Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and daughter Suri reunited with John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston — plus over 4000 other Scientologists — at a massive party.

The stars were surprise guests at the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists held at Saint Hill Manor in East Grinsted, West Sussex. During nearly two hours of speeches, Cruise, 47, briefly addressed the rapturous, fist-pumping crowd: “Because we never took our eyes off the ultimate prize, we stand where we are today,” he intoned, witnesses tells Us. “We are in this together!”

When a choir took to the stage, the Cruise-Holmes family stood up with the rest of the audience. “Tom was swaying and looked like he was in heaven,” an attendee tells Us. “He was really, really into it. Katie was next to him doing her best to look as enthusiastic. She was clapping along with the song, but was totally out of sync.”

Later, during a reception, Cruise was overheard chatting with another American man about the protesters outside the venue. “They’re squirrels,” Cruise said angrily, according to a witness. “Stuck in an electronic incident. It makes me so angry!”

We salute you, Scientologists, for never taking your eyes off that ultimate prize. Which is traveling on a spaceship to a mountain full of evil souls or giving all your residuals to David Miscavige or wearing an eyepatch in the Nazi movie. But hey, what do we know? Ow! I just got my adorably fluffy tail stuck in this electronic incident!

Katie Holmes may be coming to the end of her Purification Rundown diet, but it seems she isnít stopping there with her commitment to Scientology.

I can reveal that the 30-year-old actress resolves problems with her husband Tom Cruise by making weekly written confessions, as laid out in the Scientology code.

"Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend," says a source. "If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened."

Yeah, but she gets off easy compared to Suri. Not yet being able to write, the toddler must relay her sins to her father via aboriginal folk dancing.

Britney Spears had reportedly contacted Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to learn more about Scientology.

The singer is apparently interested in using the controversial faith to help her come to terms with her recent problems.

According to Heat, Spears told a friend: "I have met Katie a few times, so I called her up and just started asking questions about Scientology. I'm always open to new things.

"Katie told me she wasn't so sure about it at first either, but once Tom explained it to her and she read the books and took some classes, it really started to work for her.

"Then Tom wanted to talk to me about it, so I did. He was nice and answered all my questions and sent me books."

Cruise has reportedly encouraged celebrities including David Beckham and Kirsten Dunst to discover Scientology.

Yeah, that's exactly what Britney needs, to believe in alien overlords and e-meters. We think she was better off thinking that all of her problems would be solved by a $25 piece of red string.

But Tommy's sage advice doesn't stop at the Brit. He's also trying to help Spencer Pratt. Unless Tom's trying to help him onto a deserted island with no cameras or internet service we're not really interested. E! reports on something called The Hills After Show (because watching the show just isn't enough; now you must watch people talk about watching the show):

There are a lot of confusing things about The Hills After Show, like where does host Dan Levy (Eugene's son) get his clothes? Is cohost Jessi Cruickshank related to Shenae Grimes, by any chance? And seriously, how does this show even exist?

But last night they bewildered us even more when they somehow managed to drag Tom Cruise into the whole Speidi faux-marriage mix by asking him if it was it cool for Spencer to make Heidi elope when she wanted a big wedding.

Well, sorry, Spence, but Tommy-boy does not approve. "If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta give the wedding," he says. "But you'll learn that later."

Looks like Pratt is listening. "You all know how I feel about big weddings, but if Tom Cruise says so, it must be true," he responded to Usmagazine.com, adding, "If Tom's the best man, we'll have a big wedding!"

Poor Heidióthere goes her shot at a big bash.

That's pretty low to sink, even for Tom Cruise. What's next? Will he weigh in on whether Tila Tequila should choose dong or clit? Help the Duggars come up with a name for the 18th kid?

ì[The first time I spoke with Smith], I had to reassure him over and over that I could guarantee discretion. Once I convinced him I could, he placed his order. It was for a man. Youíd be surprised at how many Hollywood stars requested the services of the guys.î

This lends itself quite nicely to Smithís new allegiance to the homo-curing religion of Scientology:

Could Smithís proclivities account for his recent apparent conversion to Scientology, a religion thatís chief appeal in Hollywood appears to be its promise to turn gay people straight? The religionís founder, L. Ron Hubbard, believed homosexuals should be quarantined from society because he considered gays to be ìquite ill physicallyî and homosexuality a ìmental aberration.î

Looking back, this is all quite obvious if you explore the early oeuvre of the Fresh Prince releases. "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson" was just a radio-friendly version of the more colorful "I Think I Can Beat Off Mike Tyson". And "Parents Just Don't Understand" was actually the harrowing tale of coming out to one's mother and father and not, as one would assume, a song about buying Zips and picking up pre-teen runaways. Actually, no, that's pretty gay too.

ìAt the tenth day after giving birth all that chemical stuff did peakóthat hormone thingóand I did cry a lot that day because I was having so much trouble moving. I couldnít get up fast enough to feed the babiesÖMarc was helping out a lot and I was crying and crying and going, ëOh, PapiÖtheyíre going to know everybody more than meÖTheyíre going to love everybody more than me!í [Lopez also says in the interview that sheís not breastfeeding, but doesnít elaborate.]

Ah yes, if only you could have a list of backstage mother demands on the birth certificate stating that the babies must love Mommie Dearest above all. And that they have to provide her with gardenia Jo Malone candles and a low fat cheese plate.

