"Victoria has wanted her implants taken out for a while. She felt that was part of her old image – the big hair, big boobs, fake tan – and that she has moved on since those days. She had the op three weeks ago and is very pleased with the results. After the op she came to London for business then went to France to heal properly in private.î

We're excited to see Posh with a more natural look. However, "more natural" for her would mean going from half casaba melons inside her chest cavity to subcutaneous cannonballs. Posh, we don't even know you anymore.

ï Kendra Wilkinson says she sneaked some contraband penis into the Playboy mansion. (Yeeeah!)

ï Victoria Beckham models for Armani skivvies; miraculously does not look like a praying mantis while doing so. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Did Paula Abdul get her schnozz whacked?
(Cityrag)

ï Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey spice up their sex life with provocative dancing. Unfortunately, it's Jim who's sporting the unitard. (Evil Beet)

ï You should probably watch the premiere of The Beast tonight. If you don't, Patrick Swayze will get sad and die. (Seriously OMG WTF)

ï Hey, it's Nicollette Sheridan in her underdrawers. Wouldja lookit that. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were trapped under the same roof and it didn't even end up in a bloody dance-off. Mature! (Holy Moly)

It looks like the credit crunch is hitting the celebrity world as well as us mere mortals, with the Beckhams, Miley Cyrus and Joan Collins all been hit my the economic crisis.

Football's golden couple, David and Victoria Beckham may make millions ever year from Brand Beckham but they are not immune to the problems in the housing market. The couple have had to slash the price of their Madrid home after the £6.5 million mansion has been on the market for 17 months and has yet to sell.

The Beckhams are not alone. Supermodel Gisele B¸ndchen has also cut the asking price of her Manhattan penthouse from $10.9m (around £5.5m) to a paltry $5.9m (around £3m).

Former Dynasty actress Joan Collins was once the highest paid actress on television. But she was spotted last week doing her weekly food shop in American discount supermarket, Target. However she did then load her carrier bags into a Rolls Royce, which we're sure fitted in with the other cars in the car park!

Disney's teenage superstar Miley Cyrus has had her credit card confiscated by her mum after overspending. Your heart bleeds doesn't it.

Man, we really feel for these people. Where is their economic bailout package? Shouldn't there be some sort of provision in the Constitution that says that middle Americans are required by law to buy the products of the rich and famous in tough economic times so that they do not have to do the unthinkable, like switch from Cristal to Veuve Clicquot? Louis Vuitton to Coach? (Yes, we know that only one of the people mentioned in American. Just roll with it, people.)

Victoria and David Beckham are set to be turned into superheroes.

Stan Lee, the legend behind comic books including 'Spider-Man' and 'Fantastic Four', thinks the soccer player and his former Spice Girls star wife would be perfect candidates for his next publication.

He said: "I recently got this wild idea – everyone's heard of David and Victoria Beckham, right? They're great looking, talented and colourful. Now, here's the exciting part, just imagine how cool they'd be in a humorous, good-natured show that depicts them as, you guessed it – superheroes!"

Stan, who also revealed he is keen to immortalise Beatles legend Ringo Starr, hotel heiress Paris Hilton and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in comic book form, enjoys conjuring up alter egos for the world's biggest stars.

He added to US TV show 'Access Hollywood': "I get a real kick out of working with fun celebrities and exploring the exciting possibilities of their secret superhero selves. If they'll just say the word, nothing could be more natural than including David and Victoria in our riotous roster of superhero stars!"

Stan Lee may be old, but we bet he's still on the cutting edge of pop culture and not afraid of being provocative. So we're assuming that Becks' special power will involve the gigantic bulge in his Armani undies. And Posh's superpower, of course, will be maintaining normal organ functions on 67 calories a day.


See Victoria Beckham's sexy side at MrSkin.com.

ï Britney Spears vows cellulitecy. No, wait, celibacy. (EntertainmentWise)

ï Behold! It's Zuma Zoom Zoom Lunesta Rocknrolla Rossdale! (Yeeeah!)

