Tag Archives: Scarlett Johansson
A Corkin' Good ScarJo
The alluring, monster-hootered never-nude Scarlett Johansson has a rep as a classy lassie. So it makes sense that she's been named as the face of Moet & Chandon champagne. Just like it would make sense if Chris Brown was named the face of assholism or Fergie was named the face of Denny Johnson's Crystal Meth [...]
R.I.P. Scarlett Johansson's Titanic Tits
Here lie Scarlett Johansson's boobs. They were good boobs, an upstanding pair, they gave their all in service to their hot owner. But there comes a time in every tit's life that it just cannot stand the scrutiny any more. It's sick of being ogled, of stealing all of the attention away from other beautiful [...]
Spring Into Porn Stars and their Celeb Twins!
Ever noticed how much Scarlett Johansson resembles Traci Lords? We didn't either, until it was pointed out to us, and now we can't look at Scarjo without picturing her as a new wave hooker. Head over to Mr Skin and peruse their Celebrity Pornalikes feature, written by legendary archivist of hot naked ladies Celebrity Sleuth. [...]
CNW Mini Junk Drawer: "I'm Only Dating Him Because I Love You"
There is NOTHING happening today. NOTHING. So, like a mom giving her child a pot and wooden spoon to play with, we're handing you some links to keep you entertained. Sorry. Don't blame us, blame the boring celebrities.
ï Alex Rodriguez is mad because Madonna's stepping out publicly with some other dude! Even though he [...]
Eva Mendes Bests All Comers in Hottness Arena
Every January, we eagerly await Askmen.com and their big reveal of their annual "99 Most Desirable Women" list. From Christmas to mid-January, our gonads remain unkneaded, laying in wait for the internet to tell us which comely Hollywood starlet will be the impetus for our longing. This year, everyone's favorite crummy tattoo canvas Megan Fox [...]
Scarlett Johansson Wants to Go Big Pimpin' in the Wild West
Bosomy Scarlett Johansson is just dying to be a whore. She wants it SO bad! Please, please, someone take mercy on the poor girl and let her fulfill her whoring dreams. Any takers? Reports The Sun:
SCARLETT JOHANSSON wants to run a brothel.
But hold your horses there, the Lost In Translation actress is simply chasing her [...]
Scarlett Johansson's Bodily Fluids Can Be Yours
Want to own Scarlett Johansson's boobie? Want to keep it and run your tongue over it and smell it and maybe eat it so her flesh becomes your flesh and the two merge like one? Now you can! Because Scarlett Johansson's boobie is being auctioned off on eBay. Actually, no, make that boogies. As in [...]
Can't Get an Interview with Scarlett Johansson? Just Make It Up!
Everybody knows that at least 90% of what you hear about celebrities is pure bullshit. Except for that woman who lives down the hall from us who thinks that she's married to Matt Lauer, but that's another story. So why not just make up some stuff and pretend it's true? It'll save you the time [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Britney? Is it You?
ï Promo pic for the new Britney Spears album is more airbrushed than a T-shirt at the county fair. (Drunken Stepfather)
ï Is Lindsay Lohan on the sauce again? Does the pope shit in the woods? (Celebitchy)
ï Check it out: pictures of Harry Potter's hairy peter. (Cityrag)
ï Hugh Hefner is like a father [...]
ScarJo Becomes ScarRo
It was an incredibly shitty weekend full of enormously turdish news. If it wasn't bad enough that Paul Newman passed away, Scarlett Johansson married some Canadian guy. Reports our personal gossip wedding planner, Female First:
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds married on Saturday.
'The Other Boleyn Girl' actress and her 'Definitely, Maybe' star beau tied the knot [...]