Tag Archives: Stavros Niarchos
You're In Luck, Boys
The rich smell of yeasty quim fills the still morning air. It's quiet. Too quiet. From a distance far away yet close enough to send chills up one's spine, a mighty cry: "COCCCCK!" You freeze, pause, wait. And then, closer this time. "COOOOOOCCCCKKKKKKK!" Suddenly, from out of nowhere, it swoops down, its lazy eye rolling [...]
Paris Hilton Returns to the Comfort of Nachos
Our life has seemed a bit empty, a bit cold, a bit lacking in gooey deliciousness lately. Why? Benji Madden, that's way. He has taken the place that rightfully belongs to another. Another by the name of Stamos Nachos. And that place is Paris Hilton's well-trod vagina. Luckily Stamos Nachos is not one to climb [...]
Paris Gets Punchy
Our love for Stamos Nachos is well documented. He's delightfully unwashed, we've never heard him speak (not even in print), and he has the best fake name in celebritydom. That is, until our alter ego makes it big in Hollywood. No one will be able to beat Senor Assface, because it will continually keep the [...]
Lindsay and Paris Chase the Same Nachos
That Stamos Nachos is one hot potato. Since filling our lives with his ooey gooey cheesiness once again, he's been re-linked to MK Olsen, Paris Hilton, and now Lindsay Lohan (and, yes, we recall that just yesterday we brought you a story alleging that LiLo was f'ing Heath Ledger, but the girl's a multitasker). They [...]
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Also tagged celebrity hookups, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, parties
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Mary-Kate Olsen Double Dips Her Nachos
Bite-sized orangutwin Mary-Kate Olsen may be busy nursing her crippled pee filter, but weep not for her, friends, as she may have a very special friend to help heal her. A tall, Greek friend dripping with old money, Paris Hilton juice, and delicious, creamy cheese . . . that's right! Our beloved Stamos Nachos is [...]
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Also tagged celebrity catfights, celebrity hookups, Mary-Kate Olsen, Paris Hilton
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A Tale of Lindsay, Coke, and a Rat
Lindsay Lohan! Rats! Illicit behavior! Ryan Seacrest! That Page Six sure knows how to craft a riveting story. If they had just thrown in Nicole Richie giving a handjob to a baby elephant they would've been a shoo-in for a Pulitzer.
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Also tagged celebrity bathroom habits, celebs in bikinis, drugs, Kelly Osbourne, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, parties, Ryan Seacrest
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Stamos Nachos Not Greasy Bear's BFF
Today we bring you a very special story of a budding feud between our favorite non-celebrity celebrities, Greasy Bear and Stamos Nachos. It's kind of like one of those Battle of the Network Stars come to life where the contestants consist of a few Price Is Right models, the left center square from Hollywood Squares, [...]
The Return of Stamos Nachos
Yea! It's the day we've been waiting for! Our beloved Stamos Nachos has returned! We will once again get to bask in his ooey-gooey, Full-House-y goodness. And it's all thanks to Hilary Duff. Which, really, is not a sentence we thought we'd ever happen upon the chance to use. Unless of course the sentence directly [...]