CelebNewsWire» Sandra Bullock Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: They Tried to Make Me Go to Silicone Rehab

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:08:20 +0000

Amy Winehouse has traded needles in the arm for needles in the boobs and lips. (The Blemish)
Rachel Bilson sports Gwyneth Paltrow-style greaseball legs in Flaunt. (Yeeeah!)
James Gandolfini assaulted a paparazzo. Sadly, he later found out that the photog was not, in fact, carrying any nachos on him so it was all for naught. (Anything Hollywood)
Strap on your lucite and jump into a puddle of bronzer–it’s the Shauna Sand sex tape preview! (Nudography)
Tom isn’t the only Cruise who likes a phallic object in the mouth. (Allie Is Wired)
Kelly Brook places crumpets over her crumpets. Then we will eat dunk them in our milk. And other gross metaphors. (Mr. Skin)
Australia is pissssssed about Britney Spears lip synching. (Amy Grindhouse).
Chris Martin calls Kate Bosworth Gwyneth’s “younger version”. And then he porked her. (Celebitchy)
Sandra Bullock in custody battle for porn star’s kid. God, that sentence was awesome. (Hollywood Gossip)
Michael Lohan wants to release more Lindsay tapes. Yeah, that’ll help. (Pop on the Pop)
Stop being an asshole and be our pal on Facebook.

CNW Junk Drawer: Heidi Montag Twatt

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:41:37 +0000

You WILL see Heidi Montag nude in Playboy. Just what you always wanted! (Yeeeah!)
Hands off the Brad Pitt. Do not touch the Brad Pitt. That means you, Ann Curry. (Anything Hollywood)
When Megan Fox gets a manicure, she actually gets a pedicure. Get it? No? Click on the link then, Einstein. (The Blemish)
Real Madrid soccer dude Cristiano Ronaldo allegedly let Paris Hilton handle his balls. (The Hollywood Gossip)
Aw, Britney found a nice boy. (Drunken Stepfather)
Cher’s kid, Chastity Bono, is transitioning into a dude. You go Chaz. P.S. Insert obligatory “gonna have a Bono” joke here. (Bitten and Bound)
Part Gollum, part Grinch, and allllllll sexy: Phil Spector without his wig(s). (CelebWarship)
Usher and his wife are splitzo. (Pop on the Pop)
Sandra Bullock likes her tits. Heeeeeey, so do we! BFFS!!!! (Daily Stab)

CNW Junk Drawer: MF T&A in UK GQ

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:43:52 +0000

All the pics from Megan Fox’s UK GQ shoot. That should keep you busy. (Yeeeah!)
David Carradine was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok. Grasshopper, no! (TMZ)
Melissa Joan Hart was praying that Farrah Fawcett wouldn’t die . . . because that would have bumped her off the cover of people. Melissa Joan Hartless. Tsk tsk, little teenage witch. (The Blemish)
Sandra Bullock says she’s going to be nude in The Proposal. We call Sandra Bullshit on this one. (Fatback)
Did Cameron Diaz get her face chopped up? (Cityrag)
Speaking of Cam, she says she wants a fat ass. (Amy Grindhouse)
Joe Jonas does a video parody of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. You’re two months too late on this one, homey. What next, a “leave Britney alone” parody? Play him off, keyboard cat. (Allie Is Wired)
Billy Bob Thornton’s daughter killed a baby. You heard us. (Celeb Warship)
Who do the voodoo that you do? Nicolas Cage do that voodoo. Doo doo. (Daily Stab)
Kate Hudson is serious about bouncing on A-Rod. (Pop on the Pop)

Sandra's Bullocks?

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:57:34 +0000

She’s chirpy! She’s fun! She’s charming! She looks a little like Michael Jackson! She’s Sandra Bullock, and she’s strapping on her romantic comedy shoes and being quirkily cute and cutely quirky in a new movie called The Proposal. Oh, and you might be able to see her beav. According to Mr Skin:

The Proposal, which finds Bullock as an about-to-be-deported Canadian businesswoman who tricks her underling (Scarlett Johansson’s husbo Ryan Reynolds) into marrying her, will hit theaters on June 19th. But will your jaw hit the floor with a bit of boobs of bush from Sandra?

Bullock recently told Entertainment Weekly of her character:

“[Screenwriter] Peter [Chiarelli] wrote me like a guy, and he never stopped writing me like a guy.”

To which the mag countered:

Except, perhaps, in the nude scene. The crucial moment transpires when Bullock’s character steps out of the shower, searches for her towel, and stumbles into an equally unclad Reynolds. It was the only sequence that choreographer-turned-director [Anne] Fletcher insisted they rehearse. “I really wanted them to be naked,” says Fletcher, “and they never batted an eyelash.” Jokes Bullock, “I wanted to do full-frontal nudity before I turned 60, so, check.”

