According to a family friend, the kids love Jake so much that when itís time for Reese to hand them over to Ryan, little Deacon canít stop talking about Jake. ìItís Jake did this, Jake brought mommy flowers and coffee, Jake says we should recycle,î the friend tells OK!

Itís reportedly taking itís toll on Ryan. ìRyan called Reese and suggested she stop letting him (Jake) spend so much time with the kids,î the insider tells OK! ìHe was pretty irate on the phone. Reese barely let him finish the sentence before she shot back that what she does with her personal life is her business.î

We can see how that would get pretty annoying. A three-year-old constantly bragging, "Jake smells like bubblegum, Jake has a picture of George Clooney in his wallet, Jake says you're responsible for the destruction of the rainforest," would really get on your nerves.

And in other Reese news, yesterday WENN brought us this headline: "Witherspoon's Eye Blister Stops Shooting." Well, thank God. It could've hit someone. And blood leaves a stain. Just look at Britney.

"They are a real couple. (The relationship) has really grown. [Abbie is] spending time with his kids (Ava, eight, and Deacon, four) – it's not like she's on the side. She's part of the family." And Phillippe's children appear to have warmed to Cornish, after they were snapped Christmas shopping together last weekend. A witness tells Us Weekly magazine, "Ava seemed very comfortable with Abbie. Ava picked a wreath, and Abbie put it around her head as a joke. They both were laughing." Another source adds, "Going out together and leaking a few photos is their discreet way of letting the public know it's official. It's not like you can send out a press release about these things."

Pffft. Sure you can! It's easy! Here.

For immediate release: Ryan Phillippe's seminal fluid, into the proverbial kangaroo pouch of Down Under doll Abbie Cornish!

The American public loves nothing more than the hearty soiling of their sweethearts. What better way to celebrate the holidays than observing cherubic Ryan Phillippe allowing his other woman to play house with his Withersprouts?

They're totally doing it! Will Ava strangle Abbie with that jaunty Christmas wreath? Will Reese impale her with her dangerously tapered chin? It's a holiday mystery . . .

"After several of Ryanís buddies joined them at Britneyís table, Ryan excused himself and went into the nearby menís room,î said the source. ìOn the spur of the moment, Britney followed. Alarmed, Britneyís bodyguards began pounding and screaming on the door. With no response from her, they went ballistic. ìAfter calling out to Britney several more times asking if she was OK, they busted in the door and found Britney and Ryan groping and kissing each other,î said the insider.î

You can't really admonish Britney for doing something like this. She is, after all, primarily noted for hanging out in gas station toilets minus shoes. Intimate encounters in public elimination areas are in her blood. The sight of doo-smeared bowls and the smell of urinal cakes? To Britney, it's akin to two dozen roses and a velvet Tiffany & Co. box.

Classic Britney! Go retro at MrSkin.com.

Ryan Phillippe was caught by photogs giving 18-year-old actress, Nikki Reed, a lift while leaving L.A. hot spot Winstonís on Monday night.

And since riding 'gun is the equivalent of dating in the blogosphere, web sites are now claiming that Phillippe, 32, has dipped his toe into the kiddie pool (he split from wife Reese Witherspoon, 30, last October).

However, sources tell Usmagazine.com that Reed is not involved with the actor, but is actually dating one of Phillippeís friends.

Of course she's dating his friend. He's clearly riding in the backseat of the car. You just can't see him because he's a supersmart scientist and he invented a potion that makes you invisible. He didn't want Ryan or Nikki to take the potion, for fear of unknown side effects. But if you call out his name he'll surely answer you, even though you can't see him. Try it. His name's Bryan Billibbe. He's a really nice guy.

Nikki Reed is legal and sexy at MrSkin.com.

And find Ryan at MaleStars.com.

ï Anna Nicole sold the video of her C-section to Entertainment Tonight for $1 million. OK, so for those who like to keep count: she sold the last pictures of her with her son, she sold the pictures of her "commitment ceremony" to lawyer/barnacle Howard K. Stern, she sold the (incredibly bloody and brutal) video of her baby's birth. Next on the auction block: the baby.

ï Moby hopes that if and when he has children, they will turn out gay. Gay children everywhere are hoping that if and when they are sired, it won't be to Moby.