But even more curious is Lopez's love for Scientology. The interview states:

Lopezís father has been a Scientologist for more than 20 years, and she is frequently seen with converts including Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Leah Remini.
ìI do know a lot about Scientology. And I know about the practices. I know all about what the technology is and all that kind of stuff. Itís very helpful. So in a sense, yeah, you do call on it.î
ìDo you consider yourself a Scientologist?î
ìNoÖI wouldnít have a problem saying [I was] because I know what it is. I have no problems with it and it really actually bothers me that people have such a negative feeling towards it.î
ìThat it is too exotic? Too cultish?î
ìJust negative feelings.î
ìWould you consider schooling Emme and Max in a Scientology school?î
ìYeah. I wouldnít mind. Not at all. Because I know that the technologies that they have are very helpfulÖItís all about communication. Thatís the thing, I really donít like about talking about this. I do know so many great people who do do it, who choose it as a lifestyle and really follow it and it is their religionÖI just wish that people wouldnít judge it without knowing what it is.î

"It's all about communica–I HATE TALKING ABOUT THIS. Everyone is so down on it and they don't know what it is–I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHAT IT IS."

L. Ron Hubba Hubba! See Jennifer Lopez nude at MrSkin.com.

Friends reveal the singer has sought comfort from [confirmed Scientologist] Juliette Lewis, who is introducing her to the controversial religion. A source tells Star magazine, ìPink is in the beginning stages of checking out the religion, but she has taken to it and she wants to get more involved.î

You know what this means: baby rape is definitely off the menu in the Pink household. Whew!


Dip into Pink's nips at MrSkin.com.

By now itís pretty much common knowledge that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban named their baby Sunday Rose, and thus re-opened the vault of bad celebrity baby names.

What was the couple thinking? One Kidman source said that before the birth, Urban penned a song titled ìSundayî about his little miracle-to-be. ì(Urban and Kidman) knew the sex of the baby beforehand, and once Keith wrote the song, they thought it was the perfect name for their baby,î said the Kidman source. ìThey really didnít know sheíd almost be born on Sunday.î

Another source said the name is her last jab at Scientology. ìNicole is a Catholic, and Sunday was an important religious day for her until she was involved in Scientology,î said the source. ìSheís still bitter about her experience with Scientology and the fact her babyís name could be perceived as one last jab doesnít exactly upset her.î

Whatís up next for the new family of three? ìTheyíre going to nest in Nashville for a while.î

The Keith Urban song theory we totally get (and we're sure it's a masterpiece on the order of "Hey Jude"), but using your first naturally born child's moniker, the name she'll have to saddle until she's 18 and changes it to something really boring like Ann, to smite Scientology? We don't think so. We think Nicole's saving that honor for her very first yacht, the S.S. Scientology is a Cult Full of Crazy Alien Humpers. And of course the dinghy will be christened the P.S. My Ex-husband Tom Cruise Likes Wieners (and I Don't Mean Hot Dogs).


Nicole Kidman is a hot (naked) mama at MrSkin.com.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes should avoid takin' a cruise with the Scientologists this summer on threat of being sacked by pirates!

Crazy anti-Scientology vigilante group "Anonymous," which has been attacking the church and Cruise on YouTube, is stepping up its antics, promising to launch "Operation: Sea Arrrgh," an attack on Scientology's Sea Organization, the elite arm of the church that operates a ship called MV Freewinds.

The protesters, who claim they stay under the radar to protect themselves from church backlash, are peppering media outlets with promises they'll accost the Sea Organization all summer long, all pirate-style, in their latest attempt to expose the underbelly of the celebrity religion.

Yikes. If only Johnny Depp was a Scientologist, everything would be okay.

When Tom Cruise was told that a band of pirates was planning on attacking MV Freewinds, he threw some topsiders and a captain's hat in his duffel bag and immediately set out for the sea, giddily exclaiming, "Oh, I'm so excited! We're getting attacked by butt pirates! I've always wanted to meet one. We'll have so much fun!"


Katie Holmes shows off her Jolly Rogers at MrSkin.com.

Katie was recently secluded for three days at Gold Base, the remote, supersecret Scientology compound in Hemet, Calif., where she was put through a demanding schedule. "It included various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes," a Scientology insider reveals. "Tom insists that auditing and purification practices are incredibly beneficial to Scientologists at all levels." Katie's intensive Scientology training and treatments have been accelerated in recent weeks, says another source, because she wanted to go to New York City without Tom to star in a Broadway play. But Tom stepped in and put the kibosh on her plans. And now Katie's been going in for a series of intensive auditing sessions, some which have lasted for 36 hours straight – with little sleep or food."

We're not sure which part of this story is less plausible, the physically challenging purification processes or the fact that Scientology has a super-secret evil lair. Is it hidden in the side of a mountain or in the bottom of the ocean? Is it overseen by L. Ron Hubbard's reanimated brain, which hisses, "I'll get you next time, Holmes! Next time!" while stroking MAD Cat?

Don't torture yourself–see Katie Holmes naked at MrSkin.com.

I don't care if people worship turtles or frogs – if they're good people, that's all I care about, and he (Cruise) is a good person.

I think he gets a raw deal, just as I think the orphans in Malawi get a raw deal; just as I think a lot of marginalised people get a raw deal.

Those are some sage words coming from a woman who believes that a piece of string will ward off the evil of the universe. But we don't think millionaire movie star Tom Cruise being made fun of for believing in theatans and emeters is anywhere near the same thing as orphans getting a "raw deal." See, he's just gullible; they HAVE NO PARENTS. There's not much hope that they'll snap out of that anytime soon.


Worship at the altar of Madonna at MrSkin.com.