I would rather have a rectal examination on live TV by a fellow with cold hands than have a Facebook page.

Yeah, we always suspected George had a hard time letting go of Make Out Club and moving on to the new trends.

We have much lower standards than Clooney. So check out our Facebook page!

A dozen male-focused Web sites including AOL's men's lifestyle/humor site Asylum.com ó as well as Ask Men, Just a Guy Thing and Double Viking ó have sanctioned Aug. 4 as a Megan Fox media blackout day.

Why the diss? All the editors feel the starlet has become a bit too overexposed ó and they're not just talking about her fashion sense. Fox has appeared on the covers of Esquire, Empire, Maxim, GQ UK, Entertainment Weekly and Elle this year alone, plus she did heavy press for her role as Mikaela Banes in "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."

"You can have too much of a good thing," says AskMen.com's Editor-in-Chief James Bassil, who tells us, "We're joining in the media blackout and giving our readers a one-day reprieve from the woman we've been drowning in all summer."

One whole day, huh? And you think that's going to get through to her? She'll wake up on the morning of August 4th and race to her computer, thinking, "I hope AskMen said something about how sexy I am today." And then, one by one, she'll check all of her trusty bookmarks and not see one single picture of her tongue or read one single word about how edgy and sexy sexy sexy she is and she'll cry and cry and cry and she'll be so sad that she'll go to the set of her next movie and agree to appear in a full-frontal nude scene because she just doesn't have the will to fight it any more. Is that the plan? Are you all in cahoots with her director? Is this all a set-up? If so, kudos, and we hope it works.

Follow us on Twitter. Because you're "hip" and "with it" and have an abundance of free time.

When Lindsay Lohan stiffed a locksmith following an unnecessary house call, the actress didnít anticipate any public backlash. Then again, Lohan failed to realize a TMZ paparazzo filmed the event. While chatting with the sly cameraman, Lohan admitted she requested the service but felt the locksmith was a ìtotal dickî for demanding money after she and a pal broke into the house on their own. The news prompted negative tweets in the Twitter-verse and left LiLo on the defensive. ìTHERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD THAN A LOCKSMITH @ A HOUSE,î she wrote. ìTURN ON THE WORLD NEWS OR GOOGLE REAL WORLD ISSUES. XOXOXî

We can just see it now: Lindsay walks into some fancy-pants boutique on Robertson Blvd., loads up with leggings-as-pants and threadbare old t-shirts that look like they came from the Salvation Army, and starts to walk out the door. When the clerk stops her to demand payment for the goods, Lindsay huffs, "How can you expect me to pay for clothes when there is war in the world? Don't you watch the news? Don't you know we're in a recession? There are more important things for you to worry about than whether or not I pay for these clothes. God, woman, open your eyes and learn about the horrors going on the world. You're such a dick."

Courtney Love wants to punch Ryan Adams.

The former Hole singer would not hesitate to attack the 'New York, New York' singer if she ever met him in the street.

Courtney wrote on her MySpace blog: "People i would hit if i saw them: Ryan Adams (sic)."

The 44-year-old singer also lashes out at Ryan' new wife Mandy Moore – who married the alternative musician in March – in the confusing rant, saying she does not understand how Mandy can bear to be intimate with him.

She wrote: "Christ ugh igh ugh Mandy Moore ick the thoufghg of her sticking her toungue downthat filthy hatch…i might as well go watch 'Hostelle' ill feel better), ick, dirty sheets, ick no toothbrush, smelly ass, ick i LOATHE that guy (sic)."

This is not the first time Courtney has made disparaging remarks about Ryan on her blog.

Last year, she accused him of stealing $858,000 from her daughter Frances Bean – who was left the money when her father, Courtney's husband Nirvana star Kurt Cobain, committed suicide in 1994 – to make his 2003 album 'Rock n Roll'.

She wrote at the time: "does that makje youf eel like a big man ? stealing from a suicide? A MARTYRED HERO? … as God Is My Witness Ryan you will pay back every f***ing penny of this. 858,000 dollars for Rock n Roll ? wow you were living large- most people reading this dont even know what record or even artist im referring to , as your just this cult americana wanna be dylan thing.

"your ENTIRE album and meals and drugs and Hotels and outboard gear and wasted fabullous guitars STRAIGHT OUT OF FRANCES"S TRUST FUND (sic)."

This is a nice study in descent into madness. In Court's earlier missive, only one sic was necessary. But the more recent rant was pretty much one big, huge sic, especially the "word" thoufghg. It's kind of like watching Drew Barrymore's Little Edie go from free-spirited Baldwin humper to sleeping on a pile of dead cats and raccoons.

Oh, and Courtney found time recently to buy a new face! We guess all those people she's accused of raiding her coffers left a little something in the pile marked "ill-advised facial mutilations." (More pics of Courtney's new face available at Faded Youth.)

Jennifer Aniston reportedly dumped boyfriend John Mayer because of his obsession with social networking website Twitter.

The pair ended their romance earlier this month, with some reports alleging it was Mayer's decision to break up.

