Sometimes we wonder about tabloid writers. Chances are they’re not actually fielding hot tips from celebrities’ best friends during their work day. No, we image that their offices are filled with an endless supply of Barbie and Ken dolls dressed up like various stars, and to get ideas for new stories they pick a few dolls and start playing like fourth graders. This week one of those writers stuck her hand in the doll pile and came out with Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. So thanks, luck of the draw, for making us relive 2005. The Daily Mail spins the following yarn:
Brad Pitt is said to have held a secret meeting with his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston during a recent trip to New York.
A source told Grazia that Jennifer agreed to visit Brad in his suite at the Essex House hotel, next to Central Park.
‘She arrived at his hotel suite a matter of hours after they had spoken. Brad was unloading his emotional baggage on Jen, which isn’t exactly fair considering their history.’
But the source added: ‘She was quick to tell him she wanted no part in his break-up with Angelina.’
And the reporter rummaged through the pile until she found the Angelina Jolie doll and a fake pregnancy stomach, and preggo Angie stormed into the hotel room, sobbing, and yelled, “How could you do this to me? To your family? To your unborn child?” And then all three dolls took off all their clothes and had a plastic dry-hump orgy. The end.
3 Comments
Yeesh! Can’t they think of something a little more plausible? How about Megan Fox trying to steal away Angelina? That’s more topical. The Brad-Jenn Express has been derailed, scrapped and sold for parts and metal already, people. Time to put that chestnut to bed.
Maybe tomorrow we’ll take you advice and make up a story about Brad Pitt leaving Angelina Jolie for Megan Fox. Maybe it will land us a job at In Touch.
Okay…but I want a cashier’s check. If they ask where the story came from, you don’t know me. You never even heard of me. (Yeah, I know. Lame chance of that happening, but a guy can dream.)