Cripes, Ryan Reynolds spends his off days with Scarlett Johansson’s boobs pressed against him, and then he spends his work days with Sandra Bullock’s boobs pressed against him. The only way his life could be better would be if he got paid 5 million dollars and all the free sandwiches he could eat–oh.

CNW Junk Drawer: "The Good Loving You Give Me Every Day"

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 17:23:40 +0000

ï Angelina and Brad are reportedly adopting an Indian baby as we speak. Because African babies are soooo early-to-mid October 2k6.

ï Please, for the love of all that is good and holy in this mortal world, will someone, anyone, shoot a tranq dart into Naomi Campbell's neck?

ï Rush Limbaugh accuses Parkinson's sufferer Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his symptoms in a political ad, saying, "He is moving around and shaking, and it is purely an act." Seriously, dude! And remember when Christopher Reeve was tooling around in a wheelchair with a trach tube? Also totally all an act. Fucker was just lazy and tired of walking and breathing. Some Superman!

ï DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, has moved on from Nicole Richie to nice Jewish girl Michelle Trachtenberg. His bubby is so pleased.

ï For the reasonable price of $100,000, Paris Hilton will come to your New Year's Eve party 3 hours late, sit in a corner and text furiously on her Sidekick for 20 minutes, perhaps flash an assflap or two, then leave.

ï Sandra Bullock had sexual intercourse on Sunday night.

ï Federline the Younger is actually named Jayden James. SPF squared, we hardly knew ye.

ï Tara Reid said that her nipples "looked like goose-shaped eggs". Not goose eggs. Eggs, shaped like geese. Nipples like thin shells with webbed feet and beaks and wings holding albumen and yolk. Yup. That's what Tara Reid's nipples looked like.

Divine Secrets of Sandra Bullock's Weddinghood

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 18 Jul 2005 17:25:50 +0000

Sandy Bullock's off the market, boys! She married Monster Garage host Jesse James in a star-studded ceremony near Santa Barbara. And by "star-studded" we mean "William Shatner and that one lady who used to play Brenda on 227 were there." And by that, we mean "ha ha ha ha ha ha."

Bullock and James arrived at their wedding in a red monster truck. Somewhere right now, Britney Spears just read that and kicked herself for not thinking of it first. Jesse gave Sandra a vintage Neil Lane ring, while Sandy presented her groom with a specially crafted steel band. Sandy and Jesse are nothing if not wily little shits, and kept the wedding from their guests, telling them only that they would be celebrating Sandra's 41st birthday. But lo! when the revelers arrived, they soon learned that they would be attending the nuptials of the pair. And they were so incensed at having the wool pulled over their eyes that they rose from their seats and picked up their folding chairs and beat the newly married couple to death. OK, so that last part didn't happen. But wouldn't it be totally hilarious if it did?

They're not wedding pictures, but they are nude pictures. Sandra B at MrSkin.com.

Sandra Bullock Has a Healthy Butt

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 17:45:45 +0000

We confess, we've been a little concerned about the health of Sandra Bullock's a-hole after we learned that she uses butt cream on her face. If she's got it backwards, that means she's been using Retin-A and Creme de la Mer on her anus, and that's just begging for a uncomfortable rash. But now we can rest easy, because Sandy's exhaust pipe has been given a clean bill of health. Rejoice!

Some sisters like to spend the day shopping, some go to spas, some gossip over a nice chicken caesar salad. But Sandra Bullock and her sister Gesine bond over matching colonoscopies! The pair thought they'd better get their kazoos checked since their mother Helga died of colon cancer five years ago. The sisters were given a clean bill of health, causing Sandy to crow, "The doctor said, 'You don't have to come back for another 10 years.' We were like, 'How great is that?'" To celebrate, they hit some shops and threw away that Miss Congeniality 2 money, but their purchases were affected by the large amount of painkillers they had taken. Bullock related, "I was stoned out of my head. I bought a camera because it matched my hair colour – and the most interesting clothes… Now I have this insane Picasso-looking beach shirt and a great camera that matches my hair." Consider yourself lucky, Sandra. The last time I went shopping on painkillers, I ended up buying a newborn infant on the black market.

Go 'head. Check out Sandra Bullock's nude review at MrSkin.com.

Celebs Open Wallets for Tsunami Victims

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 04 Jan 2005 16:09:14 +0000

Sandra Bullock, Sharon Osbourne, and Leonardo DiCaprio are among the celebrities who are wisely donating money to post-tsunami relief effort in Asia. Another big celebrity, Kabbalah, is donating 10,000 liters of its special "holy" water. Uh . . . thanks?

Although DiCaprio is said to have made a "huge" contribution to the relief effort via Unicef, Sandra Bullock wins the biggest, bluest generosity ribbon with her Red Cross donation of 1 million dollars, which is pretty commendable, seeing how she probably earned around twelve dollars in 2004.

Sharon Osbourne, on the other hand, made $13.3 million in last year and has donated $190,000. We can only assume her conservative offering is due to the fact that, in the wake of their December burglary, Jack and Kelly are in dire need of flat screen TVs.