CelebNewsWire» Tiffani Thiessen Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: Sammy Snow-sa

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:27:50 +0000

Sammy Sosa used to be a Dominican dude, right? Not a Cullen-white green-eyed guy? We didn’t just make that up? (Gabby Babble)
It’s all right cuz she’s saved by the fetus: Tiffani (-Amber) Thiessen is with child. (PopEater)
Lilogate continues: in more tapes, Lindsay Lohan’s charming and selfless parents allege that she was porking Heath Ledger when he died. Riiiiight. (Celebitchy)
Pete Wentz says that he was unable to write music after his son was born. Quick, Ashlee! Have more babies stat! (Angry Ape)
Please, God. Please, please, please. If you exist, you’ll let this be true: A-Rod has hanging in his home a painting of himself as a centaur. (LA Times)
Carrie Prejean has a sex tape. CelebNewsWire doesn’t give a shit. (Bitten and Bound)
Katy Perry has “RUSTY” written on her ass, apparently to broadcast her love of the rusty trombone. (Fatback)
Jennifer Lopez is blocking the release of her sex tape. Blocking it with her big huge giant ass? (Mr. Skin)
Paz de la Huerta is naked in the upcoming Limits of Control. We’re talking full NSFW pissflaps here, people! (Nudography)

Finally! Dustin Diamond To Reveal Secrets of Saved by the Bell!

Agent E. — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:26:39 +0000

You saw his huge (possibly stunt doubled) dong in Saved by the Smell. (We can't remember if that was the real title or a joke, but we're going with it.) You saw him getting dirty (and literally poo-covered) with two ladies and wondered how much they got paid for the privilege. Now you can hear, in his own ghost-written words, about the wild nights on the Saved by the Bell set. Man, was it crazy. Some nights they ate so many Pixie Sticks they could hardly stand up. It was just like SNL circa '78. Reports WENN:

Dustin Diamond will lay bare the behind-the-scenes secrets from his years as Screech on Saved By The Bell in a new book.

The actor, 31, who played the lovable nerd on the U.S. sitcom and its spin-offs from 1989 to 2000, will expose for the first time what Diamond and his castmembers, including Mario Lopez and Elizabeth Berkley, got up to off set.

Behind The Bell, which Diamond will pen with the aid of a ghostwriter, will reveal "sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying," reports People.com.

What kind of "sexual escapades" are we talking here? Are we talking Mario Lopez giving Mr. Belding handjobs in the principal's office? Will we learn that Dustin first learned the art of the Dirty Sanchez from Tori Spelling, a.k.a. Violet Anne Bickerstaff? All we know is that we will only be satisfied if somewhere in the tome someone refers to Mark-Paul Gosselaar's penis as the Zack Attack.

Who's the hottest chick from Saved by the Bell? Find out at MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Lisa, Kelly, or Jessie?

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:38:06 +0000

ï Mr. Skin takes to the streets of Chicago to find out which Saved by the Bell babe is the most wanted in the Windy City. (Mr. Skin)

ï Samantha Ronson blows a load all over Lindsay Lohan. Load, kiss, same thing. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï If Tom Cruise had a comic book. (Holy Taco)

ï Model Miranda Kerr dumps Orlando Bloom for Brandon "Firecrotch!" Davis. Trading a eunuch elf for Fat Elvis? That's kind of a lateral move. (Yeeeah!)

ï Sarah Jessica Parker gets her chin goober removed; now will only be mistaken for Lemmy Kilmeister 50% of the time. (Cityrag)

ï Don't tase me, (Josh) bro(lin)! (The Blemish)

ï Katy Perry wants to kiss a girl. A girl named Miley Cyrus. And we liked it. (Hollywire)

ï Kristin Chenoweth is charming, funny, and has colossal gazongas. (Fatback)

ï Vanessa Hudgens straddles Zac Efron on the beach. She's thinking sex, he's thinking "stop smudging my bronzer." (F-listed)

ï Reggie Bush desires less tush from girlfriend Kim Kardashian. He also hates America, freedom, petting puppies, and ice cream. (Celebitchy)

ï Bret Michaels and Ambre Lake have ended their "relationship". Now Bret can spend more time with his hair and the finest European extensions money can buy. (Celeb Warship)

ï Emmy nominations released; Katherine Heigl's wish comes true when she gets zilch. (Bitten and Bound)

CNW Junk Drawer: Madonna's Aight, Y'all

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 17:00:19 +0000

ï Dennis Rodman says his affair with Madonna was "just alright", not "on a level", and "not all that". Then dropped his Most Hype Sayings of 1992 phrasebook in the toilet, sparing us any references to ". . . and a bag of chips", or Arsenio-style barking.

ï How did B-lister Jared Leto land himself an Ol$en? By packing some excessive toolage, of course. Big dongs. The ladies do seem to enjoy them.

ï Listen, we are slovenly Midwestern crapbags who are ignorant in the sparkly ways of you fancy coastal dwellers, so we don't know who the f this "Fabian Basabe" is. But we do know three things: he's a funny man, a gay man, and a racist man.

ï Whooops, Mariah "The Glitterfly" Carey's clothes fell off! There must be pictures. Where are the damn pictures?

ï Ryan Seacrest would like FOX to give him a raise. Highlights and tan-in-a-can are expensive

ï Tiffani Thiessen gets married! Congrats! Wait, wait, wait. We remember Tiffani-Amber Thiessen from 90210. Who the hell is this "Tiffani Thiessen" person?

ï Pssst! Angelina still likes sex! PASS IT ON.