But, according to U.K. magazine Star, Aniston ended the relationship after discovering Mayer was spending hours posting updates on Twitter.com, despite claiming he was too busy to get in touch with her.

A source close to Aniston tells the publication, "Jen was fuming. There he was, telling her he didnít have time for her and yet his page was filled with updates! Every few hours, sometimes minutes, heíd update with some stupid line.

"She was like, ëHe has time for all this Twittering, but he canít send me a text, an email, make a call?í He didnít deny it. He knew he was avoiding her. So when she ended things, he just said Ok, and he was sorry it didnít work out.î

God, poor Jen. Girl just can't catch a break. First, her impossibly hunky husband leaves her for a duck-billed platypus in sexy, sexy human form and they have tons of babies together. So obviously the sound of babies is going to make her crazy. Then she seems to find a nice new boyfriend who makes her happy, only he's way too busy tweeting to pay her any attention. So now she can't even hear the gentle song of a tiny little bird outside of her window without crying. What's next? Is her next boyfriend going to find a way to ruin the sound of a purring kitten for her? Is she going to be forced to stick knitting needles in her ears?

P.S. This is our second Twitter-focused post in two days. Does this mean that the medium is officially dead? Cause we kinda like it.

watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!
9:43 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

I'm not wearing the bikini she is that's what makes it so glorious
9:46 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

shhh don't tell wifey http://twitpic.com/2bj58
10:11 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

Don't tell this very famous woman whose ass I am photographing and posting on the internet that I'm photographing her ass and posting it on the internet? Sure, Ashton, we won't tell a soul.

Erykah Badu welcomed her third child Sunday, her rep confirms to Usmagazine.com.

"Erykah gave birth to a baby girl at her home on February 1, 2009 at 1:30 p.m.," the rep tells Us. "The baby's father, [rapper] Jay Electronica, and her two children were in attendance."

The Grammy-winning singer and Electronica sent Twitter messages throughout their daughter's birth, MTV News reports.

"Morning, I'm in labor," Badu announced to her 4,500 followers on Sunday.

The couple chose to deliver at her Brooklyn, New York home with the help of a midwife — who was apparently running late.

"Labor has begun," Electronica wrote. "Everybody stand back. No hospitals. No doctors. No medicine. We're waiting for the midwife to show."

He also announced that Badu's daughter Puma, 7, with rapper D.O.C., and Seven, 10, her son with Andre 3000, were present, and that he was writing updates while rubbing his girlfriend's feet.

Shortly after delivery, Electronica posted: "Feb. 1 2009 my first child, my daughter born at 130 PM exactly. It's the happiest day of my life."

Badu added: "I can't believe it's over. Home birth, no painkillers, about five hours, she was a little past due date, but I didn't mind waiting. Breath."

We wonder if this Jay Electronica was able to catch all of nuances of a home birth. After the child arrived, did he post about waiting for the afterbirth? Cleaning the sheets? How hard it is to get all of that alien goop out of the nooks and crannies of a newborn when you don't have a battalion of trained nurses at your disposal? "Still finding bits of placenta in the kid's ear. 5:39 PM Feb 1 from iPhone"

Spoiler alert: If you check in on Britney Spearsí Twitter feed, Facebook, MySpace page, and other electronic iterations, you might not really be communicating with Britney Spears. You might, however, be communicating with someone who is at the very least, very adept with a standardized test and number-two pencil.

Spearsí online manager posted a job listing for ìBritney Spears 2.0 Media Managerî on a Harvard-only private job board, reports techcrunch.

Among the job requirements: ìyou are addicted to social networks such as MySpace and Facebook. Ö You are a popular culture addict and passionate about the intersection of Silicon Valley and Hollywood.î

Sounds to us like Britney's people want a Harvard type to manage and monitor her social-media presence. Takes that high-priced degree to update one's Facebook status.

You've got the wrong idea, Brit. If you really want to conquer technology, just hire a 12-year-old. You'll save a ton of money.

Jessica Biel was terrified about Ben Stiller touching her breasts in their new movie.

The 25-year-old actress, who stars alongside Stiller in 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry', worked out for weeks to ensure she looked her best for the scene where the comic actor feels her boobs.

Jessica told Style magazine: "I was definitely freaked out about filming that scene where Ben has to inspect my boobs to see if they are natural. I knew it was coming, I thought, 'I've only got a month, three weeks, then two weeks.'

"I had to train pretty hard and stay on a structured diet. I don't like the word 'diet' though, I just kept my eating in check to get to a place with my body where I felt, 'OK, its cool, I can be in a movie in my underwear.' "

Jessica, who plays a lawyer hired by two New York firemen who are pretending to be gay in the film, admits she loved working with Ben.

She added: "I like Ben a lot. He is like a big brother to me. It was such fun doing the movie together."

We just can't put our finger on it. Something's off. But what could it be? Oh, that's it. The story doesn't even mention Ben's fabulous past successes, like Happy Gilmore, The Wedding Singer, and Billy Madison. You gotta give respect where respect is due, FF.


See Biel's "Ben" honked boobles at MrSkin.com.