CelebNewsWire» upskirt shots Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: Goose Egg

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:00:55 +0000

Rihanna has a big lump on her head. So she either went back to Chris “Doo Doo” Brown or she’s growing horns. The latter is more believable. (Gone Hollywood)
Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima gives birth to baby girl; is probably not a virgin anymore. (PopEater)
Victoria’s Secret model Shannan Click naked. Totally, truly, NSFW naked naked. It’s pretty funny that a model has the last name “Click”. That would be like a dentist named Dr. Bzzzzzrrrrt or CelebNewsWire’s last name being a fart sound. (Yeeeah!)
Beyonce upskirt, but she’s got underwear on so don’t get too jazzed or nuthin. (Cityrag)
New Moon star Noot Seear nude. Which makes you a Nood Seer. Haw! (Nudography)
Ashley Tisdale wears a bikini. Also, I got a splinter yesterday. It hurt! (CelebSlam)
Lily Allen has a secret half sister! Dun dun DUN! (Anything Hollywood)
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Little Girl Wonders Why Scary Lady Isn’t Wearing Any Pants

Agent E. — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:48:02 +0000

Sometimes at weddings, a bride will have a little girl hold the train of her dress, making sure it doesn’t get tangled while walking down the aisle. And usually the little girl is happy to be half of the center of attention and smiles while performing her duty. That, or she looks distracted cause she’s thinking about eating some Dippin’ Dots at the mall with Nick Jonas. But when Pam Anderson enlists a small child to help keep the train of her very classy gown from becoming a nuisance, the expression on that child’s face is a mixture of confusion and horror. Why? Because this was what was staring the poor thing right in the kisser.

So You Think You Can Gash

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:26:19 +0000

We don’t watch So You Think You Can Dance because we’re not Methodist housewives who collect Winnie the Pooh figurines (yet) but we might have to start if the contestants keep insisting on biting it onstage while not wearing underwear. The staid and stuffy world of ballroom dancing sure has opened up over the past few years, what with all the new dances such as the Cho-Cha and the Poontango and the Box Trot.

Close up ham tunnel after the cut.

No Flashlee for Ashlee

Agent E. — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 15:20:08 +0000

That picture over there to your left, that’s Ashlee Simpson at the launch party for her new, groundbreaking, sure to cure the world of all ills, like cankles and visible roots, show Melrose Place. Or, to put it another way, that’s Ashlee Simpson before the open bar. Sure, the girl has money (somehow), but she knows a good deal when she sees it. Whether it’s a clearance sale on wrist cuffs at Hot Topic, or free, plentiful rum and Cokes, Ashlee’s all in. What she’s not in for, though, is the public seeing her pubic. She’s learned a few things from those who have gone before her. Things like month-old wax jobs don’t make for the prettiest pictures. So just in case Ashlee wasn’t wearing undies and/or needed a new Brazilian (she probably couldn’t remember at that point), she had a helper to assist her in keeping her legs together while exiting a car. Hmmm. Is that job better or worse than the person who holds Mariah Carey’s straw while she drinks? Worse. We’re going with worse.

Since we want to be just like Ashlee (only with more crotch shots) we’re on the Twitters. Follow us, brah.

Gerard Butler Dumps Jennifer Aniston

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 15:56:29 +0000

What’s worse than getting dumped for Renee Zellweger? Getting dumped into the back of a car. And having, possibly, a flank of labia steak flap out. And having someone take a picture. And then having them blow it up. And then having them put it, full page, in the New York Post. The tabloids love painting Jennifer Aniston as a put-upon, unlovable sad sack spinster, but we’re not sure how this new persona is going to fly. Then again, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears made pretty decent careers out of flashing their poons near vehicles, so that shows how much we know.

She Hit Me and It Felt Like a Puss

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 17:43:06 +0000

Hey, Naomi Campbell is doing better. All those anger management classes seem to be working. She’s no longer throwing hand-held communication devices at people’s heads. Now she’s throwing her stubbly chick chasm in people’s faces. You will not bear the imprint of a Blackberry on your forehead, but you may get a wicked case of razor burn. Win some, lose some.

Naomi’s nude upskirt is safely tucked away under the cut.

Ali Larter Dives for Spare Change

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 16:58:48 +0000

Contrary to popular belief, CelebNewsWire isn't just scabies and poop jokes. No, we have a philosophical mind and we often ponder weighty issues. What is the meaning of life? Are we humans alone in the universe? If there is a very thin white string of cotton stretched taut across a bunghole, is that nudity? We haven't figured out the first two, but on that last question, we're going with no. Which is why these upskirt pics of Heroes star Ali Larter's ass cheeks dangling out of the back of her skirt are on the front page instead of hidden under a cut. If your boss gives you jive about looking at these pictures at work, just silently point to the butt floss, then point to your eyes, then point to your boss, then point to your butt, then point to your boss's butt, then flip the bird. He'll get the picture.

The Goose Shows Us Where Her Gosselins Come From

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:58:26 +0000

After Michael Jackson shuffled off this mortal coil, we were certain that we wouldn't hear another word about Jon and Kate Plus 8 or Octomom. We were pretty much right about the Octomom, but the Gosselins seem to be holding steady in the tabloids. Although post-MJ, the focus has shifted from Kate being a cold-hearted snake with striped hair to Jon in mall biker wear cavorting with a girl whose greatest skill is being able to fashion a bong out of any household item. But let's not lose sight of what's important here, people! And that's Kate being a total prick. Oh, and the fact that "Kate Gosselin upskirt" is still holding steady in the search terms list in our stats. Look what we found today! The very thing you seek. We're like Daryl Hall. We make your dreams come true.

Class Attracts Class

Agent E. — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:50:01 +0000

We know Paris Hilton loves paparazzi and lets them do about anything as long as she has at least three pics in every issue of Us Weekly. But she understands that dude with a camera ≠ guy who sells pictures to major magazines. This dude right here, he's just a douchebag with a hundred dollar camera from Target. If he captures a picture of Paris's panties and/or poontang, it's not going in In Touch; it's going on Facebook. And it's getting comments from the slimeball's jagoff friends like, "Duuuuuude, that pussy looks RIPE. Why didn't you try to slip a few fingers in it? You must be a fag," and, "Totally. I so would have snuck up really close and taken a few licks. You're a pussy,†man."

Harry Potter and the Half-Shown Panties

Agent E. — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:58:25 +0000

Harry Potter star Emma Watson really knows how to celebrate a momentous occasion. When she turned 18, she decided to show the world her Hufflemuff, and she got so into the Hogwarts lore that she did it through striped panties to match the stripes of the Hufflepuff house scarf. So at the London premiere of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last night, Emma got into the spirit again, giving us a flash of her panties. Sure, they're very practical, not-too-sexy flesh-colored briefs, but still: panties. And you might be saying to yourself, "But, CelebNewsWire, Emma arrived on the red carpet during a rain storm. It was very windy. She could not control where the wind sent her dress." "But young Daniel-san," we say, "look at that first pic down there. It's as if she's pulling her dress aside purposefully, saying "Look at me, boys, I'm legal!'" And who knows, if this is how she celebrates the release of a children's movie, maybe once she's starring in more adult fare she'll pull out a boob Tara Reid style while signing autographs.