Tag Archives: Suri Cruise
CNW Junk Drawer: Jonathan Rhyshab Meyers
ï They try to make me wear a tee-shirt, I said, no, no, no. (Egotastic!)
ï They tried to make Jonathan go to Rhyshab, he said, no, no, n–well, okay. (Female First)
ï John Krasinski from The Office and RenÈe Zellweger? OK, that sounds fine, carry on. (I'm Not Obsessed)
ï Scarlett Johansson's handsome [...]
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Also tagged Amy Winehouse, celebrity hookups, celebrity offspring, celebs in rehab, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Biel, John Krasinski, Johnathan Rhys Meyers, Melanie Brown, Morgan Fairchild, music, Nicky Hilton, RenÈe Zellweger, Scarlett Johansson, see-through shots, television, underwear
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Katie Holmes Finds Autonomy, Religion (Again)
Has the time finally come when Katie Holmes will break out of her gold-plated shackles like the Hulk busting out of his purple dungarees and scream, "I love Jesus, dammit, and I don't care who knows it!"? MSNBC seems to think so:
Is Katie Holmes breaking free of her hubbyís Cruise control?
The wife of the ìTop [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: "A Shadowy Flight Into the Dangerous World of a Man Who Does Not Exist."
ï Usher Raymond's life is unnecessarily complicated.
ï OMG, KITT is for sale! For a mere $100K, you can own a 1982 Trans Am that doesn't actually speak.
ï Tori Spelling's new bundle of joy graces People, has mom's original nose.
ï Large-breasted Brit (we're starting to believe that there are no other sorts of [...]
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Also tagged celeb engagements/weddings, celebrity nudity, celebrity offspring, celebrity pregnancies, celebs in bikinis, Halle Berry, Joe Francis, magazines, Pamela Anderson, Pete Wentz, plastic surgery rumors, Tori Spelling, Usher
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Hey, Look. Suri.
Young Suri Cruise's haunted eyes project the frightened and complete understanding of her situation. "I know into what I was born," those blue orbs cry. "I know, and I accept my fate. No, do not attempt to save me, friends. Save yourselves." Suri Cruise does not suffer fools.
Angelina Prefers Maddox and Zahara's Struggle and Personality to Shiloh's Privilege and Blobbiness
Dear Suri Cruise,
How's it flyin', Port Wine? It's me, Shiloh, your sworn rival in the battle for the title of America's Sweetheart.
Listen, Cruise, I know we didn't exactly get started off on the right Baby Blahnik-clad foot, but I'm reaching out to you now, OK? I'm reaching out my goddamn gorgeous pink hand to you [...]
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Also tagged Angelina Jolie, celebrity offspring, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
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Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Rears Flawless Babyhead Once Again
Dear Suri Cruise,
'Sup, mini-bitch! It's me, your old pal Shiloh! What it is! Yo, check this shit out:
Suri Lives
Oh, hey, look. It's TomFat, K-Hole, and Scientological Overlord Suri NoMiddleName Cruise in Italy.
We can gather a few things from these pictures. Namely, that the infant pictured closely resembles the one depicted in the infamous Vanity Fair spread, so either that's Suri, or the baby they rented for the shoot went on sale, and the [...]
For Your Consideration: Suri Cruise
It's been a long, hard almost five months since little Suri No Middle Name Cruise donned sunglasses and BVDs and sock-slid out of Katie Holmes's rent-a-womb to the strains of "Old Time Rock and Roll". It's been speculated that she's actually Chris Klein's baby, that Katie was never pregnant and wore a prosthetic baby belly, [...]
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Also tagged celebrity offspring, Katie Holmes, magazines, Tom Cruise
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Suri Cruise to Become Real, Documented Person Tomorrow
Four months ago we were all like, "Suri, Suri, where's Suri? Gotta see Suri. Have to inspect her for gills or scales or a prehensile tail. C'mon, where's Suri. We've gotta see her. Show us the Suri!" But now that the moment is upon us and we are mere hours away from Suri's unveiling, we're [...]
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Also tagged celebrity offspring, Katie Holmes, magazines, Tom Cruise
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Suri Attends Party; Still Isn't Deformed
Like the mythical Yeti of yore, Suri No Middle Name Cruise roams the land silently and stoically under the cover of night, emerging only to feed and mingle briefly with Scientology-approved thespians. Sightings of the mysterious infant have increased tenfold, in a highly crop-circle-style fashion, in the last month, and this past weekend Suri experienced [...]
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Also tagged celebrity offspring, Katie Holmes, parties, Scientology, Tom Cruise
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