Tag Archives: Teri Hatcher
Scarlett Johansson Sexier Than Jessica Alba; Adjust Masturbation Schedule Accordingly
Another day, another lad mag tells you whom you should masturbate to tonight. And in what may be the upset of the century–or at least right behind that whole Crash/Brokeback Mountain thing–Scarlett Johansson is now your top masturbatory fantasy. Jessica Alba is crying into her no-nudity clause as we speak.
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Also tagged Angelina Jolie, Carmen Electra, Halle Berry, Jenny McCarthy, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Keira Knightley, magazines, Maria Sharapova, Scarlett Johansson
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CNW Junk Drawer: Like a Virgin
ï A slight look at Kelly Hu's Hu-ters.
ï Teri Hatcher and Ryan Seacrest dating? She says she "really enjoys his company". Well, duh. He knows about all the sample sales ahead of time, and he's so fun to enjoy a decadant whipped yogurt (only 140 creamy, dreamy calories!) with, while getting a deep [...]
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Also tagged Adriana Lima, celeb engagements/weddings, celebrity hookups, celebrity nudity, Jack Black, Kelly Hu, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Bolton, models, Nicollette Sheridan, Pamela Anderson, paparazzi, Paris Hilton, Paulina Rubio, Ryan Seacrest, Scarlett Johansson
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CNW Junk Drawer: Bootylicious. Adj. Sexually attractive, esp. in the buttocks.
ï Teri Hatcher reveals that she was brutally molested as a child by an uncle, and she testified against him recently and helped put him in jail. Go Teri!
ï Mayhaps the Pussycat Dolls should change their name to the Pussyandtittycat Dolls.
ï When your toddler asks you, "Daddy, what does 'bootylicious' mean?" you [...]
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Also tagged celebrity breakups, celebrity nudity, David Hasselhoff, Donald Trump, drugs, Kate Moss, Mariah Carey, music, Yanni
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CNW Junk Drawer: "I Zaid I Want to Fugh Her."
ï Apparently, you can steal cars and shoot heroin and get arrested 20 times a month and yet never see the inside of a jail cell. We're totally moving to the UK. It's like Eden, or Honah-Lee. Only with more crack.
ï Speaking of drugs, Teri Hatcher admits to doing a little recreational Botox. [...]
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Also tagged Brad Renfro, celebrity hookups, Charlize Theron, Daryl Hannah, drugs, Emma Watson, Kate Moss, movies, paparazzi, Pete Doherty, plastic surgery rumors, Serge Gainsbourg, television, Vanna White, Whitney Houston
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Teri Hatchet Face
Do you think if I wear that old sheer nightgown from my made-for-Cinemax movie The Madam and the Stable Boy over my daughter's cheerleading spankies it will distract from the flesh-eating bacteria that have eaten away half of my face? Will it also distract from the fact that I applied my makeup with a bazooka? [...]
Hatcher's Humpwagon
Ohmigod, did you guys hear about Teri Hatcher? She, like, keeps a van in her backyard and stuff? And in that van, she totally goes all the way.
With boys.
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Warning: Mad Elephant!
The elephants of the world appear to have joined forces with the shark community, united in their hatred of American celebrities. Together, these deadly beasts of the animal kingdom will not rest until they've torn the limbs off every man, woman, and Dakota Fanning in Hollywood.
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Party Hat-cher
Hurry! Pack your bags, blindfold your children and tuck them under your arms and run for the fucking hills! Teri Hatcher's nipples will not be contained!!!!
Hatcher Okays Playboy . . . For a Price
For those of you who love nudity from women molded out of plastic, Playboy may soon have a treat for you. No, Farrah Fawcett isn't returning to the pages of the mag; Teri Hatcher says she would totally show off her Desperate Housewives–for $10 million.
Desperate Divas: Trouble A-Brewin'
Awriiiight! It's been awhile since we've had any good Desperate Housewives juice, but today, we woke up and found that the oranges done got squeezed and we can proffer a fresh pulpy glass. Two words: cat and fight.
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Also tagged celebrity catfights, Desperate Housewives, Marcia Cross, television
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