“I was being stalked by a mime — silent but maybe deadly. Somehow, this mime would appear on the set of Bringing Out the Dead and start doing strange things. I have no idea how it got past security. Finally, the producers took some action and I haven’t seen the mime since. But it was definitely unsettling.”

Imagining the terror Nic Cage underwent is awful. You’re just hanging out on set, getting ready to shoot a scene, and you look off to the side and skulking around the corner is a man in white grease paint and suspenders. Your eyes meet. He slowly pretends to peel and eat an imaginary banana. You shudder. Without letting go of your gaze, he points to you, then steps into an invisible box, indicating his desire to see you trapped. “No!” you shout. “Begone, cur!’ Instead he narrows his eyes and lassos you with an invisible rope and with his diabolical gloved hands, slowly begins to pull you toward him. With every yank of the imperceptible lariat, you’re yanked closer and closer towards your tormentor until the producers 86 him, his mouth contorted in silent protest. Jesus Christ this is chilling.

An overzealous Lindsay Lohan fan was arrested early this morning after he tried to get around security at a Scottsdale nightclub in the hopes of getting close to the starlet.

Cops tell us Lohan was leaving the Jackrabbit Supper Club & Lounge in the wee hours this morning with GF Sam Ronson when a 38-year-old man in the crowd jumped out at her, trying to go around club security to meet her. We're told he was arrested for disorderly conduct and released a few hours later. No charges have been filed yet.

According to the club's website, Sam was the celebrity host of an event.

Lindsay and Sam were both interviewed by cops, but neither was even aware anything had happened.

So that's what happened to Tom Arnold!

ï Elisha Cuthbert's hockey dude ex calls her "sloppy seconds". Do sloppy seconds bounce on ice? (Yeeeah!)

ï Jessica Alba's boobs like calamari! Wait, we mean Campari. (F-listed)

ï Helen Mirren goes snorkeling in a tankini. It's your move, Dame Judi. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Twilight vampire Ashley Greene just about gives you something to suck on (hint: A TIT!!!!!). (Thighs Wide Shut)

ï Eva Longoria is a smoker on the DL. Bet you anything those are Benson & Hedges 110s. (Celebitchy)

ï So Kate Moss and her unfrozen caveman boyfriend WEREN'T attacked by rogue Christmas ornaments after all. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. (The Superficial)

ï Lindsay Lohan got kicked off Facebook. That's what YOU get for not playing your Word Twist move, bitch. (Holy Moly)

ï Scout (dun DUN dun DUN) you'll be a woooomaaaaaann SOON. (Daily Stab)

ï Kristen Stewart will play Joan Jett in the new Runaways biopic. Will she be licking some ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bombs? (Anything Hollywood)

A woman was found dead on Tuesday evening, near a home believed to be owned by Paula Abdul, Access Hollywood has learned.

A 30-year-old woman was found dead in a parked car in the Sherman Oaks, Calif. community the ìAmerican Idolî judge reportedly resides in. The woman was found sometime after 6PM on Tuesday after the Los Angeles Police Department received a tip from a neighboring agency, according to LAPD spokesperson Officer Karen Smith.

ìOur Van Nuys division did receive a call from the Ventura Countyís Sheriff. A womanís parents reported her missing and they thought that she may be at Paula Abdulís house,î Smith told Access. The parents of the woman reportedly believed their daughter was nearby Abdulís home as she was reportedly ìa big fanî of the ìIdolî judge, Officer Smith told Access.

When authorities arrived, the unidentified woman was pronounced dead at the scene. Authorities are awaiting a coronerís report to verify the cause of death.

Footage of a car parked on the street where the incident occurred, and shown on Fox News 11 in Los Angeles, who first reported the story, showed Paula Abdul stickers dangling from the rear view mirror.
The station reported Abdul was reportedly taping an episode of ìIdolî when the incident occurred.

Man, even Paula Abdul has a suicidal stalker, while we can't even get more than two people to comment on our blog.

Most celebrities expect the occasional overzealous fan to snap an unflattering candid, but Paula Abdulís eager star-stalker took it a step too far.

ìA fan leaned over (a public bathroom stall) and took a picture, and I was mortified, and she didn't think there was anything wrong with it,î the ìAmerican Idolî judge told the L.A. Times. ìI honestly was weirded out by that and she was so nervous that she thought I wouldn't even notice. I was like no, no, that's not cool. I said to her, ëA real good tip: Don't do that to anyone else.íî

Once Paula ensured the potty pic was history, she proved her patience by posing for some more appropriate shots with the same fan.

