Stone stumbled over the word "Azerbaijan" and shrieked to the crowd, "What is that? I can't pronounce this," before inexplicably yelling, "Chaka Khan! Chaka Khan!"

Thank you thank you thank you Page Six for ending this story where you did. We are so happy that the open-ended nature of this anecdote leaves us able to imagine Sharon taking the mic out of its stand and grooving to some nonexistent beats, getting really into it and singing,
Chaka Khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chaka Khan
Let me rock you, that's all I wanna do
Chaka Khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chaka Khan
Let me rock you, let me feel for you
And of course we see Sharon bending down really low, eyes closed, totally feeling herself up during the entire performance.

Sharon Stone is on the lookout for a new toyboy – the Hollywood actress made a play for Slumdog Millionaire star Dev Patel at the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA) Awards on Sunday.Stone, 50, reportedly dated 24-year-old Chase Dreyfous last year before their relationship cooled.

And Stone proved she is keen on another young man – after the Basic Instinct star flirted with newcomer Patel, 18, on the red carpet at the prestigious film event.

He says, "Sharon's great, she's been flirting with me all night. She was chasing me around earlier, slapping me. Sharon Stone! Can you believe it?"

Isn't there some sort of Hollywood welcome wagon who gives every newcomer a survival kit? Phone numbers for lawyers adept at getting celebs out of DUIs, publicists capable of convincing the public that that tranny prostie was really your aunt, and good plastic surgeons who can fix the work of bad plastic surgeons? And doesn't that survival kit come with a picture of Jack Nicholson (for the young ladies) or Sharon Stone (for the gents) and a warning to avoid their gazes and goosings at all costs?

The court has released what it calls the "Tentative Statement of Decision." It is a highly sensitive document, which outlines a bitter, ongoing battle between Stone and ex-husband, Phil Bronstein.

Among many things, the judge says, "Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan." In one case, the judge describes Stone believing Roan had a spinal condition, but "there was no evidence to support this allegation."

And then the court says, "Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child."

Initially we were with Sharon on this one. Stinky feet are just so hard to overcome. We've tried everything, covering the soles with Band-Aids, spreading a thin layer of cream cheese in the bottom of our shoes, rubbing Vaseline on the feet of our Jessica Simpson voodoo doll. But nothing seemed to work! We were just about to resort to Sharon's Botox recommendation when the genius Phil Bronstein stepped in. Socks! Deodorant! What brilliant solutions! Thank you, Phil, you truly are a great man.

Also, is it really surprising that Shazza would suggest such an extreme solution to a common problem? After all, this is the woman who proposed that when threatened with date rape a woman should, not kick the perpetrator in the nads or stab him repeatedly with your keys, but stuff his dick in her maw. Truly a fount of wisdom, that one.


Forget about her parenting skills and see Sharon Stone nude at MrSkin.com.

"Entertainment Tonight" has obtained a court minute order confirming Sharon Stone has lost physical custody of her 8-year-old son Roan, despite her court pleas to change the arrangement.

According to court documents detailing a September 12, 2008 custody hearing, Phil Bronstein "shall have permanent sole physical custody of child. Court finds that Respondent (Sharon Stone) failed to meet her burden of proof and denies Respondent's (Sharon Stone's) request for modification of custody." The judge also notes this order is permanent unless there is a change of circumstances. However, all of Sharon's visitation, holiday and vacation rights remain unchanged.

Why did Sharon lose custody? Because she's an asshole.

Sharon gets to barin' at MrSkin.com.

"It was a pile of shit, wasn't it? I wanted to get a job in the can before my daughter was born. It was actually very pleasant for me. I didn't have much to do with Sharon Stone. And thank God because I heard she was a fucking nightmare."

Wait a damn minute. Hold up. Hold the phone. He's not talking about Sharon Stone, is he? Sharon Stone. The same Sharon Stone who ditched some AIDS orphans. The Sharon Stone who told teenagers to thwart date rape with a hearty BJ. Sharon Stone who was sued by an entire nation. It is? Just checking because we were shocked that someone with such a golden reputation would be known as anything other than a latter-day St. Francis of Assisi.

Get a rarin' bone for Sharon Stone. She's nude at MrSkin.com.

The bad "karma" keeps rolling for Sharon Stone, as more than 1,000 Chinese earthquake victims and a New York lawyer are demanding a $1 billion pay-out – or maybe just an apology.

The "Basic Instinct" star was recently served with legal papers announcing attorney Ming Hai's intention to sue her for harming Chinese people when she suggested the catastrophic quake last May was "karma" for the regime's occupation of Tibet.

"For the families who have lost their loved ones or lost limbs or suffered severe injuries, your . . . statement and act has caused extreme emotional distress," Ming wrote, citing the controversial comments Stone made at the Cannes Film Festival.

In a public apology last month, Stone, 50, said she "misspoke" and "could not be more regretful for that mistake."

So people in China earn like 12 cents a day making Hannah Montana throw pillows and crap, right? Do they even understand how much money $1 billion is? Or is them suing Sharon for $1 billion like the time our mom called us a fat whore and we shot back with, "That's defamation! I'll sue! I think $80 cluckaduckillion should cover it."


Of course you know you can see Sharon Stone nude at MrSkin.com. Go there now. Do it.

"Iím, you know, not happy about the way the Chinese are treating the Tibetans, because I donít think anyone should be unkind to anyone else. And so, I have been very concerned about how to think and what to do about that because I donít like Ö that. And then Iíve been, this, you know, concerned about, oh, how should we deal with the Olympics, because theyíre not being nice to the Dali Lama who is a good friend of mine. And then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma? When youíre not nice that the bad things happen to you?"

And now, Sharon's movies have been banned due to her inflammatory comments:

Ng See-Yuen, founder of the UME Cineplex chain and the chairman of the Federation of Hong Kong Filmmakers, called Stone's comments "inappropriate," adding that actors should not bring personal politics to comments about a natural disaster that has left five million Chinese homeless, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Awesome. Also, Hurricane Katrina was a direct result of Anne Rice writing shitty goth fiction and the 2004 Indian Ocean quake/tsunami happened because of a subpar batch of pad prik served to Sharon at the Thai Garden eatery around the same era.

Sharon gets to barin' at MrSkin.com.

Come into my moose knuckle:

What lurks beneath Sharon's cotton crotch? See for yourself at at MrSkin.com.

ï Mischa Barton got arrested for DUI and drug possession. Way to be Scrooges, cops. (TMZ)

ï Fergie is engaged! To a man, even! Flossy, flossy. (A Socialite's Life)

ï Jessica Alba is also engaged. Awwww, now her baby won't be a bastard. Cute! (Derek Hail)

ï Robin Wright and Sean Penn are not engaged, however. In fact, they are getting a divorce. Perhaps she finally got a glimpse of him in the cold hard light of day. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

ï Et tu, Brendan Fraser and wife? Oh, Encino Man, why can't you and your onion field hair plugs make love last? (Celebitchy)

ï The sirer of Jamie Lynn Spears's unborn doohicky might not be Casey Aldridge. It might, instead, be Kevin Federline. Juuuuuust kidding, it's some old dude. (Yeeeah!)

ï Gaze upon these photos of Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini and be revived. And then note sadly that Michael Bolton is the master of that body, and shrivel, groaning in pain. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Sharon Stone trots out those nips for a trip around the block. (Celeb Warship)

ï Lindsay Lohan might as well face it, she's addicted to dong. (Egotastic!)

ï Leelee Sobieski. TeeTee Boobichesti. (The Blemish)