Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is moving out of Melrose Place – the actress and her costar Colin Egglesfield have been cut from the CW drama, Entertainment Weekly reports.

In a statement released after the announcement, Simpson-Wentz said,“Having the chance to play Violet on Melrose Place has been a thrill. Although I always knew her story would come to a final, insanely unpredictable end, playing a creepy, unstable character was something I always wanted to do, so I jumped at the chance. Thanks to the CW and the entire cast and crew of Melrose Place for allowing me this opportunity.”

Ashlee looks forward to revising her role as a creepy, unstable real life character and hopes to soon return to assaulting more McDonald’s employees, chugging Goldschlager and farting out some sloppy lapdances for her husband while slurring at Michelle Tractenberg, and naming her offspring after New York boroughs.

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Why yes, there are pictures after the cut, thanks for asking!

Eva, who gets her very comely assets from her equally enchanting mother, Susan Sarandon,  has a few more weeks left in her Californication residency, so if you don’t watch, you’re pretty stupid. Oh, and don’t give us that “waahhh, I don’t have caaaaable” horse feathers. Every Monday, Mr Skin has the pics and clips up first FREE for 24 hours. The government might be giving you $8000 for buying a house, but Mr. Skin is giving you colossal yabbos. It’s up to you to search your soul and decide which you’d rather have.

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When he joins the cast of “Celebrity Fit Club,” which premieres Feb. 14, he’ll land a $100,000 payday, according to several sources familiar with Federline’s negotiations.

That payday has come at cost, though. Federline has been overeating to get ready for the show. After he found out the casting was definite, “he started putting on even more weight on purpose,” a source told Us Weekly.

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It’s all part of a grand plan to make him a bigger brand post-weight loss, another friend of Federline’s said.

“He thinks that if he goes on the show, loses a ton of weight, and seems really likeable, he’ll get more deals afterward,” the friend said. “The way he sees it, he could have another show after ‘Fit Club,’ and that would open the door to working on music again, maybe even a fashion line.”

So let’s get this straight, KFed’s thinking went a little something like this: “People hate me and I’m not getting enough money for letting those kids live with me. I’ll get really, really fat so people will hate me even more (cause nobody likes a fatty), then when some reality show pays me to get skinny, people will love me and think I’m totally rad and will want to hear Popozao 2. It’s a plan.” We can’t find any flaws in that logic.

“Effective immediately, no production crews are to enter Jon’s family home for any reason. In the event that anyone enters the marital property, Jon

Gosselin will notify the local authorities to effectuate police action against any trespassers.”

TLC told People:

“Despite Jon Gosselin’s repeated self destructive and unprofessional actions, he remains under an exclusive contract with TLC. Direct filming of the children has been currently suspended, pending further conversations between both parents.”

You know that Jon–excuse us, Johnathon–means serious business because he put up an adorably misspelled sign to get his point across. If only he had written it in crayon with a few backwards letters and thrown in something about how much girls stink.