This particular story created an absolute furor in the CelebNewsWire offices, with many Paula songs being reappropriated to include references to bodily functions. The standouts? "I pee standing up," "I pee sitting down," "We pee together cuz opposites attract." And "Gush, gush, hurry, hurry Paula, pee for me."

Is someone trying to harm Brittany Murphy?

A source who used to work for the perky star says she talks darkly of "a high-powered Hollywood player" who is allegedly stalking her.

And when her then-boyfriend, Simon Monjack, disappeared for 10 days in April, Murphy claimed he had been kidnapped by agents of this mysterious figure, says the source.

"When he came back, he had head injuries," says the former insider. "He was pale and sometimes had trouble standing."

Not only that, but the former staffer also claims Murphy said she was unable to pay him because the money had been used for ransom.

However, the alleged kidnapping seems to exactly coincide with the dates reported by The National Enquirer that Monjack, a British citizen, was jailed by U.S. immigration authorities for overstaying his visa.

Monjack, a screenwriter, is not short of enemies. Several anonymous sources have posted unflattering stories on the Internet about his past relationships. On June 13, a man identifying himself as Arturo Globenfeldt posted a message on Monjack's Imdb.com page claiming he owes him $16 million in film investment money. Globenfeldt, whose blog indicates he is in Portugal, did not immediately respond to an e-mail.

A rep for Murphy also did not respond to a request for comment.

Arturo Globenfeldt. Arturo Globenfeldt. Globenfeldt. We think that name may get more play in our private thoughts than Blake Fielder-Civil. Anyway, what do you want to bet that when Monjack was hauled off to prison his one phone call was to a guy named Moose or Paulie or some such to set up a fake kidnapping plot? Because as any good thieving boyfriend would know, those Uptown Girls residuals are better spent on clandestine trips to Vegas than on buckets and buckets full of glittery makeup.

Duff was being interviewed Tuesday by MuchMusic host Leah Miller on Live @ Much when a man in the crowd outside the studio started shouting at the 19-year-old star. According to an eyewitness, the unidentified man vowed to kill Duff, prompting several police officers to tackle him.

ìThe cops slammed his face into the pavement,î said photographer Todd Gillis, who witnessed the incident. ìHe was bleeding.î

The commotion happened just metres from an outdoor platform where Duff later stood to greet fans who surged forward for autographs and pictures.

Taking out Hilary Duff doesn't sound like the road to Mark David Chapman level infamy, but what do we know? We hear the guy who tried to shoot up Bret Michaels is in the top 4 on Romanian Idol.

TMZ has obtained court documents, filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, in which Duff and Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden claim that a 19-year-old Russian emigre came to the United States "for the sole purpose of meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff."
The court documents state the man, whose first name is Max, "admitted to being 'obsessed' with her, has stated his intention of 'removing' his 'enemies' (i.e., those who prevent him from being with her), has stated his intention of purchasing a weapon, and has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention."
According to the documents, Max "has stated his belief that Hilary is in love with him and that Joel Madden stands in their way."
The court documents also claim David Joseph Klein, a 50-year-old celebrity photographer who is roommates with Max, is also a threat.
The documents state, "Over the past six weeks, the defendants have engaged in an accelerated effort to make contact with Hilary, including visits to her neighborhood, to her mother's home, to her boyfriend's neighborhood … to Mr. Madden's concert venue, and direct calls to Hilary's manager."
According to the documents, the police detained Max at least once at one of Madden's concerts and questioned Klein at the same event.
The stars are requesting a judge to order Max and David Joseph Klein to stay at least 100 yards away from Hilary Duff, her sister Haylie, Joel Madden and his twin brother Benji.

See, here's the problem with delusional men who stalk famous women: They always seem to think that the best way of getting the woman's attention is by killing someone, often themselves or the woman they covet. But if Max wants to get Hilary's attention by offing himself, sure it'll work for a few minutes, but then he's dead. She's never gonna be his girlfriend then. Unless Hil harbors a secret interest in necrophilia. So here's a bit of advice to Max: Next time, try diamonds instead of guns. They tend to work a little better.