You heard us.

Hollywood is full of sidekicks. Abbott and Costello. Stiller and Meara. Hilton and Richie. And now, Barton and Silvstedt. Our gossip father confessor, FemaleFirst, tells the tale:

Mischa Barton and Victoria Silvstedt had a dramatic bust-up at a lavish Cannes party on Tuesday.

The pair arrived at the exclusive bash thrown by jewellers De Grisogono at Hotel du Cap's Eden Roc club together, but tempers soon flared.

Mischa, 21, was reportedly unimpressed with Victoria following her around and tried to shake her off, but her attempts did not go unnoticed by the blonde Playboy Playmate.

Victoria, 32, was overheard yelling: "Where the hell are you going now? Why do you keep walking away from me?"

The former 'The O.C.' star angrily responded, saying: "We're not even going in the same direction. We're not going to the same place."

… things came to a head when Mischa bumped into an angry Victoria as she tried to leave the party at 4am.

A source told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "Mischa was fed up of Victoria's whining and was telling her to move on. But Victoria completely lost it. Just as Mischa was leaving she shouted, 'There goes the bitch! There goes the bitch!' It was highly embarrassing."

Just when we were feeling the stinging loss of Anna Nicole Smith the hardest, her replacement steps right in, almost seamlessly. Ahhhh.

Mischa is too cool for school at MrSkin.com.

And Victoria's there, popping out. Way out.

ï Lara Flynn Boyle decorated her razory clavicles with flowers, tied some white ribbons around her prominent ulnae, rubbed some pink gloss on her colossal plastic lips, and got herself married. Mazel tov!

ï Nicolette Sheridan donned sheer hose with no visible pants (aka "pulling an Olsen"). Pauly Shore took a long, hard look. And pop went the Weasel. Groan, sorry.

ï Sienna Miller offers a hot new diet plan to impressionable teenage girls: just drink vodka! Oh, don't look at us like that. It's a much more heathful alternative than the Lohan "strawberry booger sugar diet" or the Nicole Richie "oxygen and carbon dioxide" diet.

ï Or maybe Lohan's on the "energy drink and pretzel diet", how the fuck should we know?

ï Your office holiday party hookup was indiscreet and regrettable, but at least no photographic evidence exists. Christian Slater and Sharon Stone's holiday jaunt isn't faring quite so well.

ï The beautiful, talented, and intelligent Victoria Silvstedt really really hates shirts.

ï We're glad Mollygood agrees with us: Adam Brody's Ian McCulloch hair is kinda hot.

ï Miss USA Tara Connor was nearly stripped of her crown after pageant owner Donald Trump got wind of the fact that she was drinking underage, failed a drug test for cocaine, and was making out with Miss Teen USA in public. When asked why he allowed her to retain her title, Trump said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

ï Lohan castoff Harry Morton is now feasting on the pink taco attached to Kimberly Stewart.

ï K-Hole es no preggo.

ï Martha Stewart briefly dated Anthony Hopkins, but could not bring herself to cook him fava beans with a nice Chianti.

Round two finds us with a woman who, without the centuries-old art of the red-carpet flash, would be completely unknown to anyone but her plastic surgeon and her pomeranian–Victoria Silvstedt. We don't know who she is; we don't know what she does. But her existence is beginning to persuade us that there is such a thing as a professional charity-event nipple flasher, which is OK by us. (Hollywood Tuna has more of Vic's tits.)

And lastly we've got a little poky action from Jennifer Aniston. We know it's not much, but when you consider that this is a women who has not been seen in clothing any color but black, beige, or white for something like five years, you'll understand that some nipple pokage is the most interesting thing she could muster up. This woman even displaying cleavage would be like Bai Ling thrusting a camera lens into her wide-open beaver. So take what you can get, fellas. (Hollywood Rag has more Jen poking.)

Paris is super nude at MrSkin.com.

So's Victoria.

And even demure Jennifer coughs up some nudity.

"It was in the village in which I grew up, in northern Sweden. It was at the guy's place. I was 13 and he was 14. But I was mature at that age – I felt like I was about 20. People in Sweden start earlier than in Britain – it's more of a natural thing to experience it at a younger age. It was a great experience and it was the first time for the guy too. We tried out a load of things but I have to say it was over very, very quickly. I was like, 'Wow, but is that it?'"

When we were thirteen, we were busy weeding our neighbor's garden for pocket money with which to purchase as many packs of Garbage Pail Kids cards as possible in hopes that we'd finally get Formalde Heidi. Victoria Silvstedt, on the other hand, was busy trying the reverse wheelbarrow and Juicy Jackhammer positions with her eighth grade boyfriend. And that's why she's a famous loose woman and we are . . . who we are.

Is Victoria naked at MrSkin.com? Well, duh.

ï Most women look all glowy and happy and shiny and fresh when they're all knocked up. Gwyneth Paltrow? Ehhhhh, not so much.

ï Thar she blows! A hump like a snowhill! It's Britney, breaching and proving that yes, the Murphy's Mart Five and Dime off Cub Run Highway in central Kentucky does, in fact, have a swimwear line!

ï An Olsen twin with her right teat hanging out? HOW RUDE!

ï PETA urges our vice president to shoot Eva Longoria in the face. Yes, you read that correctly.

ï We're kind of grossing ourselves out over the fact that we think Avril Lavigne is suddenly utterly alluring.

ï Betty White. Naked. Eh, she's no Rue McClanahan.

ï Carmen Electra and Victoria Silvstedt fake make out, legions of dudes in fake tans and Gotti boy hairdos cream.

ï Not satisfied with adopting needy children from across the Earth, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt branch out and adopt a beautiful new baby from the planet Owens-Corning and debut their new child in all her rosy, fluffy glory in Paris. Congrats to the new parents!

So, what is that? The world’s most microscopic thong? An errant scrap of Cottonelle? A pantyliner sans panty? Only Victoria and God know the answer, but we like it.

Haven’t seen enough of Victoria’s anatomy? There’s more at MrSkin.com.

ï Awwww. Look at the cute gay midget. It thinks it's butch.

ï Jen Aniston's not a playa; she just hugs a lot.

ï The charming Nicole Richie gives Paris a run for her money in the paid partygoer department; tragically misplaces her breasts in the process.

ï Victoria Silvstedt continues sex-drenched vacation, loses li'l Napoleon consort, shows off surgeon's work.

ï We could've sworn we'd heard that Avril Lavigne and that one dude from that one band were engaged months ago, but they really are now, for real this time.

ï Erstwhile Erkel-esque "comedian" Chris Tucker gets pulled over for speeding; makes us laugh for the first time ever!

Anyway. The ass-digging, people. Please note the ass-digging.

See those melons, up close and personal: Vicky Silvstedt nude at MrSkin.com.