CelebNewsWire» Rosario Dawson Archives – CelebNewsWire

It's Sexy Sexy Bikini Time, Y'all!

Agent E. — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:00:16 +0000

Lately we’ve been so caught up in Michael Jackson’s death turning out to be almost as crazy as his life and Jessica Simpson getting dumped and whatnot that we’ve lost sight of what’s important: hot ladies looking hot in their hot bikinis. Since it’s the middle of the summer, we’ve become a little immune to the sexiness of the bikini. They’re everywhere, and there’s only so much of Audrina Patridge’s fake tits one can take. So it’s nice to see a couple of A-listers showing off their T&A in spandex. We don’t want to be the people who are like, “Jennifer Connelly and Rosario Dawson in bikinis? Pshaw. We would be interested if they were naked” just because it’s July. Because once November rolls around and all we see outside are parkas and turtlenecks we will KILL to see such a lovely sight. See, this is part of the new CelebNewsWire, trying to appreciate what we’re given instead of lamenting what could have been. We will be grateful for an Emma Watson panty-clad upskirt instead of saying, “Damn, why can’t she be more like Britney?” Also part of the new CelebNewsWire? Trying to resist the urge to masturbate in the automotive aisle at Target. First step, destroying our DVD copy of Crash. Maybe that’s too personal for you. We’ll add “Keep our disgusting perversions to ourselves” to the list.

Also, is that Gina Gershon with Rosario? Because if so, we’re quite impressed that Rosario could out-sexy the star of Showgirls and Bound.

Rosario-Lickin' Good

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 16:58:36 +0000

The talented and sexy Rosario Dawson seems to have turned out OK. She seems polite and together. We've never seen her, cooze out, falling out of a cab, she's never been to jail, and as far as we know, she's never had sexual intercourse with Brandon Davis. So what did Rosario's mother do to raise her so well? She licked her. You heard us. IMDb says:

She tells the New York Times, "My mom licked me – that was her punishment. If I was a little uppity or if I didnít listen or if she wanted to get my attention, sheíd lick the side of my face or under my armpit. My momís a six-foot-tall amazon and sheíd say, 'You came out of my vagina and I own every part of you,' and sheíd lick me like I was her wee pup and she was a lioness. It was humiliating and really intense. Very primal. Itís not spanking, but it definitely works."

And that's why Lindsay Lohan is such a rotten brat today. Dina never licked her. She just used her mouth to pick her up by the scruff of her neck and gently place her in a basket full of yarn balls. You know what happens to kids who are spoiled like that. They end up in a burlap sack at the bottom of the crick, that's what.

Dawson=Awesome. Rosario Gets Cleavy in a Bikini.

Agent E. — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:49:16 +0000

Holy Bazoombas, Batman! (And there. We did it. We mentioned damned Batman, which is apparently very popular with the kids these days. Can we move on, please? We've got boobies to talk about.) Here we have Rosario Dawson in a bikini. The camera is placed in a very convenient location so that me may easily ogle her deep, deep cleavage. We are very appreciative of this placement. And so is Rosario, apparently. In our next exhibit you will see Rosario noticing this convenient lens location.

She's saying, "Hi, Mr. Cameraman! Hi! Did you get a good shot of my maracas? They're very lush. Oh, you did? Good, good. That's settled then. How about my butt? Did you see that? No? OK, I'll just finish hosing myself off here and get up and show you. You just hold tight. It'll just be a minute."

Find more pics of Rosario's titty tunnel at Drunken Stepfather.

And see Rosario Dawson nude at MrSkin.com.

Hollywood's Hottest Honkers

Agent E. — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 17:55:58 +0000

What better way to celebrate National Breast Cancer Awareness Month than by talking about how awesome and bouncy and soft boobs are? We really can't think of a better way. And since you douchebags love lists almost as much as you love titties, Film Threat put together a little historical countdown, complete with a cleavage-fest via YouTube clips. So here they are, in somewhat chronological order, the best bazooms in moviedom:

Mae West
Jane Russell
Marilyn Monroe
Dorothy Dandridge
Jayne Mansfield
Sophia Loren
Elizabeth Taylor
Brigitte Bardot
Ursula Andress
Honor Blackman
Raquel Welch
Chesty Morgan
Tura Satana
Uschi Digard
Pam Grier
Jennifer Connelly
Monica Bellucci
Rosario Dawson
Scarlett Johansson
Eva Green
Jennifer Tilly
Asia Argento
Thandie Newton
Helen Mirren
Jessica Rabbit

Seriously? Jessica fucking Rabbit? Is that the best you could do, Film Threat? Did you think to yourselves, "Man, we've exhausted all the luscious lung pillows in Hollywood. There is not one set of sweater kittens left worth ogling. Guess we better talk about some cartoon casabas"? Did Lindsay Lohan's meaty Mean Girls-era mounds not make the list due to the creepy teenage factor? Did you disregard Elizabeth Hurley because she seems like a bit of a shrew? Did Jessica Simpson get cut because you've never actually been able to watch her on film for longer than three minutes? Was there really not one single set of Hollywood hooters that you found more appealing than Jessica Rabbit's paper-and-ink pom poms?

Not content reading about those famous boobers? You're in luck, because most of these ladies have shown off their spongecakes, and you can see them at MrSkin.com.

Appetite for Altercation: Leatherface Vs. The Mask

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 22 May 2006 17:44:04 +0000

Continuing our 1990 theme, creepy cornrowed Guns n' Roses singer Axl Rose got into a kerfuffle with wiggerwear designer Tommy Hilfiger at actress Rosario Dawson's birthday party. Hilfiger bitchslapped Rose, who responded by leaning in and saying, "You know where you are? You're in the jungle, Tommy. You're gonna diiiieeeeeee."

The alleged incident occured on Thursday night at the New York club Plumm, where Hilfiger was a guest, and Rose was scheduled to perform. According to Axl, he "politely" asked Hilfiger to move his date's drink so it wouldn't spill, which prompted the designer to "go ballistic", feyly smacking Axl on the arm and cussing at him. Hilfiger was then ejected from the premises, and Plumm's owner, Noel Ashman, said,

"Axl was a gentleman and had the good sense not to retaliate, as he would have done some serious damage to Hilfiger."

No kidding–had Tommy not gone for the arm and instead landed a few of those floppy slaps upon Axl's new polymer cyberface, his fist would have shattered into a thousand little pieces.

Much hotter: Rosario Dawson naked at MrSkin.com.