ï Ryan Phillippe says, in regards to rumors that he cheated on Reese Witherspoon, ìIím not a perfect person, but Iím not guilty of a lot of the things I have been accused of.î He's not guilty of a lot of those things. Just a bunch of them. A passel, if you will.

ï Lindsay Lohan has been rear-ended. Has she ever!

ï Sienna Miller gets revenge on Pittsburgh by showing her boobs. That'll learn 'em.

ï Jordan (sweet, sweet Jordan) says that husband Peter Andre's past as a schtupper of tramps makes her sick. Apparently, she feels fine about him being a present schtupper of one tramp.

ï Jessica Simpson makes with the cleavage; jazz hands.

ï Sumner Redstone says that he dropped Tom Cruise's contract because his wife, Paula, "like women everywhere, had come to hate him." Ouch, and hahahahaha.

ï Cindy Margolis is in Playboy. And her bod makes us hum Bob Seger's "Like a Rock".

ï The drummer for McFly (who?) has been bragging to anyone who'll listen that he has felt the gently licking flames of Lohan's firecrotch. Yeeeeah, that's like bragging that you ate food once, or that you sometimes blink.

ï Step aside, Brangelina! Take a hike, Bennifer! Let's all give a warm welcome to . . . Tophvanka Grump!

ï If there's anything U.S. Marines hate, it's being in the presence of a large-breasted, blonde, ultra-famous porn star.

ï Katie Holmes recently ran into Brooke Shields and stopped to chat. Afterwards, her handler best friend ever threw a burlap sack over her head, threw her in the back of a Brinks security van, drove her to a secluded location 4 miles beneath the earth's crust, and subjected her to 72 straight hours of deprogramming and delousing.

ï Heidi Klum: finally, a celebrity who ain't afraid to get a little scary for the sake of Halloween. Nicely done.

ï Patrick Dempsey's ex-wife, whom he married when he was 21 and she was the 48-year-old stepmother of his best friend, is alleging that he beat her during the filming of Can't Buy Me Love. Hey, these actors are tempestuous, artistic types and often have trouble bringing their work home with them at the end of the day. Can you really blame Dempsey for feeling violent when he spent day in and day out in character as a brutal, sexist killer with a hair-trigger temper. Wait, what? Can't Buy Me Love was about a mild-mannered nerd on a riding lawnmower? Oh.

"We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family, and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time."

Thank god for that public plea, because who knows how many deranged fans were sharpening up their shivs, getting ready to make a few blind swipes at the little Witherspoon-Phillippe spawn while out of their minds with grief?
No word yet on what caused the split, but a mysterious "source" tells TMZ.com that Reese has hired celebrity divorce lawyer Robert Kaufman, and that the split was not caused by any one incident (like, say, Canadian waitress diddling?) but was "cumulative". Yeah, we have absolutely no idea why these two nutty kids just couldn't make it work. No idea whatsoever.

See Reese's pieces at MrSkin.com.

And MaleStars.com can certainly take care of that Ryan craving.

"How will we celebrate at home? With hot and heavy lovemaking."

Hot and heavy lovemaking. That made us almost as sick as when Star Jones said that FOD Al Reynolds had "the legs of a stallion."
And on to the sexy part of our evening; Drew Barrymore likes the sound of pee mixed in with her "hot and heavy lovemaking." Drew's hipster boyfriend, Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, told Jane magazine,

ìI had sex in the bathroom at the opera a little while ago, in New York. We went to ëLa Bohemeí and it was wicked boring. So we decided to go to the bathroom, and we got caught, and it was embarrassing. If weíd gone to the menís room, people wouldíve heard it and said, ëGood on you, man.í But we were in the ladiesí room, and when we heard an old woman start to tinkle, we couldnít help but crack up. I guess she told the security guy – he came in and was, like, ëJust go.í "

We're guessing the last time you were at a "wicked boring" opera, your girlfriend (or that Bloomingdale's mannequin you outfitted in your mom's old Lane Bryant dress) wouldn't pop one off with you in a urine-soaked bathroom stall.

That Fab's a lucky guy. See why at MrSkin.com.

Ryan doesn't have it half bad either.

And speaking of Ryan, he's at MaleStars.com.