CelebNewsWire» videos Archives – CelebNewsWire

Tina Fey, from No Cock to 30 Rock

Agent E. — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:59:06 +0000

These days Tina Fey is the ultimate in nerd chic and everyone wants a piece of her funnylady gold. But back before SNL and 30 Rock and all those Emmys poor Tina couldn’t get anybody to diddle her flesh fiddle. As David Letterman read a list of “old virgins” from a tabloid, Fey laughed at the inclusion of her name as a former 24-year-old virgin:

“[I] Couldn’t give it away. That’s just good, Christian values, or, being homely.”

Aw, 24 ain’t so old. Well, at least if you’re Gary Coleman.

Naked Supermodel Butt to Brighten Your Day

Agent E. — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:00:34 +0000

With celebrities dropping like John Mayer's pants at a sorority mixer, there's one thing we could all use today. And that one thing is video of a ridiculously pretty lady, totally naked but artfully hiding most of her nakedness with an Egyptian cotton sheet, writhing around on a bed while soft, romantic music plays. Doesn't that sound nice? Maybe not as nice as if she lost the sheet, but we'll take it. So enjoy this video of supermodel Bar Refaeli's nude ass. We don't know why she's being filmed naked, but we like it. If this is how Bar celebrates a break-up, then we hope George Clooney swoops in and snatches her up. For about a week.

This Is Not a Rihanna Sex Tape, but You'll Watch It Anyway

Agent E. — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 16:58:42 +0000

So. Rihanna. You think you saw her naked, right? We’re not so sure. We still don’t trust nudie pictures without a face. Just too sketchy. But we’re willing to leave it open to debate. Maybe the intention of those pictures was to keep us guessing. Maybe Chris Brown has a really rare fetish wherein he likes his naked chicks decapitated (at least we hope that’s rare). Who knows. But this. This we don’t buy. AT ALL. After the cut is a short clip that is reportedly from a Rihanna sex tape. But honey, no. This here is some chick from the Bronx whose boyfriend said, “You look like that Rihanna. She’s hot right now. I could make a lot of money if you let me tape us having sex. I’ve got this sweet camera from like 1999. I swear I’ll buy you shit when I make lots of money off of our fake Rihanna sex tape. You like candy necklaces, right?” Watch the NSFW clip yourself after the cut.

Hey Looky, Jessica Biel's Boobies. In Motion!

Agent E. — Mon, 11 May 2009 17:30:17 +0000

Hey turds. Have you forgotten about Jessica Biel nude in Powder Blue? Have you moved on to something else by now, like Hannah Montana-inspired porn? Well, let’s assume that you haven’t passed that threshold just yet and are still able to appreciate life’s simple pleasures, like a huge celebrity showing her tits in a (surely crappy) straight-to-DVD movie. If you need more extreme forms of entertainment, obviously you’re on the wrong website. Just try typing “bukkake” into Google and take your pick. Hey, we’re just here to help. For the rest of you, here’s Jessica Biel nude in Powder Blue, in live motion. Don’t say we ain’t never gave you nothing’.

Eat That Chicken, Megan Fox

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:56:16 +0000

Megan Fox doesn’t seem to make movies, despite being an actress. Her job is being sex on wheels and she’s pretty good at it. Luckily, the good people at Esquire magazine noticed that she isn’t ugly and decided to shoot her in HD for a photo spread and video. Daily Mail says:

Photographer Greg Williams shot the hottest actress with a hi-tech Red One camera, which meant he could grab stills of her at the end. He recorded ten minutes of loosely scripted footage – getting out of bed, rolling around on a pool chair, lighting a barbecue.

ëIt allowed her to act,í Williams says. `She could run scenes without being reminded by the sound of a shutter every four seconds that I was taking a picture.í

Williams was then left with ten minutes of footage which he turned into a mini-film called ëGood Morning, Megan Fox.í

Megan’s twitching around like a kindergartener with pinworms, but other than that, this is a sexy-ass no-brainer. Watch it. It’s every dude’s fantasy of what a woman looks like when she’s alone–writhing awake with a smile and an arched back to slip into a crisp, white men’s shirt, then a hot low-cut swimsuit, then an impossibly tight black dress to bend over, ass in the air, to sensually apply lip gloss. In reality, dames wake up with rotten cheese breath and pad off to the bathroom in sweatpants and a T-shirt with a cat on it to fart a little and pop some blackheads. But honestly, if Megan Fox was doing that stuff, it would still be a magically erotic journey of lust and desire.

(Better quality version here)

Why Aren't JCVD and Wino on Barbara Walters's Most Fascinating People List?

Agent E. — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:03:22 +0000

There are certain celebrities who can get away with flirting with interviewers, no matter how creepy they seem. George Clooney or Angelina Jolie could probably have full-penetration sex with an Inside Edition reporter and the audience would just say, “Aw, that’s so charming!” Ben Affleck almost DID have sex with an interviewer and it was hilarious. But when Jean-Claude Van Damme outright hits on the lady interviewing him, it’s just creepy. Just take a moment to get past his gibberish and get totally skeeved out (interview via Celebitchy):

Thereës a monologue in the film about being a washed-up action star. Did you improvise that?
I like structureólike driving: go past the school on the street, stay on the right side, no hitting the car, go in right, youíll see a big church, stop and take a left, and youíll have it. By doing this Iím giving a structure of life, a path of light, and showing what happens between me and me, which is something very beautiful.

Beautiful? Why?
I really opened myself up in ìJCVD.î I peeled back the skin of the fruit, cut the pulp and then took that very hard seed. In this film I cut that hard seed, and inside that seed was a kind of liquid cream substance of the man I am, or the woman you are.