ï Victoria Beckham will model lingerie for Emporio Armani. Because nothing says seduction like screw-on tits and visible vertebrae. (Holy Moly)

ï Britney sports some futuristic camel toe. (Cityrag)

ï Bill Pullman's son was arrested for possessing moonshine. One more time: Bill Pullman's son was arrested for possessing moonshine. (CelebWarship)

ï Adam Levine from Maroon 5 is a surprisingly successful cocksman. Now he's nabbed Sophie Monk, the lucky so-and-so. (Daily Stab)

ï Julia Roberts said "no one wants to see an old hooker." See it? We live it, baby! (Evil Beet)

ï Meadow Soprano is dating Turtle. (Hollywood Backwash)

Nobody likes falling victim to birds' mess dropping on them from above – even though it is supposed to bring good luck.

But for Victoria and David Beckham it is more a case of bird poo bringing them a good look, rather than good luck.

Victoria, who has long battled problem skin, puts her new clear complexion down to a bizarre new beauty regime involving bird poo.

And it seems David has been getting involved too.

It has emerged that the stylish couple have been indulging in beauty treatments to improve their skin.

Victoria, 34, has been regularly indulging in £100 Geisha Facials, using a paste made from nightingale droppings, to combat acne she has suffered since her teens.

A pal told Closer magazine: 'When Victoria was in Japan recently she was admiring the local womenís clear skin and discovered it was down to these facials.

'She was intrigued and when she got back to the US she found that some New York beauty salons now offer the treatment.

'She tried it and loved how great her skin looked. She also uses a cream derived from nightingale poo at home.'

We've been down a similar road, with stories of Wino and Vanessa Williams trickling the tinkle on their visages. But bird poop seems a bit extreme. These sorts of stories always make us imagine the discovery of the magical properties of such a substance. "Hey, Paw, c'mere. I done got a zit on my face. What'mi gonna do?" "Aw don worry, I jus sawr a bird shit in the field ov'r thar. Stick yer face in it and that thing'll clear right up."

Big-mouthed Kelly Osbourne couldnít help firing out a round of verbal abuse towards fellow guests at New York Fashion week, lashing out the ëfakeí friendship of Victoria Beckham and Jennifer Lopez.

ìI know itís not my place to sayÖ but Iíve never seen two people pretend to like each other more in my life. They were holding hands, but it looked like Victoria was holding a shitty bit of toilet paper,î she confided, not very subtly, to Heat magazine.

Well, J.Lo does have infant twins (that she's rearing completely by herself without any hired help, of course), so you never know what could've been on her hand.

The former Spice Girls star is said to be worried that her flaws have been exposed since cutting her hair short in a 'pixie' style and she is willing to go under the knife to improve the apparent problem area.

A source said: "All eyes are now on her neck because there's nowhere to hide it, so Victoria wants to see if she can do anything to improve it.

"She's been saying that it looks wrinkled and compromised. She's seriously considering having work done."

We're sure there are plastic surgeons out there who find one area of the anatomy they excel at making look awesome (you know, if by awesome you mean fake, bloated, drugged, and Mickey Rourke-ish) and stick with it. Undoubtedly there are boob-job specialists and rhinoplasty specialists. But is it possible that in the world somewhere there is one Cayman Islands-educated doctor who said to himself, "The neck is the most wonderful and beautiful part of the human body. It is my life's mission to make sure that no 35+ rich lady ever sees flabs or folds or wrinkles upon its pristine surface"? Because that's pretty pathetic, as special purposes go. Especially when compared to Navin R. Johnson's special purpose.

îYes, it is true that Victoria and I are setting up a restaurant in LA. together. Iím really excited. Sheís really keen to focus on a traditional English-style menu, like bangers and mash, fish and chips and such like.î

That's so weird because we would assume the dinner menu at Posh's house is half a stalk of celery in air sauce followed by chewing on a toothpick and Dulcolax for dessert.