That Jeremy Piven, he’s such a whiner. First it was “Wahhhh, I can’t do a play cause I ate too many fishies and they made me sick” and now it’s all “Boo hoo, nobody loves me cause I got bitch titties from drinking soy milk.” Dude should just be grateful that he was able to step up from getting thrown bit parts by John Cusack. Jeremy said (through a Brit-speak filter, apparently; it’s the next Auto-Tune):
I was the guy that dabbled in soya milk, but now I’ve found out soya milk has enough estrogen for me to grow breasts, I had to put the soya milk down. It was a very confusing time.
Oooh, soy milk is so magical. Why, we once heard that this dude drank so much of it that once when he was peeing his penis just fell right off into the toilet. And those fancy Swiss sex-change operations? All a hoax. There’s no surgery. Men just go to soy clinics where they eat nothing but edamame and tofu all day and within weeks they grow fully functioning vaginas. That “pregnant man” that was all the rage with the Oprah set a while back? That wasn’t a woman who became a man; that was a dude who drank too much soy milk.
One Comment
Y’know…a properly trained dominatrix would help this fool with his problems without much wear and tear and with only a small amount of money for her services and discomfort. (Let’s face it, boys and girls, even the most alpha dom does feel pain and annoyance. They have to be paid well because of some of the grief they have to face.) I’m sure Mr. Piven would benefit from some ‘personal time’.