OK ó
It was like being nakedóI would love to be naked in front of you.

Well, I ó
Not being naked being naked. I say such things in Hong Kong and they thought I was being a crazy Frenchman. Being naked of protection.

So youëve no regrets at all?
Believe meóIíve done very good stuff and very crazy stuff, and I donít regret the crazy stuff. So are you in New York?

Yes, I am.
And are you 27, or 32?

Iëm 22.
Oh, fñññ. That is very young. Will you come to the premiere?

I don ë t know. When is it?
I donít know. You will wear all black, a black dress and high heels?

Uh ó
You can come find me, I will be the one with the very broad shoulders, dark hair and a simple suit. We can have some champagne, you and me.

The best part is that after he tells her he wants to be naked in front of her, he basically says he’s tried that line before and was lucky he wasn’t chased through Hong Kong with pitchforks. You’ve gotta love the man’s determination to make a creepy pick-up line work.

Oh, and speaking of creepy interviews, Amy Winehouse is at it again, chatting up anyone who rings her buzzer. Don’t miss this video if you’re really into detailed discussions of X Factor. Otherwise, just look out for Wino’s giggle. We’re thinking of making it our ringtone.

Jack Black Ruins Angelina Jolie's Wombly Secret

Agent E. — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:50:00 +0000

Don't you love it when celebrities confirm things we've known for like three years? But in the case of Angelina Jolie being tricked into admitting she's saddling two specimens of human perfection in her lady chamber, at least she wasn't all, "I'm not pregnant, I swear. I just really love huge billowy dresses all of the sudden," and then finally own up like a month before she popped like a certain zombie-espoused famous lady we know. So way to be more honest than someone there, Ang. Or rather, way to let someone else spill the big news for you, as Jack Black does in the following Today interview. It's long, and it does contain Jack Black doing kung fu kicks and using his "I'm Jack Black and I'm mettttalllll" voice, so to save you the agony, here's the gist of it: Jack Black is a secret-ruining, scraggly, scruffy dillweed. Oh, and so is Dustin Hoffman, possibly minus the scraggly, scruffy part, as he blabbed Angie's due date, which is August 19th. So what does Angie think of her tattletale Kung Fu Panda (ugh) castmates (when the cameras aren't rolling, of course)? Just take a gander at that photo up there; we're pretty sure that Angie boxed Jack about the ears but good as soon as the photog was through. Either that or she really wants Madonna's ropy guns and is trying to achieve that sinewy look through extreme fist exercises.

You know Angelina is naked at MrSkin.com. Go there. Now. Watch.

Angelina Jolie Is a Heroin(e)

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 01 May 2008 17:50:27 +0000

Prior to adopting underprivileged children from foreign lands, Angelina Jolie was smoking various sundry powders from foreign lands. According to the always dubious Starpulse, some dude approached the National Enquirer with a tape that allegedly shows Ms. Jolie sucking a dong. A glass dong. Filled with heroin.

The Enquirerís source claims the tapeís owner is seeking $70,000 for its sale – telling the tabloid, ìIt appears to be from the 1990s, right before Angelina – then in her 20s – was breaking out in films like Gia and Girl, Interrupted, which won her an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.

ìThe key part of the tape is Angelina doing heroin. She says, ëWow, this is really good smack – not that cheap crap thatís been stepped on.í Angelina is seen sniffing white lines from a plate, and then as the drug cooks on tinfoil, she deeply sucks in its smoke through a tube.î

There is a lesson to be learned here. And that's if you are on the verge of international superstardom and someone points a camera at you while you are smoking illegal narcotics, to never vocally identify the heroin as such, because then you can pass it off as Lik-M-Aid through a hookah. Another lesson is to not smoke heroin on film, but that's secondary. The first lesson is the one you want to really take note of here.

No drugs but lots of nude Angelina at MrSkin.com.

Scarlett Johansson's "Falling Down" Video Will Have You Falling Asleep

Agent E. — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:50:55 +0000

What can we say about Scarlett Johansson’s first music video? There are no bright colors to shock your not-fully-awake brain. Um, what else? She obviously made this song for a love of the music, because no one in their right mind would think it’s going to be the next “Best of Both Worlds.” The only time you could use the word “hit” in conjunction with the song is when you’re talking about how your head hit the desk after you fell asleep from boredom. But, hey, for that one person out there whose biggest wish in life is to witness ScarJo’s pre-photo-shoot makeup ritual, get out your best ceremonial dagger because your life is complete and it’s finally hari kari time. Otherwise, there’s not much to recommend, unless you have the stamina to make it all the way to the end, where you will be rewarded with Salman Rushdie nuzzling Scarlett’s neck. Why? Because Norman Mailer is dead.

Scarlett Johansson doesn’t sing at MrSkin.com, but she does flash boob.

Isabella Rossellini Gets Insectually Sexual

Agent E. — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:59:39 +0000

For today’s Sexy Lady Story, we’re looking to something a bit unconventional. Sure, it involves the word “porno,” internationally adored sexy person Isabella Rossellini, and hot, uncensored sex, which are all conventionally sexy things. But it also involves papier-m‚chÈ, wings, compound eyes, and the mastication of the male’s head during copulation. For, you see, Isabella has made a series of short films where she dresses up like insects and schtups other insects. Sexy, right? Check out the Sundance Channel interview below to hear Isabella talk about her bug boinking and see a few clips, or catch some stills at Twitch Film. But don’t blame us the next time you pop a boner watching a cockroach scurry across your bathroom floor.