Tag Archives: underwear
Pretty Ladies in Their Skivvies
You might wonder why we’re bothering to yammer on about supermodels in their underwear when we’ve got actual naked supermodels to talk about, but you know what? Fuck it. We like the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show and we don’t care who knows it. Heidi Klum’s usually there, and she’s pretty and funny and we [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Alessandra Ambrosio, Doutzen Kroes, Heidi Klum, Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr, Victoria's Secret
Leave a comment
Leighton Meester Demonstrates Twoface Abilities
That picture to your left there? That’s Leighton Meester when she’s allowed to do her own makeup. She looks like she’s about to dislocate her jaw so that she can wrap those clown lips completely around your head and slurp you up in one fluid swallow. But below we have a more pleasing representation. GQ [...]
Um, Leighton Meester Might Be Hot. We Think.
The great thing about Blair Waldorf, Leighton Meester’s character on Gossip Girl, is that under those designer prep school clothes and perfectly placed headbands you just know that the girl is crazy freaky. We don’t get quite enough of that on the show, thanks to those uppity parents who are all like, “Two girls kissing? [...]
Jennifer Love Hewitt Whispers to Ghosts Via Stripper Pole
We don’t know that much about the show Ghost Whisperer. Here’s what we’ve gleaned: it has something to do with ghosts; it stars Jennifer Love Hewitt; she has huge bazookas. OK, that last part has nothing to do with the show, but it’s still important. Also, it’s on CBS, meaning the average viewing age for [...]
Olivia Munn Makes Dorks Happy (Both Kinds, Actually)
Do you want to know a secret about the internet? Nerds keep it alive. You might think that the internet’s true purpose is cute kitty videos on YouTube or for you to stalk your high-school classmates on Facebook. But no. It’s to keep geeks happy. Do you think that your company’s IT guy is sitting [...]
January Jones’s GQ Outtakes: Less Boob, More Chair
We’re sure that somewhere in this vast world of ours there is a man with a ridiculously narrow fetish for hot blonde television stars in lingerie falling over in chairs. And likely if this man exists, he’s probably lurking around our neighborhood, peeking in the CelebNewsWire windows waiting for his ultimate moment. One day he [...]
Megan Fox to Wear Underwear Professionally
Despite being fair of face and figure and having a very photogenic tongue, Megan Fox isn’t doing so hot. Jennifer’s Body turned out to be a box-office failure, her director and Transformers crew hate her, and she’s still porking Brian Austin Green. But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and [...]
That Is Also a Pretty Dress
You almost certainly had a social studies teacher who wore a mint Sta-Prest pantsuit and a holiday themed brooch well into the ’90s, but she wasn’t out of style. She just found a look that worked for her. The same goes for Rihanna. Only instead of Mrs. Potter’s ankle-length Dacron, Rihanna’s go-to fabric is something [...]
Kelly Brook Proffers Enormous Breasts in Loaded
Today’s stories are about a dead DJ, Candy Spelling’s dog, and Macauley Culkin’s semen. We are imagining that if someone happened upon the CelebNewsWire by accident and were faced with this trio of terror, they’re probably not likely to bookmark. So like Secret on a lady’s underpits, we must pH balance our content. CNW is [...]