Tag Archives: sex
Shia The Beef Not Packing Much Meat
Do you wanna hear about Shia LaBeouf's first time slipping the beef into a lady? Of course you do. It went a little something like this: Shia: "Hey, baby, I like your shirt. It would look really good on my floor. You know, after I take it off so that I can touch your titties [...]
Hayden Panties Thinks Sex Is Icky
Gross things you can see in movies: disembowelment, the naked fight scene in Borat, people taking dumps, Mickey Rourke, people smooching. Wait, what's that last one? According to Hayden Panettiere people kissing (and worse: having sex!) on screen is totally disgusting. Reports The San Francisco Chronicle:
"Heroes" star Hayden Panettiere squirms in her seat whenever she [...]
Matthew McConaughey: Vagina Hunter
Hahahahahahaha. Teenage Matthew McConaughey didn't know where a lady's poon chute is! See, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan have been doing a service for young boys everywhere, giving them a very specific female anatomy lesson. Our own personal gossip speculum, FemaleFirst, reports:
Matthew McConaughey was clueless about sex.
The 'Fool's Gold' star admits he had no idea [...]
Angelina Jolie's Cooter Seeking a More Well-Rounded Diet
That Angelina Jolie. She's wild. She lives on the edge. Labels and conventions can't contain her. She's free in her choices. Don't tell her what to do. Because she won't listen. She does what the hell she wants, when the hell she wants. And if that includes stopping by an all-lesbian orgy every once in [...]
Ed Westwick Yearns for Sex in Publicówith a Lady!
We're going to make it a Gossip Girl kind of day here at CelebNewsWire with a little tale about be-scarfed ugly-hot rich boy Ed Westwick. He swearsóswears, swears, swearsóthat he loooves the poon. Loves it. No way does he like wieners. No way. What's that line about the lady protesting too much? Cause this lady [...]
Robert Pattinson to Teach Tweens About Hardcore Gay Sex via New Movie
We're about to do something completely out of character here: We're going to post our second story on Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson in as many days. We know. Weird, right? But don't worry. CelebNewsWire has not been hacked by a giggly but technologically gifted groups of thirteen-year-old girls. We will not ever be known as [...]
OMG! Zanessa Totally Do It!
You may think that Zac Efron is as gay as a pink poodle taking a tinkle on the Easter ham at Elton John's house, but his mommy thinks he's all man. And she's very concerned about it. Reports Access Hollywood:
The photos that surfaced last year of Efron and his girlfriend, ìHSMî cutie Vanessa Hudgens, in [...]
Dita Von Teese Is Getting Plenty of Schlongs
We know you've been deeply worried about the state of Dita Von Teese's vagina, imagining it all shriveled up from disuse, like Jennifer Aniston's was before John Mayer saved the poor neglected thing. But worry no more, friends, because Dita is definitely riding the baloney pony, getting sliced by the beef bayonet, filling her cream [...]
Sex Addict Kanye West Invented Gorgasm: The Legend of Dong Slayer, Not Tracy Morgan
Have you ever asked yourself "Why is Kanye West so successful and I'm not?" The answer is simple, son: It's because Kanye's a sex addict and you're just a masturbation addict. According to E!:
Kanye West is on another magazine cover (this time with a sure-to-be-appreciated gray-free beard) and as usual the rapper turned auto-tune singer [...]
Kenny Chesney, Bangin' Machine. STRAIGHT Bangin' Machine, He Swears.
Undercover baldy Kenny Chesney has a confession to make. He just LOVES banging women. He loves it so much, he broke the three-digit mark long ago. Over a hundred dames, he swears! He's fucked 'em all! Please, please believe him. He bragged to Playboy:
Man, I was over 100 several years ago. There were years when [...]