Tag Archives: Sarah Jessica Parker
Baby Crap Really Does It for Sarah Jessica Parker
It’s normal to derive joy from certain smells. The perfume your high-school girlfriend wore. Freshly Pine Sol-ed floors. Cinnabon. But wet, runny, steamy piles of infant feces? That’s just nasty. Sarah Jessica Parker, however, equates that to a softly burning vanilla-eucalyptus soy candle. She told Elle (via PopEater):
I love the smell of diapers; I even [...]
Broderick Babies' First Money-Making Photo Shoot
Baby joy! Hey, everybody, look! Babies! Don't you just love baaaaaabies! We love babies! Babies babies babies! . . . Oh man, sorry about that. We forgot for a second that we don't work for People magazine. And really, we don't give a shit about babies. At least not when they're just sitting there doing [...]
Broderick Babies Birthed
Maybe there's something horribly, horribly wrong with us, but we do not have baby fever. We do not squeal when we see a newborn. We feel no need to coo at strangers' babies as their Polish nannies push them down the street in $1200 strollers. We just don't care. Once in a while we care [...]
SJP's Surrogate Is Totally In Your Face! Rawr!
Would you carry twins for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick? Gestating two fetii in your womb for nine months only to have them plucked out and handed to Hollywood choadfaces is a selfless act that deserves to be commended. Take into consideration that these babies may give you a kick from the inside equivalent [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged celebrity pregnancies, Matthew Broderick, MySpace
Leave a comment
Rusty from Footloose and Despereux Are Having Twins
In lieu of putting two horses in a pen and letting nature take its course, most people who breed horses buy champion stallion semen on the internet and artificially inseminate their prized broodmares, so it makes sense that whinnying show pony Sarah Jessica Parker would do the same. In the wake of a million rumors [...]
Britney Spears Is Totally a Samantha. Am I Right, Girls?
Obviously what we are about to tell you is complete and total bullshit made up by a desperate reporter facing a harsh deadline, but, hey, celebrities are boring lately. So until LiLo and SamRo are caught finger diddling each other on a roller coaster at Disneyland, this is what we've got. Sarah Jessica Parker wants [...]
Square Pegs and Despereaux May Be Headed to Splitsville
It's long been rumored that he enjoys the gentle touch of the masculine, hirsute hand. It's long been rumored that she enjoys the gentle touch of a groomer's brush through her flowing mane and tail. And now, Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker may be parting ways for real. Our personal gossip divorce attorney, FemaleFirst, [...]
Sarah Jessica Parker Prefers Heels to Humping
Mole-free television thespian Sarah Jessica Parker says that shoes are more dependable than a man. Because shoes protect your feet from rocks, errant heroin needles, and puddles of urine, while men cheat on you with women who refer to them as "Mattycakes". NOW Magazine reports:
Sarah Jessica Parker says sheíd choose shoes over a guy ñ [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
1 Comment
Since When Is Nathan Lane a Redhead?
Musical-theater enthusiast Matthew Broderick has cheated on moleless wife Sarah Jessica Parker! With a lady! The shock! Reports Star:
Sarah Jessica Parker's husband has been sneaking off for hot trysts with a stunning redhead half his age, sources tell Star in a blockbuster exclusive.
In the new issue of Star ó on newsstands now ó we report [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Lisa, Kelly, or Jessie?
ï Mr. Skin takes to the streets of Chicago to find out which Saved by the Bell babe is the most wanted in the Windy City. (Mr. Skin)
ï Samantha Ronson blows a load all over Lindsay Lohan. Load, kiss, same thing. (Drunken Stepfather)
ï If Tom Cruise had a comic book. (Holy [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged awards shows, Brandon Davis, Bret Michaels, celebrity breakups, celebrity gay rumors, celebrity hookups, Elizabeth Berkley, Josh Brolin, Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, Kristin Chenoweth, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Miranda Kerr, Orlando Bloom, plastic surgery rumors, Reggie Bush, Samantha Ronson, television, Tiffani Thiessen, Tom Cruise, Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron
Leave a comment