When asked which celebrity they would most want to fondle their private parts, 98% of humans (male and female), and probably a similar percentage of the animal kingdom, say Angelina Jolie. So why is that the one guy who actually gets to wave his boner in Angie's face always looks miserable? They're on the red carpet together, dressed demurely in blacks and greys, their faces stony and unfeeling, never allowing a moment of joy to be perceived. Or they're at the airport with some combinationóbut never allóof their children, looking exhausted and ready to stab a nanny in the throat. Then look at this picture of Brad Pitt celebrating after the premiere of the masterpiece-of-misspellings Inglourious Basterds, which Angelina did not attend. He looks so happy. So free. So drunk. He's having fun. So the next time you look at Angelina Jolie and think, "Man, I'd love to stick my thingy in that," think about Brad. He's probably looking at you thinking, "Man, I bet he gets to drink beer whenever he wants. Nobody telling him what to do. That's the life."
One Comment
They have a deal. Every time he gets drunk in public she gets to light candles and cut herself to some Skinny Puppy.