Tag Archives: Scientology
Kirstie Alley Is Scientology's Crazy Person Also-Ran
Just like any clique, Scientology has their fads. But instead of blue glitter nail polish and peep toe heels (only John Travolta seems to have adopted those), the Scientolobots like publicly airing their internal gibberish. We're beginning to think that all those auditing sessions make people unlearn the art of constructing a complete sentence and [...]
Just How Much Frozen Hubbard Sperm Is the Celebrity Center Hoarding?
Break out your Swarovski-studded celebratory e-meters and get ready to party like it's Xenu's last stand, cause Katie Holmes is baking up super baby overlord number 2! Whooooo! The Sydney Morning Herald reports:
Katie Holmes has fuelled rumours she is pregnant by buying a "Big Sister" t-shirt for daughter Suri.
The Batman Begins star visited Los Angeles [...]
Hubbard Hired a High School Video Workshop Class with Mad VHS Skillz
Two sure bets when it comes to getting a lot of reader feedback here at CelebNewsWire? Clay Aiken stories and Scientology videos! Today's leaked Xenu vid does not include Tom Cruise talking about "romping", but weep not–there's John "Johnny wants mouthwash" Travolta and a Cheers-era Kirstie Alley urging us to become one of them! Celebitchy [...]
More Tom Cruise Xenu Videos: Now Even Wilder; Woolier
Our Tom Cruise Scientological Claptrap Video story has proven to be the most popular of 2008 Q1 (said vid has been removed from YouTube, but you can still watch it at Gawker), so we felt it was only right and natural to bring you the other sections of the bone-chillingly riveting ceremony. LISTEN with rapture [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Leg-Spreading and Fetus-Getting
ï Cleava Mendes. (Drunken Stepfather)
ï "Dear Brad Renfro. We came over to fuck you but you were dead. Love, Tiffany and Amber." Rest in peace, Brad. (Fatback and Collards)
ï We want to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!", honestly we do, but we just can't when she keeps flipping us her outer labes. (Taxi Driver)
ï [...]
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Also tagged ailing celebs, Alessandra Ambrosio, boobs, Brad Renfro, Britney Spears, celebrity deaths, celebrity nudity, celebrity pregnancies, drugs, Eva Mendes, Halle Berry, Jenna Jameson, Jennifer Garner, Rihanna, see-through shots, Tom Cruise, Zac Efron
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Tom Cruise Talks and Talks, But the Only Thing That Comes Out Is Verbal Crazy
We like to pride ourselves on knowing our readers. We know you love knockers and large asses and flashed gash and anything involving Paris Hilton looking stupid or Britney Spears looking crazy. We also know that an unusually high percentage of you are sustained coma survivors. Many of you have only recently reentered the [...]
Will Smith Is Scientologist, Gives Crappy Gifts
"I am definitely not a Scientologist. Yes, I'm friends with Tom Cruise, and he is a Scientologist, but that does not mean that I am a Scientologist. My strong will and Christian morals have so far been able to resist Tom's dreamy eyes and mischievous smile. So you got that, world, I am not a [...]
Shocking New Book Alleges Tom Cruise Is Wacky Cult Leader
So you know all those things you've heard about Tom Cruise being a crazy loony mental patient who does nothing all day but mutter under his breath "I love L. Ron. L. Ron is God" and stare at the author's photo on the back of Dianetics? Someone said, "What the hell, I can sell that" [...]
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Also tagged books, David Beckham, Katie Holmes, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Tom Cruise, Victoria Beckham
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Suri Spoiled by Scientology
Have you ever wondered what's involved in a Scientological upbringing? Do you think it's all 18-hour auditing sessions and "yes master"s and "I denounce my thetans" and "I did not see Daddy tongue kissing John Travolta in the herb garden"? US Weekly assures us that it's, oh, so much more.
Everyone knows that Suri Cruise, Tom [...]
Tom Cruise Baking "Welcome to the Neighborhood" Snickerdoodles for Xenu
Get ready, children, Xenu is coming! He's gonna do stuff and kill things and be mean and it'll be bad. But don't worry; all of L. Ron's work to warn us of the dangers of Xenu and the coming Apocalypse will not be in vain, thanks to Tom Cruise and his mountains and mountains of [...]