brit. He's also trying to help Spencer Pratt. Unless Tom's trying to help him onto a deserted island with no cameras or internet service we're not really interested. E! reports on something called The Hills After Show (because watching the show just isn't enough; now you must watch people talk about watching the show):
There are a lot of confusing things about The Hills After Show, like where does host Dan Levy (Eugene's son) get his clothes? Is cohost Jessi Cruickshank related to Shenae Grimes, by any chance? And seriously, how does this show even exist?But last night they bewildered us even more when they somehow managed to drag Tom Cruise into the whole Speidi faux-marriage mix by asking him if it was it cool for Spencer to make Heidi elope when she wanted a big wedding.
Well, sorry, Spence, but Tommy-boy does not approve. "If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta give the wedding," he says. "But you'll learn that later."
Looks like Pratt is listening. "You all know how I feel about big weddings, but if Tom Cruise says so, it must be true," he responded to Usmagazine.com, adding, "If Tom's the best man, we'll have a big wedding!"
Poor Heidióthere goes her shot at a big bash.
That's pretty low to sink, even for Tom Cruise. What's next? Will he weigh in on whether Tila Tequila should choose dong or clit? Help the Duggars come up with a name for the 18th kid?
