CelebNewsWire» Tatum O'Neal Archives – CelebNewsWire

Ryan O'Neal Officially More Tactless Than Michael Lohan

Agent E. — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:15:04 +0000

Let's say you're an actor. You had a promising career full of accolades, but that was quite some time ago. Since then you've had many, many personal problems, but people are starting to turn around in their opinion of you, mostly because you reunited with your one true love, a famous, beautiful actress who has had her own set of personal tribulations. But, see, the thing is, she's dying of cancer. And you're starting to look like a loving, sensitive man for being by her side. And then when she dies everyone feels sad for you. Until they hear that at her funeral you tried to get some action from your own daughter. An upcoming Vanity Fair article explains how Ryan O'Neal dealt with his pain at Farrah Fawcett's funeral:

"I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me," Ryan told me. "I said to her, 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She said, 'Daddy, it's me–Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it's my daughter. It's so sick."

"That's our relationship in a nutshell," Tatum said when I asked her about it. "You make of it what you will." She sighed. "It had been a few years since we'd seen each other, and he was always a ladies' man, a bon vivant."

So you're at your girlfriend's very public funeral. You see a hot blonde. You say, "Hey baby, wanna help me get over this chick?" Then she calls you Daddy. Yep. We're pretty sure we saw that one, and we're pretty sure it starred Katie Morgan.

CNW Hollywood Heathwatch Update

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 17:40:22 +0000

They say bad things happen in threes, so Hollywood is heartily screwed today. In the last 48 hours, a great plague has befallen some of the best and brightest that the entertainment industry has to offer. A quick wrap-up:

ï Kelsey Grammer had a mild heart attack, but he's OK. One of his siblings was murdered and his twin half brothers died in a scuba diving mishap, so a heart attack for this dude is pretty much akin to having the hiccups.

ï Fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent died at the age of 71. But his blonde fingerwaves and kicky ascots will forever live on as long as Austin Scarlett is on this planet!

ï Twice-baked po-Tatum O'Neal on her crack bust: "My dog died! I was sad!". Well then. Prepare to head down to 87th and buy a few baggies of rock because . . .

ï Bo Diddley done doodley dieddley.

Bad News, Bears: Tatum O'Neal Arrested

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 17:21:25 +0000

If we were named after a potato, we might want to escape by gargling the glass dick, too. According to WENN:

Troubled actress Tatum O'Neal has been arrested for buying crack from a drug dealer on the streets of New York.

The Oscar-winning former child star – who chronicled her recovery from a heroin addiction in her 2004 book A Paper Life – was spotted by a narcotics team exchanging money with a man three blocks from her home in the Big Apple.

The actress, daughter of actor Ryan O'Neal, initially told cops she was "doing research for a part", according to a police source. But, after authorities searched her and found two bags of drugs and a crack pipe, she changed her story, the source adds.

According to the New York Daily News, she pleaded with cops: "I've been clean for a long time. Today was the first time I was relapsing, but you guys saved me! Can you let me go?"

The Paper Moon star, 44, was charged with seventh-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance, a misdemeanour.

We're pretty sure that "research for a role" only works when you go to a $20,000/week rehabilitation facility. Not purchasing a baggie of crack on the street. At this point, we'll have Robert Downey Jr. claiming that his 25 years of drug addiction was just research for Less Than Zero. Even though it technically happened after he filmed that movie. It's called post-grad research, people,.

See Tatum's naked taters at MrSkin.com.

It's Only a Paper Poon

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 08 Apr 2005 17:39:29 +0000

Here's some bad news, bears: poor ole Tatum O'Neal has fallen off the wagon again. But there's good news to be had as well: after tossing back a trillion cocktails, she was seen tongue-wrangling and hooter-honking another woman outside of Pop Burger in NYC on Wednesday. If you had to schtup John McEnroe for a decade, wouldn't you swear off men, too?

The (sexy!) incident occurred this past Wednesday. She reportedly glugged several cosmopolitans before shitfacedly spilling a drink all over another customer. Wisely deciding it was time to get some air, she stepped outside for a smoke break, where she began chatting up a "stunning blonde" woman. An onlooker told the NY Post (and we swear, we're not making this up), "They started fooling around and were full-on making out. Then she started feeling the girl's boobs and rubbing her crotch. It was so graphic." The couple's coot-scootin' boogie was broken up when Pop Burger's manager sent a waiter out to tell O'Neal to settle her bill and go get a goddamn room. She paid for the drinks, then left, hand-in-hand, with the unnamed blonde broad. Oh my God! First Cynthia Nixon, now Tatum? Who's next, Meredith Baxter? Save our B-listers from the perils of lesbianism!

Get a taste of Tato-skin: Tatum O'Neal nude at MrSkin.com.